APPENDIX 1
CBT Techniques
Connection is one of the keys to building our self-confidence. We must find our tribe. It is terrifying to begin with.
There is a great CBT technique I learnt that helps with this:
1. Before going to something write down out of 10 how scared you are
2. Write down out of 10 how well you will think it will go
3. Write down out of 10 how you think you will feel afterwards
After the event:
1. Write down out of 10 how you did feel during the event
2. Write down how you now feel after the event
Then look at your projected numbers on how you thought it would go and how you thought you would feel afterwards and compare them.
There is no right or wrong; it is a useful exercise that helps you in times of panic and can slowly allow your brain to see that the way you think you might feel won’t actually end up being the case
Another technique I use that you might find useful is the ten-minute rule: I tell myself I will give myself ten minutes at a place and if things haven’t calmed by then then I can leave. Alongside this, a great thing to remember is that you don’t HAVE to go to anything. Once I realise that, often I calm down and feel more relaxed about going.
APPENDIX 2
Help and Support
There are so many great charities and support networks in the UK you can turn to if you are struggling with any of the issues I have spoken about in this book. I have listed a small selection below, but there are many more available online if you can’t find what you’re looking for here:
LGBT Foundation
Provides a wide range of services to support lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people.
https://lgbt.foundation/
03453 303030
London Friend
For those in and around London, supporting the mental wellbeing of LGBT people.
https://londonfriend.org.uk/
020 7833 1674
Mermaids
Charity supporting young trans people as well as their families.
https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/
0808 801 0400
MindLine Trans+
Helpline for LGBT+ people who identify as transgender, agender, gender fluid, and non-binary. Also supports families.
https://bristolmind.org.uk/help-and-counselling/mindline-transplus/
0300 123 3393
Mind Out
LGBTQ+ mental health service.
https://www.mindout.org.uk/
01273 234839
Peter Tatchell Foundation
Foundation protecting and promoting human rights.
https://www.petertatchellfoundation.org/
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
LGBT-friendly and also LGBT-specific meetings.
https://www.slaauk.org/
Stonewall
Campaigning and lobbying group.
https://www.stonewall.org.uk/
0800 0502020
Switchboard LGBT Helpline
Mental health helpline for LBGT+ people.
https://switchboard.lgbt/help/
0300 330 0630
Terrence Higgins Trust
HIV and sexual health charity.
https://www.tht.org.uk/
0808 802 1221
Appendix
APPENDIX 1
CBT Techniques
Connection is one of the keys to building our self-confidence. We must find our tribe. It is terrifying to begin with.
There is a great CBT technique I learnt that helps with this:
1. Before going to something write down out of 10 how scared you are
2. Write down out of 10 how well you will think it will go
3. Write down out of 10 how you think you will feel afterwards
After the event:
1. Write down out of 10 how you did feel during the event
2. Write down how you now feel after the event
Then look at your projected numbers on how you thought it would go and how you thought you would feel afterwards and compare them.
There is no right or wrong; it is a useful exercise that helps you in times of panic and can slowly allow your brain to see that the way you think you might feel won’t actually end up being the case
Another technique I use that you might find useful is the ten-minute rule: I tell myself I will give myself ten minutes at a place and if things haven’t calmed by then then I can leave. Alongside this, a great thing to remember is that you don’t HAVE to go to anything. Once I realise that, often I calm down and feel more relaxed about going.
APPENDIX 2
Help and Support
There are so many great charities and support networks in the UK you can turn to if you are struggling with any of the issues I have spoken about in this book. I have listed a small selection below, but there are many more available online if you can’t find what you’re looking for here:
LGBT Foundation
Provides a wide range of services to support lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people.
https://lgbt.foundation/
03453 303030
London Friend
For those in and around London, supporting the mental wellbeing of LGBT people.
https://londonfriend.org.uk/
020 7833 1674
Mermaids
Charity supporting young trans people as well as their families.
https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/
0808 801 0400
MindLine Trans+
Helpline for LGBT+ people who identify as transgender, agender, gender fluid, and non-binary. Also supports families.
https://bristolmind.org.uk/help-and-counselling/mindline-transplus/
0300 123 3393
Mind Out
LGBTQ+ mental health service.
https://www.mindout.org.uk/
01273 234839
Peter Tatchell Foundation
Foundation protecting and promoting human rights.
https://www.petertatchellfoundation.org/
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
LGBT-friendly and also LGBT-specific meetings.
https://www.slaauk.org/
Stonewall
Campaigning and lobbying group.
https://www.stonewall.org.uk/
0800 0502020
Switchboard LGBT Helpline
Mental health helpline for LBGT+ people.
https://switchboard.lgbt/help/
0300 330 0630
Terrence Higgins Trust
HIV and sexual health charity.
https://www.tht.org.uk/
0808 802 1221