Photo Essay

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1. Studies have shown that it’s harder to get mad at someone when you have pictures of them as a child. If something in this book upsets you, look at this photo. Such a sweet, innocent boy who wouldn’t be corrupted for years. Still mad at me?

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2. This is my favorite photo of my mother. She’s leaning forward on the sofa, her left hand by her ankle. Her best friend, Charo Figari, is looking at her with such affection you can feel it. My mom’s sister, Blanca, is on the ground in front of them. Also, I love the smoking. It really is the coolest, and I wish more people smoked.

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3. My dad (front row, center) aka Top Dog with the platoon he led in Vietnam. Oorah!

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4. My parents loved cruises.

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5. They made us go on a lot of them. That’s not someone I “experimented” with. That’s my cousin Brian and we’ve been happily together for forty-two years.

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6. This is Charlie. Great friend I met in college. Also was the best man at my wedding.

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7. As a comedian I feel obligated to include the worst photo I could find of myself. This was on a cruise during spring break in college. My roommates, Casey and Justin, were with me. They were also not sober here.

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8. “What?”

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9. This photo is dedicated to my Sudaca brothers and sisters. The photo was taken in Madrid at a restaurant that this lovely woman owned and operated. The food was great, but I took a photo with her because her name was Concha. Jajaja. I triple checked and even had her spell it.

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10. When I go abroad I try to blend in. Tunisia with my dad was a blast.

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11. This was my favorite dog ever. Feefo was his name, and he was a rescue, so I’m actually a really great person.

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12. This is what doing stand-up usually looks like and what I normally played to for the first twelve years: a small room with a few people and we’re all just trying to make them laugh.

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13. With my best buddy Bart Krisinger.

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14. I’ve really done it all.

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15. When my wife, Christina P., and I do a live podcast in a city we travel to, we try to dress like the locals. This was in Palm Beach, Florida, so country club douchebags it was!

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16. What 90 percent of working the road looks like.

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17. I can’t believe it either.

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