TWO
Meanwhile, back in Hastinapura, Dhritarashtra was suffering. He hardly slept and when he did terrible nightmares ravaged him. One day, he sent for his brother Vidura.
The blind king said, "The people have no love left for me or my sons, or, indeed, for anyone in the palace. They speak scornfully of us. I know my princes and Pandu's are equal in your eyes. Comfort me, Vidura; give me some counsel that will benefit my sons as much as the Pandavas."
Vidura said, "To my mind it is quite clear what will help both, but I fear you will not like my advice. Bitter medicine heals the ailing system; but are you prepared to drink bitter medicine, Dhritarashtra?"
"Tell me, Vidura, I am listening. Remember it must be good for my sons and Pandu's. It must win back the people's hearts."
"You must send for the Pandavas and restore Indraprastha to them. The world will know you have repented. The Pandavas will forgive you, the people will forgive you; and, in time, their forgiveness will wash away your sin. Everyone will say that Dhritarashtra atoned for the crime Shakuni contrived.
If you do not do this, prepare for nemesis. I warned you; Narada came to say the same thing. Death stalks you even now, but you can still save yourself. Swallow the bitter medicine of repentance, Dhritarashtra; free yourself from guilt and terror. This is the only remedy for you."
The king sat silent. Encouraged that he had made some impression on his brother, Vidura continued, "The Pandavas are kshatriyas; they are men of their word. They have sworn revenge and revenge they will wreak on you and your sons. For, the truth is with them. But if you relent now and give back what you took from them by deceit, Yudhishtira will forgive everything. I know him, he is not a vengeful man; and if he forgives you, he will dissuade his brothers from seeking revenge.
This is the only way, my lord, to avert the retribution that must follow your crime, as night does the day. Otherwise, there will be no escape for Duryodhana and his brothers when the Pandavas return.
You love your son too much, Dhritarashtra and that love clouds your reason. If Duryodhana does not agree to return Indraprastha to the Pandavas, then offer Hastinapura also to Yudhishtira."
Still, Dhritarashtra was quiet. Then Vidura saw warning signs on his brother's face: his cheek twitching, the lips working. He saw the king's hands quiver and next moment, Dhritarashtra cried, "All you want is glory for Pandu's sons and what matter if mine are ruined? It is easy for you to give such lofty advice. You have no children; or you would not tell me to sacrifice my own son for the sake of my brother's boys.
I will not do it, Vidura! Duryodhana is more precious to me than Yudhishtira and nothing in heaven or earth can change that. As for your noble advice, I have had enough of it. It torments me, so your purpose is served. I called you here because I thought you could comfort me in my anguish. For in my way, I also care about Pandu's sons.
But what do I get from you? Words! Glib, cruel words that multiply my pain a hundred-fold. I cannot bear it any more!"
The king shut his ears with his hands, as if that would keep the words that had entered his heart like fire from burning him. In a rage he cried, "I have no further need of you, Vidura. Leave my city!"
Dhritarashtra rushed out of the room. Vidura sat alone briefly, then, decided he must leave Hastinapura at once. He would find the Pandavas and spend their exile with them. What could make him happier?
The same day, with a few possessions and his heart alight, he rode out of the city he had served for so long. Asking villagers, fisher-folk and gypsies which way the Pandavas had gone, he followed them. He came to the great tree beside the Ganga and forded the river. He rode on and came to the Yamuna, where he met the ferryman who had taken his nephews across. This man took Vidura over as well and pointed him after the princes. On rode Vidura, a song on his lips and feeling light as the breeze in his face, until he saw the golden Saraswati and, looming on her banks, the deep Kamyaka aranya.
Vidura entered the jungle on foot and, asking directions from rishis who meditated under the old trees, made his way to the clearing where Yudhishtira and his brothers had built their asrama.
The Pandavas sat with their brahmanas and some forest hermits, in the shade of the spreading nyagrodha. Yudhishtira saw his uncle and rose in excitement. "It is Vidura!"
Then, he was anxious. "Why has he come? Has Shakuni sent him to call us to another game of dice? Do they want to take our weapons from us now? Or has he come with a declaration of war from Duryodhana? That should make you happy, Bheema."
Then, Vidura was near and Yudhishtira ran forward and hugged his uncle. Vidura embraced his nephews. When Draupadi came out of her kutila, he stood stricken to see her: Drupada's daughter, the fire-born princess, the Pandavas' wife, empress of all Bharatavarsha, with her hair loose, no ornaments on her body and dressed like a hunter's wife.
Vidura wept. When he calmed down and they gave him water to drink, he sat with them under the shady tree and told them about his last meeting with Dhritarashtra.
"The king is like a sick man who cannot stand the sight of food. He wants no cure for his sickness. He said to me, 'I have no further need of you, Vidura. Leave my city!'"
Vidura sighed. "I was foolish to think he would listen to a voice of sanity. He has gone too far down the path of evil. Perhaps, I shouldn't have tried to make him do the right thing, but just comforted him."
The Pandavas knew Vidura's regret was genuine; he loved his brother and was protective of him. He had been Dhritarashtra's eyes and his only support since Pandu left Hastinapura. Yudhishtira consoled his uncle as best he could and Vidura spent some idyllic days with his nephews in the forest. Yet, his mind always turned back to Hastinapura and its blind king, for whom he felt deep pity.
Meanwhile, when he found he could not live without Vidura, Dhritarashtra bitterly regretted what he had said to him. The king was in agony and he knew the only person who could comfort him was his brother. Next to Duryodhana, strange to say, it was Vidura that Dhritarashtra loved; and committed though the king was to an evil course, he yearned for his brother's gentle presence. They had grown up together and despite their divergent natures, or perhaps because of them, Dhritarashtra longed for Vidura, as night longs for day, as darkness does for light.
Just a week after his brother left Hastinapura, Dhritarashtra sent Sanjaya to tell Vidura he was sorry and to bring him back. Sanjaya arrived two days later in the Kamyaka on horseback, while the Pandavas and their uncle sat at their midday meal under the nyagrodha.
Sanjaya was an honorable man and the Pandavas had known him since they first came to Hastinapura. Yudhishtira rose and received him affectionately.
"Welcome, Sanjaya! You are just in time to share our meal. Come, sit down and eat with us."
But Sanjaya was in a hurry. He said to Vidura, "My lord, the king is ailing and asks you to return to Hastinapura. He begs your forgiveness and says he cannot live without you. You are his eyes in this world and now he truly knows what it is to be blind. Will you go back with me? The king has taken to his bed in grief. I fear for his life, if you do not come at once."
Vidura had been on his guard, the moment he saw Sanjaya. He feared some new treachery from Shakuni or Duryodhana. Sanjaya's manner and his mission were so transparent Vidura quickly had tears in his eyes.
He sighed and said to Yudhishtira, "My brother is not all evil. Somewhere behind Dhritarashtra's many masks, hides a good man. His blindness has made him weak, or he would be greater than us all. That and his love for his son. Ah, if he had listened to me on the night that devil was born. If only he had killed Duryodhana before the boy grew up, so dashing, so charming and shrewd: a young man no father's heart could resist."
He shook his head and admitted wryly, "Well, perhaps Dhritarashtra was right and Duryodhana too, when they said life was less simple than what I would like it to be. Fate must have other purposes beyond the simple goodness for which I so devoutly wish. There must be deeper designs in the world than the likes of me can fathom."
Sanjaya waited for Vidura's reply. Yudhishtira asked gently, "Will you go back since the king has sent for you?"
Vidura seemed distracted for a moment. "Go back? Yes, of course I must go back. My brother is plunged in darkness and he begs me to come to him. How can I refuse? We grew up together and we are still brothers. Come, Sanjaya, let us set out. Happy as I have been with these noble sons of my Pandu, we must leave at once."
Vidura took Yudhishtira aside and said quietly to him, "He that forgives despite every suffering he endures, surely triumphs and becomes master of the world. For only he who is a master of himself can be the lord of this earth."
Vidura eyes were moist again as he embraced his nephews and blessed Draupadi when she knelt before him.
"Look after this queen, she is the rarest treasure!"
He mounted the horse Sanjaya had brought for him and rode back to Hastinapura where his heart had always been. Now, he went with no hope of convincing Dhritarashtra to return to the path of dharma. He only went home to stand by his brother, during the punishment that must follow the sin the king had encouraged.
When Vidura went back, Dhritarashtra hugged him and sobbed, "Forgive me, Vidura! Forgive me for hurting you."
Vidura put his arms around him and said, "I am here, my lord. You are my king and there is nothing to forgive. Your sons are as dear to me as Pandu's; only, the sons of Pandu seemed to be in trouble."
They held each other, with tears streaming down their faces.