(1) Now when he entertained in his tent, Cyrus always took care that discussions would be introduced that were both very charming and also motivating toward the good. He once settled on this discussion: “Now then, men, do our companions appear to be inferior to us because they have not been educated in the same way as we, or will they not differ from us either in social intercourse or when it will be necessary to contend against the enemy?”
(2) Hystaspas said in reply, “How they will be against the enemy, I at least do not yet know. However, in their social intercourse, by the gods, some of them appear hard to please. The day before yesterday, Cyaxares sent sacrificial victims to each company, and there were three or more pieces of meat passed around for each of us. And the cook began with me as he passed it around on its first circuit. When he came in to pass it a second time, I ordered him to begin from the person who had been last and to pass it the other way. (3) Then one of the soldiers reclining at mid-circle cried out, ‘By Zeus, there is nothing equal about this, if, at least, no one ever begins with us in the middle.’ On hearing this I was annoyed that he thought he had less,14 and I called him directly to me. In this, at least, he obeyed with very good order. When the servings reached us—since, I suppose, we were the last to receive them—the smallest were left. He here clearly showed himself to be greatly troubled and said to himself, ‘O fortune, that I happened to be called here now!’
(4) “And I said, ‘Do not worry, for he will now begin with us, and you will be first and take the biggest piece.’ And at this moment the cook was passing for the third time what was left of the meat to be circulated. So he took a piece, second after me. When the third person took a piece, and it seemed that he got a piece bigger than did he himself, he put back what he had taken in order to take another. Thinking that he did not want any more meat, the cook departed, passing the tray onward before he took a different piece.15 (5) He now bore his suffering so heavily that he lost what meat he had taken. In his vexation he overturned what he still had left of the gravy, from being so startled and angry at his fortune. Now seeing this, the lieutenant who was nearest to us clapped his hands and enjoyed a laugh. I, however, pretended to cough, for neither was I myself able to suppress a laugh. Thus, Cyrus, I show you of what sort one of our companions is.” And at this, as was to be expected, they laughed.
(6) Another of the captains said, “As it seems, Cyrus, he happened upon one hard to please indeed. Yet when you dismissed us after having taught us formations and ordered that each teach his own company what we learned from you, so I too, just as the others were doing, went off and taught one platoon. And putting the lieutenant first and positioning a young man right behind him and the others as I thought I must, I then, standing at the front and looking at the platoon, ordered them to advance when I thought it time. (7) And that young man of yours went in front of the lieutenant and took the lead. And seeing him, I said, ‘Human being, what are you doing?’
“And he said, ‘I am going forward, just as you ordered.’
“And I said, ‘But I ordered all to advance, not you alone.’
“And hearing this, he turned to his platoon mates and said, ‘Do you not hear his command that we all advance?’ And all the men, passing the lieutenant by, came to me.
(8) “When the lieutenant made them go back, they bore it ill and said, ‘Who must be obeyed? Now the one orders us to advance, but the other does not allow it.’ I, however, bearing it calmly, placed them again as at first and said that no one of those in the back should move before the one ahead leads, and that all should see to this alone, to follow the one in front.
(9) “When someone going away to Persia came to me and bade me give him the letter that I had written for home, I ordered the lieutenant to run and bring the letter, for he knew where it was. So he ran, and that young man followed the lieutenant with his breastplate and sword, and all the rest of the platoon saw him and ran along. And the men came back with the letter. So accurately does my platoon, at least, execute all your [instructions],” he said.
(10) Now the others, as was to be expected, laughed at a letter having an armed escort, and Cyrus said, “O Zeus and all the gods, we have such men for companions as are so easily won by attention that it is possible to acquire very many of them as friends with even a little meat, and some are so obedient that they obey before knowing what is ordered. I do not know what sort of soldiers one should pray to have more than ones like these.”
(11) So Cyrus at the same time laughed and praised the soldiers in this manner. But there happened to be among the captains in the tent a certain Aglaitadas by name, a man who in character was among the sourest of human beings. And he spoke somewhat as follows: “Do you think, Cyrus, that they are telling the truth in what they say?”
“But what can they wish for from telling lies?” asked Cyrus.
“What else,” he said, “except that wanting to make a joke at another’s expense,16 they speak and boast as they do.”
(12) Cyrus said, “Hush.17 Do not say that they are boasters, for ‘boaster’ seems to me a name that sticks to those who pretend to be wealthier than they are, or braver [than they are], or to those who promise to do what they are not competent to do, or to those who in these matters are evidently acting for the sake of getting something and gaining. But those who contrive a laugh for their associates, not with a view to their own gain, or as a punishment of their listeners, or to any harm at all, why are these not more justly named urbane and charming rather than boasters?”
(13) Cyrus thus defended those who had furnished the laugh. The lieutenant18 who had himself narrated the jest said, “Aglaitadas, if we were trying to make you weep, just as some who in their songs and discourses compose piteous things and try to move people to tears, you would certainly blame us vehemently, for now when you yourself know that we wish to delight you, not harm you, you nevertheless hold us in great dishonor.”
(14) “Yes, by Zeus,” said Aglaitadas, “and justly, for the one who contrives a laugh for his friends seems to me often to effect things less worthy than the very one who makes them weep. And if you calculate correctly, you too will discover that I speak the truth, for fathers contrive moderation for their sons by making them weep, and teachers good learning for their students,19 and laws turn citizens to justice by making them weep. Would you be able to say that those who contrive a laugh benefit either bodies or souls, making them at all more suited for household or city?”
(15) Next Hystaspas spoke somewhat as follows: “If you obey me, Aglaitadas, you will be bold in expending this matter of such great worth on our enemies, and you will try to make them weep. But by all means lavish this matter of little worth, the laugh, on us your friends, for I know that you have a great one laid up in reserve, for you have not squandered it in using it yourself, nor do you voluntarily afford laughter to friends or strangers. There is consequently no excuse for you not to afford us a laugh.”20
And Aglaitadas said, “Do you think, Hystaspas, that you will coax a laugh out of me?”
And the captain said, “By Zeus, he is certainly senseless if he does. Since one could more easily rub fire from a stone than drag a laugh out of you.”
(16) At this the others laughed, since they knew his character, and Aglaitadas smiled. And seeing him brighten, Cyrus said, “You are unjust, captain, because you are corrupting our most serious man by persuading him to laugh, and doing so when he is such an enemy to laughter.”
(17) These things ceased at this point. Next Chrysantas spoke as follows: (18) “But my reflection, Cyrus and all of you who are present, is that some have turned out better for us, while others are deserving of less. Yet if something good comes of this, they will all think they deserve equal shares. And yet I believe that there is nothing more unequal among human beings than thinking the bad and the good to deserve equal things.”
And Cyrus said to this, “Then by the gods, men, is it best for us to announce a council to the army to decide whether, if the god grants something good from our labors, to make all share equally or, examining the deeds of each person, to assign honors to each in light of them?”
(19) “And why must you announce a discussion about this,” said Chrysantas, “and not just proclaim that this is how you are doing it? Did you not proclaim both the contests and the prizes in this manner?”
“But by Zeus,” said Cyrus, “the one is not like the other, for what they acquire while on campaign they will hold, I think, to belong to themselves in common. But the command of the army they still believe to be mine fairly, from home, so they do not believe, I think, that I am doing anything unjust when I appoint [contests and] overseers.”21
(20) “And do you really think,” asked Chrysantas, “that the assembled multitude would vote not for each person to obtain an equal share, but for the superior to get the advantage in both honors and gifts?”
“I do think so,” said Cyrus, “partly because we advise it, and partly because it is shameful to deny that he who works hardest and especially benefits the community is deserving of the greatest things.22 I think it will appear an advantage even to the worst that the good get more.”
(21) It was also for the sake of the Peers themselves that Cyrus wished this vote to take place, for he held that they too would be better if they knew that they themselves, being judged by their deeds, would obtain what they deserved. It seemed to him to be opportune to put this issue to a vote now, when the Peers had misgivings about the mob sharing equally. Those in the tent thus decided to contribute speeches about this, and they said that whoever thought he was a man ought to advocate it.
(22) One of the captains laughed and said, “But I know a man even from among the people who will recommend that there not be this indiscriminate equal sharing.”
Another asked in turn whom he meant. He answered, “He is, by Zeus, my tentmate, who craves to get more of everything.”
Another asked him, “Even of labors?”
“Indeed not, by Zeus,” he said. “But in this, at least, I have been caught lying, for of labors and other such things he gently allows whoever wishes to get more.”23
(23) “But, men,” said Cyrus, “I know that such human beings,24 like this one whom you now mention, must be expunged from the military, if indeed we need to have an army that is active and obedient, for it seems to me that the bulk of the soldiers is such as to follow where anyone leads. I think that the noble and good endeavor to lead to what is noble and good, and the vile to what is vile. (24) And often, therefore, inferior [people] get more like-minded followers than do serious ones, for since vileness makes its way through the immediate pleasures, it has them as aides in persuading many to share its view. Yet virtue, since it leads uphill, is not very clever at drawing others along immediately, especially if there also are rivals who invite them to what is downhill and soft. (25) Therefore, when some are bad only by doltishness and want of industry, I believe that they, like drones, punish their partners only by the expense [of their upkeep]. But they who are bad partners in labors, and are vehement and shameless in getting more, are also leaders to what is vile, for they are often able to show that vileness does get more. Consequently, we must completely expunge such persons [from the army]. (26) Do not, however, consider how you will again fill out your ranks with citizens, but just as you seek whatever horses may be best, not those from your fatherland,25 so also take from all [sources] such human beings as you think will most contribute to your strength and good order. This too is also evidence for me toward the good:26 Surely there could neither be a swift chariot with slow horses on it nor a just one with unjust [horses] in the yoke; nor is a household able to be well managed if it uses vile servants; in fact, it falters less even when it lacks servants than when it is confused by unjust ones. (27) Men, friends, know well,” he said, “that expunging the bad offers not only the benefit that the bad will be gone but also that, of those who remain, they who have already been filled with evil will be again cleansed of it, while the good, after seeing the bad dishonored, will cling to virtue with much greater heart.”
(28) Thus he spoke, and these things were so decided upon by all his friends, and they began to act accordingly.
After this Cyrus again began to jest, for having noted that one of the lieutenants had chosen as his guest and couchmate a man who was very hairy and very ugly, he called the lieutenant by name and spoke as follows: “Sambaulas, that youth who is reclining next to you, do you lead him around according to the Greek fashion, because he is handsome?”
“Yes, by Zeus,” said Sambaulas, “I, at least, take pleasure being together with and gazing upon him.”27
(29) When they heard this, those in the tent looked [at him]. When they saw that the man’s face was surpassing in its ugliness, all laughed. And one said, “By the gods, Sambaulas, what sort of deed has he done to have so attached you?”
(30) He said, “By Zeus, men, I will tell you. As often as I called him, whether night or day, he never gave me the excuse that he was busy, nor ever did he obey at a walk, but always running. As many times as I ordered him to do something, I never saw him doing it without sweating. He has also made all the squads of ten to be like this, not by speech, but showing them by deed how they must be.”
(31) And someone said, “And, since he is such as he is, do you not kiss him as you do your relatives?”
And to this the ugly one said, “No, by Zeus, for he is not a lover of labor. And, if he were willing to kiss me, it would suffice to take the place of all his exercises.”