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Learning to Feed Ourselves
Maybe you think problem numero uno is that it’s hard enough to get your kid to study anything. Why would they want to study God’s Word? Maybe they’d rather be at the dentist, with Celine Dion on the sound system.
But have you seen kids naturally study whatever they’re interested in?
My son Will, for example, decided that he wanted to be a zoologist while he was still mangling his Zs. That’s why I lugged back from Africa no fewer than three animal encyclopedias for him to pore over as he waited to fall asleep at night and why we both know the name of nearly every bird that perches in our yard.
Any teacher will let you know kids are self-driven to study whatever they have the bug for. Hence all the books with characters fetchingly named (for example, Captain Underpants). In my limited experience, when kids are naturally engaged, it cuts a teacher’s work in half. If kids see God’s Word as engaging, they’ll study that too. They will learn to feed themselves, so to speak. My son Jack decided the stories in Sunday school didn’t have enough detail, considering all the times he’d heard them, so he decided to find the stories in the Bible himself.
In hopes that our kids will develop the life skill of study, we train their hearts to engage, to connect their faith with everyone and everything—from the cashier at Subway to the bully at school to their chores. The point of education isn’t just so they can pull down six figures or stay out of the poorhouse. We teach our kids to live a lifestyle of study, applying the fullness of God’s Word—and the knowledge he’s inlaid in the world—to live lives that flourish for his honor and our good.
In Proverbs, the word wisdom—translated from the Hebrew hokhma—is front and center. Its concept covers technical skill, artistic skill, even martial skill—and more traditional concepts, like prudence. I love the idea that God’s wisdom bleeds into our kids’ education because this is his world, run by his truth.
God’s Word: The Ultimate Swiss Army Knife
When I was a young mom—with preschoolers welded around my calves and the older ones around my thighs—I was embedded in an intensive Bible study of Revelation, then Daniel. At the time, I tended to see things with (exhausted, browfurrowed) mommy vision: What if this stuff happens to my kids in their lifetime?
That’s when I heard a radio interview with Voddie Baucham about leading our families in faith. Here’s what stuck with me: I may not know what lies in my kids’ future. But I do know what the Word says: “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV, emphasis added). With Scripture, they’re going to be prepped for anything life throws at ’em.1
Think of all we equip our kids with: Bug spray! Sunscreen! Band-Aids! Firstaid training! Do you know how to change a tire? You need a new backpack! Have you read Homer in the original language? Did I teach you how to sew a button? Do you know how to apply a tourniquet? We’re constantly handing kids tools for any life circumstance. But God’s Word is the larger-than-life Swiss Army knife for whatever life throws at them.
Permanent Truth
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The life skill of studying the Bible encourages our kids to seek both deep understanding and what God’s truths look like in real life. It is about…
• choosing to make God’s Word part of who we are
• applying God’s truth to the study of every subject (history, science, art, cosmetology, and cooking)
• planting what will reveal itself more fully throughout life
• studying our daily and past experiences to see how God’s Word applies there
• more than memory or knowledge
Still, it’s not fear that makes me want the Word for my kids more than nearly anything in this world. The Word is where we find life. John and I want them to experience God in his fullness. The Bible is a result of God inviting humanity into relationship.
Great thinkers, wise thinkers, can see beyond black-and-white thinking into a complex reality; they can pull in God’s truths from the entirety of the Bible, science, math, or any other subject. As theologians have taught for millennia, all truth is God’s truth. That’s why according to Deuteronomy 6:4-9, we’re talking about God’s Word as it applies here. And here. And there. We show that all Scripture is the ultimate Swiss Army knife for life.
Some of you with teenagers may experience, like I have, the punch-to-the-gut questioning of Scripture principles you hold fiercely. Please know that allowing our kids the headspace to question, doubt, and find answers—particularly alongside us or a trusted mentor—could prove far more muscular than clamping down on conversation. Use their questions as sources of dialogue, seeking out answers together (especially if you don’t know them). Fully addressed doubts act like wellformed, critical antibodies for the inevitable future affronts to our kids’ faith.
What Do My Kids Pick Up About God’s Word from Me?
As you immerse kids in God’s Word, first start with yourself. When you get heart-level honest, what’s your own perception of God’s Word? It’s a decent place to start: How do I, in my gut, respond to God’s Word? Do we see God and his Word like a police officer, constantly pulling us over or standing with meaty arms crossed, just waiting for us to blow it? Or do we display anxiety about obeying or knowing the Word (“Gotta check off that box!”) rather than genuine delight and rest in the work of Christ? Do we use our knowledge of the Bible as something that makes us the “teacher” to everyone else, like some overgrown hall monitor ensuring that everyone’s in line? Do we use it to demonstrate our vast Bible Bee type of knowledge, rather than that knowledge leading to worship, joy, and love?
Let your kids know how God’s Word changes you—not as a project (“I shall impart to my offspring what I learned in Bible study!”) but as a genuine outpouring of your joy in Jesus. Let them know what you think about a Scripture passage, and open it up for discussion—as opposed to just telling. Ask them some of the questions you’re asking yourself.
When John and I served in youth ministry, our youth group kids were a bit of a chocolate box—we never knew what we were going to get. We had kids from all three major education categories: public school, private school, homeschool. Anecdotally, we noticed that the factor driving the kids’ faith wasn’t where parents sent their kids to school. Their parents’ relationship with God was an indicator of their child’s faith. Parents with a thriving personal walk with God tended to pass this on. More removed parents, for whom God was a wise religious activity, might propagate listless, barely relevant faith.
What Not to Do
Here’s what not to do: Never use Scripture as a club. We all know people whose parents have been so insistent on their kids’ spirituality that the kids take off, arms pinwheeling, in the opposite direction. There’s never a singular cause for rebellion. But force, as opposed to training and discipline, tends to emphasize not that God creates the growth but that we do, if we white-knuckle our level of control.
We all know the problem’s not with wanting our kids’ spiritual vitality too much. The problem is the way we sometimes go about it. Some parents use Scripture as a tool to lash their kids rather than draw them to God and his holiness (“Oh no, sir! We are keeping the Sabbath holy! Get in this car!”). I know I’ve done it.
A few years back, the four-year-old of a Ugandan friend brought home a note from the teacher, requesting permission to beat (that is, cane) him in front of the classroom for consistently failing to hold his pencil properly. Now, this rightfully seems extreme to twenty-first-century American sensibilities. But I wondered about more than the harshness factor. What would motivate that child to love writing if that was what he associated with the subject? Would he be self-driven to improve, to learn more, if he only remembered it lathered in shame?
Scripture does have a place in discipline. But if we wield the Bible like a paddle, we’re not helping kids love the Word’s correction or God’s kindness that leads to repentance. We’re helping them hate it.
The question is how we use it. Ask yourself, What tone do I use when I speak God’s Word to my kids? What message are they getting about these invaluable words? Do they hear God’s judgment—or God’s kind wisdom and mercy (which still honestly address sin)?
You might also consider your kids’ attitudes toward their youth or children’s program at church and the engagement potential of the teaching there. Entertainment isn’t the first priority. But whether your kids have solid friends and an enjoyable, Word-loving, the-Bible-is-intensely-relevant-to-your-life atmosphere may have more of an influence on their quite-human souls than you realize.
In light of that desire to engage rather than coerce, choose only a few of the following ideas. (Relentless activity, even to bring more of God’s Word, seems contrary to the idea that Jesus has already purchased our peace, that he is sovereign and we aren’t.) Maybe you begin with having dinner together to pry open the space in your schedule and take another step toward rock-solid relational bridges with your kids.
Let go of the frantic fear about your kids knowing, doing, and being enough and acting right. Beckon kids into relationship with you and a love of God’s Word rather than using suffocation by fear.
Writing on the Wall: Practical Ideas
Award Scripture “points.”
I award points to my testosterone-propelled, never-met-a-competition-we-didn’t-like household for bringing a verse into a discussion or answering questions or memorization of Scripture. Of course, I have a history: My parents rewarded my sisters and me for memorizing 1 Corinthians 13 by taking us out to dinner. Competitions and rewards are for the sake of fun and engagement rather than meaning. Balance these with other life skills (such as meditation) to communicate that the Bible isn’t just more to do or achieve.
Set age-appropriate goals.
Give kid-selected rewards for Scripture memorization. My kids have earned everything from a night out with Dad to extra screen time to Lego sets to an Iron Man costume. When my kids were younger, I jazzed up DIY Bible memory cards with Star Wars clip art and fonts. But remember: Action does not equal heart change. Ask your kids questions about what they’re learning, and help them apply those truths in various situations.
Go on a treasure hunt.
As a family, trade Bible verses or concepts you’ve written in code, or backward, with a nondominant hand, or with “invisible ink” (milk or lemon juice, where writing appears when the paper is held over a heat source). Elementary-age kids might enjoy plotting out a treasure hunt (complete with a map or clues) to help family members find the “better than gold” (see Psalm 19:10).
Have the kids draw a cartoon about a Bible story.
Draw or print out a comic strip template for kids to use to draw their cartoon.
When you read a Bible story, hand out roles (consider using The Voice Bible, which contains parts formatted as a script!), asking people to read or act out their appropriate parts. Your goal here is to help your kids get caught up in God’s story. Author Jessica Thompson notes, “I know I don’t want to read a list [of] rules. But give me an action-packed story about a good King fighting for his people and I’m hooked.”2 My kids internalize what they act out, and it’s almost always…memorable. (“No, you can’t just wear underwear on the cross.” “No, I’m forbidding the use of ketchup for this.”)
Write newspaper headlines.
Have your kids write headlines or Tweets (for older kids) about a Bible story or passage.
Have the kids direct a short video or trailer about a Bible story or passage.
Legos, claymation, a movie-trailer app, etc., could provide the medium. The kids might like collaborating on this with other kids—maybe those whose parents are over for dinner or friends from your neighborhood.
Play the telephone game with a Bible verse.
One person whispers a Bible verse in the ear of the person next to them, who whispers the verse to the person next to them, and so on. See how close to the actual verse you can get when the last person says the verse out loud.
Meet with like-minded women and their daughters for girls’ nights.
A friend of mine and her daughter decided to meet with other like-minded girls and their moms on a quarterly basis for girls’ nights. They’d have pizza, do a special game or project, and spend time bringing the Word to life (one night they compared popular social media memes and explored how they stood up to the truths of the Bible). The girls continued to support each other outside the group. It created a “band of sisters” who would provide positive peer pressure, supporting one another in the race ahead and their growth in God’s Word.
Fresh Ink: Resources for Vibrant Faith
•I love thebibleproject.com, which produces masterfully animated videos and posters based on books of the Bible and on biblical themes. The video on Proverbs in their Wisdom series details the concept of hokhma in a kid-friendly way.
•The Gospel of John is a movie containing the full text of John, and it can be streamed free on YouTube. If you want to jazz it up, have grape juice handy for the scene when Jesus turns the water into wine, fish sticks for feeding the 5,000, and bread for the Last Supper.
•The Action Bible. My kids have literally loved the cover off this graphic novel of the Bible—and continue to amaze me with their in-depth knowledge of the stories of God’s Word. When the cover falls off, I’m getting another.
•Friend and author Kristen Welch raves about using the supersimple Discovery Bible Study method with her kids and even with their dinner guests—where everyone gets a notebook, and everyone responds to the passage. Get them noodling on it, maybe even arguing about Scripture, and get them interested.
•The Big Theology for Little Hearts series offers board books to start talking about Bible ideas with even your toddler or preschooler.
•What’s in the Bible with Buck Denver—laugh-out-loud (for adults too) and remarkably wise and comprehensive videos—may amaze you with what you can learn from these puppets and top-shelf animation, let alone what your kids will sponge up. From Phil Vischer, the mastermind behind VeggieTales, this series spans Genesis to Revelation. My kids loved watching and quoting: “Caffeine! Nature’s gas pedal!”
•My kids are loving the temporary tattoos from Dwell Differently (dwelldifferently.com)—where we, yes, have a monthly subscription for the fam. Each swanky design has the first letters of a Scripture verse, so we can memorize together. That’s my kind of ink.
•I had a blast in AWANA growing up, with all its cool games, patches, jewels, and trophies. A lot of programs are still going strong. Find an AWANA club at http://awana.org/club-finder.
•Find more resources, like printable sermon notetaking pages for kids (“My Personal Treasure Map for Today’s Sermon”) at janelbreitenstein.com/permanentmarkers/study.
•Bible.is is a free audiobook app of the Bible; you choose the version. Sometimes I play it when I’m unloading the dishwasher, but maybe your child would want to listen on the way to school or as he’s falling asleep.
•Try introducing kids to a basic catechism. (I didn’t do this as a kid, but it’s a great way to cover basic theology in memorable chunks.) I like Cornerstones: 200 Questions & Answers to Learn Truth—maybe have one of your kids read one or two questions at bedtime or dinner. You might even give a small reward for kids who can remember past answers.
•The Radical Book for Kids: Exploring the Roots and Shoots of Faith, laid out a little like a kids’ magazine or National Geographic for kids, is cool enough to have kids look over your shoulder as you read.
•Exploring the Bible: A Bible Reading Plan for Kids (Crossway, 2017) provides a cool plan for kids 6 to 12 years old to experience and interact with the Bible in the course of one year.
•Families with active kids may like the ideas (which may include lighting toothpaste on fire) in The Very Best, Hands-On, Kinda Dangerous Family Devotions: 52 Activities Your Kids Will Never Forget by Tim Shoemaker.
•At my sister’s house one December, I was charmed by the cutiepatootie kids’ Advent cards strung across her kitchen window. These cards from Kids Read Truth have questions for each age group and a darling illustration, plus the kids are meditating on the same Scripture passages that mom and dad are (from shereadstruth.com and hereadstruth.com). The site has other resources too, like memory cards and gorgeous, frameable Scripture art.
True Colors: Discussion Questions for Kids
•What’s a Bible verse you’ve been thinking about lately? I’ve been thinking about…
•Hey, can we cuddle and read a bit tonight?
•What has God been teaching you lately?
•Want to watch these videos together (see Fresh Ink on page 90) or color with me (using Scripture coloring pages)?
Think Ink: Contemplative Questions for Parents
•What have been some of the best tools to help you dig into God’s Word?
•John recently challenged me in my own devotional times to make the goal not only to connect with God or his Word but also to enjoy him. How would your relationship with God change if that were the goal?
•What’s one part of the Bible you wish you knew more about?
•What are some of your own greatest demotivators for getting into the Bible? What’s one practical way you could disarm one of them?
•Jesus used his knowledge of God’s Word to combat lies Satan spewed out. What are some of the lies to which you feel most vulnerable? What relevant Scripture verses offer clear truths you can use to escape and endure (1 Corinthians 10:13)?
•I like creating positive associations during my devotional time so it feels less like checking a box and a little more like “me” time: I craft a decaf latte; I pull out my pink grapefruit body butter; I sit in the small sunroom off my bedroom, my toes in the sunlight. After I feel connected with God, I occasionally try to “create” with him—filling my journal with ideas for writing. How could you create positive associations for yourself in this intimate time?
John and I moved from our first house when Baden wasn’t yet one year old. I recalled the other night that we’d planted a white lilac bush (whose plastic tag informed us it would be massive) on the corner of the property, and a linden by the edge of the road. I wondered what they’d look like now if we drove by because even the forests of Colorado—pillars of an ecosystem—began as seeds.
Maybe that’s what I love about this life skill. It’s about planting something living and active, something stretching into nurturing trees that outgrow me (Matthew 13:31-32).
Prayer of the Dependent Parent
Lord, I want my kids to taste and see that you’re good (Psalm 34:8). But it’s a decent challenge to help someone else fall in love with your Word, particularly when I have no power to change what’s in them. Remind me that my kids’ Bible knowledge is not my merit badge. My kids’ or my own spiritual résumé is trash in light of knowing you (Philippians 3:4-9).
Reveal my attitude toward your truth—whether I let it transform me, whether I see it as beautiful, whether I fully believe it to be true.
Show me opportunities to bring Scripture into all the little and big moments with my kids. Create in me a thirst to listen to you through your Word and do what it says (James 1:22). Shape my kids to be fierce, devoted lovers of the Bible who determine all truth through its lens, cherish it, and depend on it for the words of life (John 6:68).
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