CHAPTER FIFTEEN
As much as I craved the spotlight, by 2005 I was so recognizable that occasionally it was annoying. I couldn’t go to dinner without someone bothering me. I couldn’t go to the mall or do anything without someone coming up to me for an autograph or to take a picture. But hell, I really didn’t have too much to complain about. I had been dying for this kind of attention my whole life, so I guess this is just the price you pay for celebrity. Every once in a while I wish I could put on a mask or be someone else for a day. But I’m a big guy, so it’s kind of hard for me to hide.
And then I met Jenna Jameson in June 2006.
The first time I saw one of Jenna’s movies was when I was working at Spanky’s. My reaction to her at that time was like any guy watching porn—I was just thinking like a guy with his other head.
When I was nineteen years old, I was doing some work for a company out in Vegas that was setting up booths for a convention. It turned out one of the booths was for Jenna. I saw her from far away and didn’t go up to her. But boy, I could tell she was hot.
JENNA JAMESON
Tito told me years later that he saw me there but he didn’t have the guts to come up to me. He said that we shook hands, but I don’t really remember. If we did, I wish he would have said something.
The third time I met Jenna went like this. I had been up in Big Bear, training for the second Ken Shamrock fight, when I decided to take a day off and come down to Los Angeles to watch a hockey game. My friend Chris Nagy and I were in one of the suites, watching the game, and there were several girls in there with us. We started talking to them and I mentioned that I had to go to Vegas to do some public relations for the upcoming Shamrock fight. The girls said they would be in Vegas, too, and that their friend Jenna was going as well.
“You know,” said the girl. “Jenna Jameson?”
I knew exactly who Jenna Jameson was.
One girl said, “Yeah, maybe you can come out and party with us. Jenna and her husband aren’t getting along and they may be divorcing soon.”
This was getting interesting.
JENNA JAMESON
I had been a fan of the UFC for a long time and had been to a lot of Tito’s matches. Tito was always so outspoken, but I saw something in him other than being crazy and a loudmouth. I never really thought about approaching him because, at the time, I was either married or had a boyfriend. I remember being at the Hard Rock in Vegas one time and he walked by and we locked eyes for a moment. But I didn’t go up to him because he was so goddamned intimidating. At that point, I really would not have known what to say to him.
After meeting the girls, I went back up to Big Bear and a couple of days later I was checking the friend requests on my MySpace page when I saw one from Jenna Jameson. I thought it was a joke. So I e-mailed her back and said, “This isn’t Jenna Jameson, you’re lying. E-mail me back if it’s really you.”
JENNA JAMESON
So I emailed him back and said, “Here’s my phone number. Call me and I’ll prove that I’m Jenna.”
I went out to train and when I came back there was an e-mail saying, “Yes, this is Jenna. I’ve been watching your fights for a long time. I’m going to be in Vegas to watch your match and I’d like to come to your after party.” I called and told her my after party was going to be at the club Tryst and that she should come by.
The next week I went up to Vegas for the pre-fight promotion and I saw her there with her husband. She came over and introduced herself. Man, she was hot! I was acting rather shy because that’s how I usually am when I meet a woman for the first time. She turned to her husband and said, “He’s hot!” To which he said, “Yeah, he’s your fucking type!” That’s when they were fighting. We made some conversation and then I went off to prepare for the fight with Shamrock, which was held at the Mandalay Bay.
After the fight I went to the Tryst club. I looked around and there she was. I had started drinking early and was already pretty drunk. Her security guard came over to me and told me she wanted to talk to me. I was a little nervous so I asked a couple of friends to come over with me.
JENNA JAMESON
When I showed up and had my security people go over to him, he was shocked. He was scared shitless, and I could tell that he was really shy to talk to me. So I started talking to him.
I sat down next to her. I was pretty fucked up, but I tried to play it cool. She told me that she saw my fight and wanted to come out and talk to me. We made some small talk for a while.
JENNA JAMESON
Tito sat down. He was so shy that he couldn’t even look at me. I remember kind of scaring him when I told him I was single. He looked at me and started laughing because he was so embarrassed that he really didn’t know what to say. You could tell he wanted to ask me out but he didn’t have the guts.
Then she said, “What are you doing tomorrow? I’ll be going to the Hard Rock.” I said, “Cool! I’m actually staying there. So I guess I’ll see you there.”
We exchanged cell phone numbers and I actually saw her again the next night. That was an interesting encounter.
I was still seeing Heather when I was in town, and she was with me that night. But we were not dating anymore. I spotted Jenna across the room and pointed her out to Heather, who looked pissed. She said, “So who gives a fuck! Fuck her!”
Heather was jealous. That was good. She was never a real serious thing to me. She was even less so now. When I was in Vegas we would just get together and have sex. I didn’t want a girlfriend. But I started seeing Jenna.
JENNA JAMESON
A few days after I met Tito for the first time, I met up with him at the Hard Rock. I walked in and was taken to his table. Tito wobbled over and he was a little bit messed up. He sat down next to me and all of a sudden it was a different Tito than the guy I had met a couple of nights before. Suddenly he was a lot more forward. He put his arm around me and started whispering all this crazy shit in my ear. Stuff like, “I’ve watched your movies. I’m a huge fan. I know everything about you and we should date.” He was coming on to me so strong and throwing me so much game that I was actually taken aback. I remember texting my friend at one point in the evening and telling him that Tito was really a jackass.
One night I was with Jenna and Heather walked up behind her and stuck her finger in her butt. Jenna says, “What the fuck!” and yells at her security to get “that fucking chick” out of here.
JENNA JAMESON
Suddenly this girl walks by and puts her finger down my butt crack. I have a real problem with people touching me when I don’t want to be touched. I turned around and gave her the Jameson glare. The girl says, “Oh, she’s so fine. I would fuck her.” Then my security guy grabbed her.
The security guy seemed kind of flustered. He told Jenna that the girl was actually my girlfriend, but I made it clear to her that although she was with me, she wasn’t my chick.
JENNA JAMESON
I had no idea Tito was dating anybody. Obviously, he didn’t tell me. I got up and got out of there. Tito hadn’t made a real good impression on me, and that business with his supposed girlfriend didn’t help matters. But Tito kept texting me over the next few days, saying that he wasn’t dating Heather.
The next day I told Heather that I was going to go out on a date with Jenna. Heather said, “Well, in that case, I’m never going to talk to you again.”
My response to that was, “Oh well. I don’t give a fuck.”
A week went by. I’d had my son with me for four days and he was getting ready to go home with Kristin. Things between us had gotten much better once we were separated. We were actually starting to be more like the friends we were when we first met.
After Jacob went home, I gave Jenna a call and asked her if she wanted to go to the county fair with me.
“You’re asking me to the fair?” she asked.
I said, “Yeah, it’s cool.”
“That’s so cute,” she replied. “But I can’t go. I’ve got things to do.”
JENNA JAMESON
Tito asking me to the fair got me hook, line, and sinker. I thought,Oh my God! This guy is so sweet!Instead of coming out with a line like, “Oh, I’ll take you shopping in my Rolls-Royce,” he was asking me out to the county fair.
She told me that she and some of her friends were going out in LA on Friday and that I was welcome to come along. At that point I was still a little shy around Jenna so I called my friend Rick and invited him to come with me.
JENNA JAMESON
Tito walked into my room. There were a lot of people there and it had turned into some kind of party. Tito went off to the bar we had set up and sat there by himself. He was so shy. And based on what I had seen of him at the Hard Rock, I realized that alcohol was not a good mix for him. I was like,Look at this guy. He’s this big guy who crushes people for a living and he’s sitting over there like a seventeen-year-old boy.
We met Jenna and her friends at the hotel Mondrian in Hollywood. I was sitting on a couch with her all evening and I kept moving closer and closer, until finally I put my arm around her.
We were having a great conversation. I couldn’t believe how smart she was. That was easily the best conversation I had ever had with a woman in my life. We started walking out at the end of the evening and she was kind of walking by herself, so I grabbed her arm and pulled her close to me.
We were pretty much together after that.
JENNA JAMESON
At one point during the evening we decided we were going to go clubbing. Tito kind of positioned himself next to me as we left the room. I thought that was cute and that it took some balls. As we were walking, he grabbed my hand. I was thinking,Oh my god! How cute is this?All that night he was so attentive; you could tell that he was really into me. At that point I was thinking I could fall in love with this guy.
Around the time Tito and I started dating, I was seen out and photographed with Dave Navarro. I really wanted to keep my personal life under wraps at that time. And Dave and I were really good friends, so he was willing to be seen in public and to give the impression that we were dating. The reason I went to such lengths to keep my relationship with Tito a secret was that I knew something was going to come of it and I didn’t want the press and paparazzi to get wind of it yet. I don’t believe Tito was aware of what I was doing at that point. Because the reality was that I was with Tito every second of the day and it was all about us. But eventually somebody photographed us and, boom, it hit the press and there was nothing I could do about it.
We didn’t have sex for about a month. But it was worth the wait. As I was getting to know her, I found her to be a very respectable girl. Which was not the impression I had of women who worked in porn.
After working at Spanky’s and being around that business, I had the impression that a porno chick is easy—you go and fuck her and it’s no big thing. But I got a totally different vibe from Jenna. I respect her a whole lot.
JENNA JAMESON
Early on in the relationship I discovered that Tito really valued me as a person. What we had went beyond just a physical relationship. It was a friendship. Once Tito and I started getting serious, we didn’t even have to say we were getting serious. We just knew it was happening.
I did have second thoughts about getting involved with Jenna. I obviously knew all about her background, so I had to ask myself what I was getting into. She explained to me that she had gotten out of the business a while ago and that the only sexual activity she had in the past three years had been with her husband. I truly believe she is done with porn. She’s a former porno star. If she were still in the business, I might not still be with her after more than a year.
And no, I never cheated on her with other women. There has been no fooling around since we got together. Zero cheating. It used to eat me up when I cheated on Kristin. It hurt so bad that I couldn’t look myself in the mirror. With Jenna I don’t have the urge to cheat. All of that has changed for me.
She’s beautiful. She has an awesome body. She’s smart. We care about each other. She’s not with me for my money. The fact is she has more money than I do. We’re kind of like a celebrity power couple and we empower each other.
KRISTIN ORTIZ
I was kind of relieved when I found out he was involved with Jenna. He was finally involved with somebody who wasn’t out for his money. She wasn’t a stripper who was trying to get knocked up and get her hands on his money.
JENNA JAMESON
Tito said he really wanted me to meet Kristin. I thought,Oh God! People automatically think I’m a monster because I’m a porn star. I don’t know if this is such a good idea.If I didn’t get along with Kristin, the mother of Tito’s child, the relationship between us would never work. But Tito told me that he had talked to Kristin about me, that we would get along really well, and that he wanted me to meet her. I didn’t really know if I wanted this to happen, and I guess I would have to say Tito kind of shoved it on me.
KRISTIN ORTIZ
I had flown to California to meet with Tito on some business matters. I was on my way over to his house when he called and asked me if I was ready to meet Jenna. When he told me she was over there now, I said, “I guess I’m going to have to be.”
JENNA JAMESON
It was kind of an awkward moment. I came down the stairs and she was sitting on the couch. I think it was more awkward for Kristin than it was for me. I think she felt that we all had to be friends no matter what because Tito loved me, he loved Kristin, and he loved his son. It was a quick hello, I shook her hand and then left. It was just an uncomfortable moment all around. But the relationship would grow and we would become good friends.
I was kind of scared about how it was all going to turn out. I had told Kristin that I was in love with Jenna and that she makes me happy. Kristin was fine with that. To be honest, she was happy that I was finally with a woman who was not after my money.
And there had been quite a few of those. I didn’t always have the best judgment when it came to women. I was out for having sex with a lot of different women and I didn’t think too far beyond that.
Jenna was a little uncomfortable at first. She had never dated anybody who had a kid with somebody else. So yeah, it was hard for her. But over time they’ve gotten to know each other and it’s become a more comfortable situation for both of them.
KRISTIN ORTIZ
I think initially she had a harder time dealing with me than I did with her. She was in a new relationship and she had to get used to the fact that Tito had a kid with somebody else and that we were still good friends and business partners.
JOYCE ROBLES
When Tito told me about Jenna, I had no idea who she was. When I found out about her background, it didn’t bother me at all. When I met her, it was easy to see why Tito was crazy about her.
KRISTIN ORTIZ
About a year after Tito and I separated, Tito’s friend Wayne told me something that made so much sense. He said Tito had always dreamed of living a normal life with the white picket fence, the wife, the kid, and the dog. With Jacob and me, he had the American dream. But the problem was that when he was in it, he couldn’t stand it. I guess, given how he grew up, it was way too normal for him. He’ll always want it, but he can’t stand living it. His idea of normal is being in the spotlight and traveling and going to parties. With Jenna he has a partner who is into doing those things.
I’m not going to lie to you and say that being with Jenna has been one easy ride. We’re great when we’re alone together. It’s how the rest of the world has reacted that has made for some interesting situations—one of which put me in direct conflict with the U. S. Marines.
I have been a supporter of our troops for a long time and became a favorite with the Marines. I was always going down to Camp Pendleton to talk to the guys, and I guess they looked up to me as this fighter and entertainer. One day I got an invite from a lieutenant in the Marine Corps Air Station in Miramar, California, to come to their annual Birthday Ball and to be one of their honorees. The guy on the phone said all I had to do was come down and speak in front of a couple of thousand people.
I said, “Awesome, I would love to do that.” He told me I could bring a guest and I let him know that I’d be bringing my girlfriend, Jenna. There was an uneasy pause at the other end of the line.
“You don’t mean your girlfriend, Jenna Jameson?”
I said yes and he told me that I couldn’t bring her. I asked why, and the lieutenant stammered and said that it was a decision by the marine higher-ups that I would not be allowed to bring her.
I said, “That’s bullshit! She’s not even in the business anymore!”
His response was that she still had something to do with that industry. I got real mad at that point. “She’s living the American Dream,” I said, “and you don’t give a shit about that? Who doesn’t watch porn? Are you guys embarrassed that one of your guys may have seen her in a porno movie before?” We went back and forth on this for a while.
Finally, I told him I couldn’t go to the event. I explained that I’m in love with this girl and I respect her one hundred percent. How could I tell her that I was not going to take her to the Marines’ Ball because the Marines didn’t want to accept her? I didn’t go.
JENNA JAMESON
Tito refusing to go without me said a lot about his character. He wanted me there with him because I was a part of his life. I think what the Marines said to Tito really shocked him. I sat down with him after he refused to go and told him I didn’t want him to feel that he had to fight for my honor. But he said that he loved me and that he would always fight for my honor. That really touched me.
The Marines realized they screwed up and tried to save face after the fact. First they tried to turn the whole thing around, saying how could they allow an Ultimate Fighter to bring his porn star girlfriend to a Marine ball. That didn’t go over so well. Then they apologized and said it wasn’t up to them and that some higher-ups had made the decision. And then they actually invited Jenna to come down to various events for the troops.
But Jenna being treated that way was a hard thing to deal with. I still support the troops and I’m convinced that if we had gone, they would have accepted Jenna for who she is.
But I won’t let anybody disrespect my woman. Not even the Marines.
Which leads me to a situation that happened in 2006 that involved Jenna and how I came close to having to hurt somebody—somebody whose name you will no doubt recognize.
Jenna and I and a couple of my friends were at Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion for this big party. There were a lot of famous people there. One of them, the rapper Too Short, had just finished performing and it was obvious that he was drunk.
After his show, he was walking around and he walked up to where Jenna and I and my friend Damian were standing. He starts rapping to her, saying stuff like, “Hey sweet thing. How you doing?” I got up in his face and said, “Yeah, dawg, that’s my lady.” But then he kept right on rapping to her.
JENNA JAMESON
That was a total nightmare. I just covered my eyes and thought,Okay, the reign of terror is about to begin.I expected punches to be thrown right away. I turned away, which has always been the signal for Tito to handle it.
I thought,I can’t believe this motherfucker is doing this right now, disrespecting Jenna and me right in front of my face. I was getting real pissed. I thought,That’s Too Short, but I don’t give a fuck because that’s my lady. So I got in his face again and said, “Excuse me, but that’s my girl.” He just said, “Hey, chill, man, chill,” and he started rapping to her again. Now I was getting really angry.
I turned to my friend Damian and said, “You’d better stop this fucking shit or I’m going to stomp a fucking hole in his face!” Jenna heard all this going down and kept saying, “Stop! Stop! Stop!”
But it was too late.
Damian, who is a pretty big guy, went over to Too Short and told him, “You’d better walk away right now or you’re going to get a hole stomped in your face.” Too Short said “What?” Damian turned to me and said, “Tito, I’ll slap his ass for you.” I didn’t want to get kicked out of the Playboy Mansion and not be able to come back, so I cooled down.
But I think Too Short got the message because he turned around and walked away. But my thing with Too Short wasn’t over.
Two weeks later I was in Vegas, taking part in a UFC event. I was taking a picture with a fan and Too Short walked right by me and said, “Hey, Tito, what’s up?” I told him to hold up a minute and asked if he remembered seeing me at the Playboy Mansion the other night. He said, “Not really, but I was kind of fucked up.” So I told him, “I like you. You’re an awesome artist, but you were being disrespectful to my girl. You were hitting on her right in front of me. I think you need to apologize to her right now.” He said, “Man, I’m sorry. I apologize. I was drunk.” I walked him over to where Jenna was standing and he apologized to her.
After he left, Jenna looked at me and smiled. She said, “Nobody has ever done that for me.”
JENNA JAMESON
I remembered telling Tito when we first started going out that he was going to end up getting into a lot of fights because people are always going to be disrespectful to me. But people will not be disrespectful to you.
And then there was my little run-in with the band Maroon 5.
I was in New York doing some press and Jenna told me that while I was out she had received an e-mail from the singer from the group Maroon 5, saying that he wanted to get her number and that she should give him a call. Jenna said, “You don’t have anything to worry about. I just wanted you to know.”
I said, “Cool. Give me the guy’s number.”
I called the number and got his voice mail. I said, “What’s up? This is Jenna Jameson’s boyfriend, Tito Ortiz. If you want to talk to my girlfriend, you give me a call.” I left my number and hung up. Jenna just looked at me, amazed. She said, “Are you serious? You just called him?”
I told her nobody is punking me. It just isn’t happening.
The next day Jenna got a call from the band’s manager, who bent over backward trying to smooth over the situation. He said that was not the intention of the call and that the band wanted her to appear in one of their videos. We both knew what he was saying was crap.
But Jenna realized at that moment that I loved her that much and that I would fight for her.
JENNA JAMESON
Then there was the night I was out and Tito was working. Criss Angel came up and started hitting on me. He was like, “Hey, baby, want to go for a ride in my Lamborghini?” I said I had my own Lamborghini and I walked away. Later that night, he found out that I was dating Tito and he came over to me and apologized. He said, “Please tell Tito that I didn’t mean to hit on you and that I didn’t realize that you and he were together.” He was really groveling. He ended up calling Tito and leaving a message apologizing and asking for forgiveness. People are so intimidated by him and he’s real good about keeping the wolves away from my door.
It was inevitable that I would eventually run into Jenna’s ex-husband. That came about when Jenna and I went to the Adult Video News Convention in Las Vegas. Everybody knew that Jenna’s ex was going to be there and the press immediately started predicting that he and I would get into it and that there would be this big violent brawl.
When we got there, I found out that Jenna’s ex had actually hired security because he wanted to look like a bad dude when he walked into the convention hall. But that was his own doing. I don’t think he was doing that because of me. There was no way I was going to beat him down.
JENNA JAMESON
I made sure Tito was with me at the convention. He’s in my life and I wanted him to be there. But there was no reason for Tito and my ex-husband to come in contact. I never wanted Tito to have to deal with my ex-husband. So while we were in the convention hall, I made sure to steer Tito as far away from him as possible. It was all such a ridiculous drama, but I really didn’t want them to meet.
We did meet up later that night at a nightclub and we shook hands. We had no hostility toward each other. I sensed that he respected me and the kind of person I am, but the thing at the AVN convention was merely a matter of two guys sizing each other up. No lines were crossed, so there was no reason for me to get into it with him.
Being around Jenna and being in a long-term relationship with Kristin has caused me to think about my relationships with women over the years. I could never be without a woman in the past because I was always in dire need of someone to take care of me. But in past relationships I’ve always had this need to see if the grass was greener on the other side; even when I’ve been with women who didn’t mean more to me than sex.
I’ve been lucky with two women. Kristin was never with me for my money. She loved me and took care of me. She was not in love with Tito Ortiz the fighter. She was in love with Jacob, who was a good kid and who was going to grow up and be a high school teacher. Jenna is the same way. She could care less about how much money I have and because of her I’ve stopped looking elsewhere.
Like a lot of stuff, my dealings with women stem from the abandonment issues I have because of the way my parents treated me when I was growing up. It took me years to come to grips with that stuff, and Jenna’s been real helpful with that.
JENNA JAMESON
At the year mark in the relationship is when the challenges begin, and we’ve had a few bumps in the road. Tito is a very jealous guy. He wants to be number one at all times, and sometimes I think he needs to be reminded of that. There have been times when he felt that I was paying too much attention to somebody that I shouldn’t have been paying attention to. That’s been a constant. Tito’s a sensitive guy and sometimes I don’t take his feelings into consideration. He’s had to remind me that now it’s Jenna’s and Tito’s world and not just Jenna’s world.
For the past ten years I’ve had this recurring dream about waking up in a house and not knowing where I am. I would go to an old house that I used to live in and somebody else would be living there. One day I was talking to Jenna about the dream and she just came out and said, “You have abandonment issues.” The problem isn’t completely solved, but knowing why I behave the way I do has been half the battle for me.
Jenna spends a lot of time at my house but she has her own place as well. You won’t see any paparazzi hanging around my place. I have no problem with them because they’re intimidated by me. Because they don’t know me and can only judge me by my image, they think I’m a loose cannon.
There are always a few paparazzi hanging out at Jenna’s house. But when I show up they leave. When we go out, it’s even crazier. They’ll come up and snap a few shots, which is okay with me. But if they get too close, I’ll give them a look and they’ll just step back. Some of them are okay, but a lot of them are just a little too pushy.
When we go downtown to a restaurant or someplace public, it can get a little crazy. I’m kind of the alpha male dog in the room with a bunch of mutts. When I walk into a room with Jenna, people look at her, then they look at me and turn away.
But the real people, the people who are not somehow connected to the business, they’re the funniest of all. They’ll come up to me and ask if it’s okay if they take a picture with Jenna. I think a lot of them assume I’m her bodyguard. When it comes to things like autographs, it’s the other way around. I get the autograph requests more than Jenna because a lot of them feel that she will be offended if they bother her. But they will go up to Jenna and ask her permission for them to take a picture with me.
Women come up to us all the time now because they want to have threesomes with us. And there are still women who come on to me because they think I have a lot of money and that they can get their hands on it by being close to me.
Well, that shit never worked before and it’s certainly not going to work now. It’s kind of sad. Why would I want to be with them when I’m with somebody who is beautiful and smart and is not after me for my money? You tell me.
Then there are the haters. There have been a lot of those since Jenna and I got together. We get a lot of the really nasty and hateful stuff on the Internet. When people are real mean and nasty to me, I can deal with it. But when they say things about Jenna, that bothers me a lot. All you can do is ignore that stuff. In fact, during our last contract negotiations, Dana White made some remarks about Jenna not being very bright. All I can say to that is that Dana White is one of the dumbest people I know and that Jenna is one of the smartest.
I still haven’t figured this all out yet. Being with Jenna is a whole different world for me. But I do know one thing.
And that’s that I love her with all my heart.