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JANUARY 29, 1929 It’s shocking! I’m becoming a shrew, a nag a scenemaker. I, who loathe all three. Would to God, I could suddenly become a neuter, sexless, brainless and like millions or others just occupy myself with clubs, politics, etc. etc. 4 p.m. he called up, mostly to rub my nose in things and be nasty. I’m not to see this person, not to write to that one, not to pay any money, etc. To that one! He has such a right to dictate. How we wrangle! Ugh. I must quit altogether.…
TWO DAYS LATER, DOROTHY, G.W., AND her friend Betty Chester climbed into my grandmother’s new blue Chrysler and drove south. Though Dorothy and G.W. had made a conscious decision to end their physical relationship, their emotional bond was still as strong as ever.
There was no promise of paradise in Fort Pierce, Florida, only hope. Dorothy had envisioned a scouting objective, such as the one she was about to undertake, for years, and G.W. was the only person in the world who could have escorted her there. “Clear, lovely, sunny! Early dinner at mid day. G.W., Betty and I left at 1 p.m. for Florida in blue Chrysler. Philadelphia at 6. Dinner at a terrible ‘joint’ at 7. Overnight Country Club Inn. Quaint, old fashioned and frightfully amusing rooms. Great fun, good spirits.”
The sun-drenched days buoyed her spirits and the next six weeks were a blur of activity. “Off along the Indian River by nine o’clock. Lovely drive and the two kids chortling with joy over each new orange grove or magnolia or cypress. Spanish moss in many places enchanting. All of us watched the sunrise and no one would wake the others! Out to Farm.”
No one engaged Dorothy’s innate playfulness more than G.W. The weeks sped by in a rapid succession of meeting cars and trains and waving good-byes again. It was like a revolving tropical stage setting, surrounded by citrus trees and canopied with purple clouds. “Oh, it’s heaps of fun just to be camping here and it all seems like ‘playing house.’ We have screamed with laughter at G.W.’s episode with the huge snake in his bathroom toilet. He took us up to see it and we found still another in the rafters!”
Dorothy had planned her days to the minute. On the same afternoon that G.W. left for New York, Frank Upton arrived by car. He drove the final few miles down the new Dixie Highway, and made his last turn west on to Indrio Road where Dorothy was waiting.
FEBRUARY 6, 1929 Stiff the feeling of “playing house” and we’re all gay, happy and fooling all the time! Betty and G.W. drove into town early for tickets, mail, etc. I cleaned up and did a bit of housework. Frank Upton arrived! Great fun, the two kids back and all hands went up to see Bub’s “320 acre grove.” G.W. packed a crate full of fruit. Hurried to town. Six of us lunched at Hotel. Hurried to see G.W. off on north bound train, hating to go.
Alice Binney, Mary Davey (Dorothy’s youngest sister), Junie and his nanny, Mrs. Bergquist, also arrived by rail in Fort Pierce, and when they appeared, Frank—who had beaten the train—stood beside Dorothy and greeted them. He had made a concerted effort to ingratiate himself with the Binney family and Edwin saw great potential in the celebrated young sailor.
In the three months since Frank and Dorothy had become close, she had become more and more intrigued by his unsophisticated ways. The fact that he was a member of an elite group of war heroes made him a novelty, but it was his naval background that appealed to Bub, who was currently involved in developing the harbor in Fort Pierce. Almost immediately he offered Frank a job. “Frank is so nice around the place and he already has done a hundred little things to make housekeeping here easier—paints, oils, removes rust, etc. And he adores being here, I know.”
Frank and Dorothy spent the days fishing or exploring the unspoiled inland estuaries where few tourists dared to venture. They drove to Silver Springs, taking Junie along, and swam in the clear sulphur water caves. They collected wild orchids to be transplanted later, and played with baby alligators. It was paradise. “Off for Ocala. A spirit of joy and adventure! To Silver Springs. Out in glass bottom boat till sunset; turtles, fish, caves, springs! A tame deer on the beach. Frank and I drove out to the lovely jungle setting in the moonlight. Such tranquility and peace.”
Both Dorothy and Frank reveled in the freedom and privacy of their days, however short-lived. George was planning a visit to Fort Pierce to spend time with Junie, and she was not looking forward to it.
George for his part had no idea that Upton was in Florida, and he was shocked by Frank’s presence at the Daytona train station, not to mention his wife’s brazenness in inviting him to drive her there. A fight ensued and an embarrassed Upton left the car and returned to Fort Pierce alone on a train, leaving Dorothy to deal with her husband’s volatile reaction.
FEBRUARY 25, 1929 Went to town to meet G.P. and found a wire telling me “missed train, meet me in Daytona.” And I hustled off within 20 minutes for a drive of 120 miles. Asked Frank to go along and G.P. perfectly raging. Altogether ghastly rude and embarrassing and unpleasant all round. A dismal dinner and a wild row and I drove home in the pouring rain. Such a tropic downpour as I’ve seldom seen! Home at 11:30 and Frank on the train, and walked out to Farm. Everyone ill at ease.
FEBRUARY 26, 1929 A terrible day. Town, phones, etc. Mary and Jim—family. No pleasure—no joy—nothing suits him. Sullen, sulky, critical and rude. Why oh why should we continue to go on this way all our lives? Surely there’s some pleasure, peace and joy for us somewhere. But not together.
The Putnams left Frank in Fort Pierce and drove south to Miami to visit friends and attend a prize fight. The trip only exacerbated the hostility between them. While driving over to the west coast, both silently wished to be elsewhere. When they arrived at their hotel, a telegram was waiting for George. The message took the form of an ultimatum.
MARCH 1, 1929 9 a.m. Off on the Tamaimi Trail north and westward to the Gulf. Gators and snakes and turtles. Sarasota by 4 pm… “El Verona” hotel. Ghastly scenes and the telegram episode! A personal wire from her telling him not to return because she wouldn’t be home!
George had already planned on leaving the following day, despite the telegram. “G.P. and I had lunch at Hotel with Mother and Bub before going to his train. He had an unsatisfactory and exasperating visit here; hurried, unsettled, unhappy and a constant bickering. And he says, entirely due to me. Sorry. Frank and I drove to Vero.”
Putting the embarrassing row behind them, Frank felt more at ease and back in control. He was drawn to Dorothy, who was unlike any woman he had ever known. Far from being intimidated by her academic superiority, he often joked about their differences, which dissolved once they were alone. Both realized that their mutual attraction was based on the fact that they were extreme opposites. Frank must have been in awe of her social status, wealth, and worldly ways. At the same time, Dorothy was intrigued by his untamed earthiness. She finally succumbed. “The wind rustles with palm trees, there’s a squally rain and strange night whisperings and a sound of crying in the night. Yet there’s enchantment in it all, too. Conquest.”
Frank was an overpowering figure and their lovemaking was in sharp contrast to the tender intimacies with G.W. She knew she had to look ahead, and she had found contentment here with Frank.
MARCH 11, 1929 A strange day, confused yet full of beauty, an electric something or recognition. I must learn some new music, a powerful thing or big chords yet an under harmony of pianissm. Sat on swing till nine. Oh, the delicious content of it here, so quiet and simple and easy. I hate to think or leaving. Alas, why does time fly so quickly when we’re content and drag so dismally when things go wrong?
The following day, she and Frank left Fort Pierce for the long drive back to Rye. Unaware that Frank and Dorothy were lovers, G.W. was waiting to greet her. “A red bird follows us north with his meaningful whistle! We’re off for Mt. Vernon of Colonial fame. Through Washington and Baltimore and Philadelphia and a heavy cold rain. Home at 11:15. Betty and G.W. to meet us on the road. Great cheerful adorable welcome!”
Back home, Dorothy and George stubbornly continued to blame one another for their marital problems.
APRIL 18, 1929 What’s it all about anyway! Why couldn’t it have been I that died last January, and who now was lying coldly content and at peace in a country churchyard.! I try to think or a way out, and only succeed in going round and round. He wants this; I demand that. And probably each or us is 99% unfair to the other. And I hate it all
APRIL 25, 1929 George decided to stay in town; he feels the house not worthwhile without a good cook! I would like to be the kind or person [whom] servants are fond of. They are all too few. The opposite is the kind or woman a man makes love to, but would never care to marry.
Frank and Dorothy continued their affair, despite the fact that she was uncomfortable with his domineering personality, which frightened her at times. His behavior became increasingly irrational. He insisted, “I’ll go thro’ hell for you.” He was pressuring her into a permanent relationship too quickly, she felt, and his attacks on her young son were unfair weapons: “‘He doesn’t love you anyway and if you don’t discipline him he won’t even respect you. He already considers you some kind of a convenient hack horse to wait on him.’ Frank about Junie. That sounds harsh and it has hurt me a lot. Yes, perhaps he’s right after all.…” Once again, Dorothy was plagued by indecision.
MAY 6, 1929 What an errant coward I am for I know what I want—and where—and why. Yes it seems as tho’ I can’t make the definite decision. It’s just a matter or once making up my mind, jet I’m stunned and flabby. And it is not just now, no seven years ago I tried to decide the same thing. Only now I see life and my own intimate personal happiness flitting by. Soon all my youth, my absorbent years will have fled.… And I shall be empty in my heart.…
With Frank away for several weeks working on a cruise ship bound for San Francisco, Dorothy accepted a present from her parents: Mugo Court. The cheerful gray stone and stucco cottage had previously housed a garage and squash court before the Binneys renovated it in 1927. It was much smaller than Rocklyn, but would provide a temporary home, for she had begun to sort through and pack up those items that were small enough to be carried out by hand.
George and Amelia spent most of May traveling together on speaking engagements while Dorothy contemplated her future. “To Sound Beach with Mother and went thro’ ‘Mugo Court’ The house has possibilities, but Oh, how I shall long for my lovely garden, here. Sorted books, putting all my special ones aside in my own bookcase. I’m sad, its like an amputation without anesthetic. Dinner entirely alone.”
Dorothy simply could not bring herself to tell G.W. about Frank Upton. He would certainly have been hurt and she did not want to lose him completely. In her diaries, she wrote continually about the trill of the thrush, whose song was a constant reminder of her true love.
MAY 11, 1929 I slept on the loggia last night. And it’s my place. I love it… And have lived on it happily 2 years! A pheasant called—quail—phoebe—ovenbird—jay—wren and Oh, the luscious alto call or the dashing old thrush or so many memories! The dogwood is too lovely! Lordy how I shall miss it! Each hour now I try to drink it in to keep, saying “Soon I shan’t have this lovely garden or my very own soul! For I am giving it up. And it’s all my own fashioning—each bulb, each fern, each plant!
A week later, on their May 19 anniversary, G.W. arrived and the two stood at the wood’s edge listening to the flutelike notes before slowly walking away. It was the last time they would be together at Rocknoll, the scene of so many blissful memories. “Drove to Hotchkiss with G.W. A lovely day and charming. Lunch at lakeside with David. Drove home with G.W. and a laughing, happy trip. Dinner. A moment on the terrace to revel in the thrushes’ evening love song. G.P. returned from Washington—flying.”
Dorothy shifted her focus from G.W. to moving out of her house as quickly as possible. She drove to Mugo Court with flowers on the seat beside her, parked the car, and walked through the back door. She placed the yellow roses on the mantle of the empty room; then, sitting alone in the corner, she stared at the blackened stone hearth. She missed her son David, back at school, and feared that the divorce would have a devastating effect on him; more so than on Junie, who was too young to comprehend their actions. And besides, he would no doubt live with his mother, while David would remain in school. “David’s birthday. He’s 16 and such a dear. Up to Sound Beach with a car load of things to put in ‘Mugo Court.’ Dinner with Mother and Bub. A long heart to heart solemn talk with the two of them. The first of all my life, I really think. And I cried all evening. Weak!”
Returning to Rocknoll in the rain, Dorothy walked directly to her piano. But she had lost the will to play. She retreated to her salon and stared out into the misty night.
MAY 21, 1929 A tear stained face and aching eyes and no sleep and exhaustion.… George sent Capt. Bill Lancaster (English RAFC) flyer. He crashed in Trinidad two months ago and is just out or the hospital. We talked quietly all evening and had a mild highball late, and then to bed. Dog tired and more uncertain than ever or my future behavior. I can’t feel for a minute that I’m not right yet my inclinations are all piling ahead. It’s useless: hopeless.
The following morning, George drove to Mugo Court and surveyed the grim scene: a vase of flowers, and books neatly packed in cardboard boxes were stacked against the walls. Floor lamps, curtains, towels, and other familiar belongings were also locked inside. He walked across the private lane and knocked on the Binneys’ door. Although he feared the worst, there was still hope that his wife was behaving irrationally. He stood before his in-laws and waited to learn the truth; their resigned faces led George to break down, weeping. “G.P. to Sound Beach where he had a bad time. Everyone apparently all upset and he developed a difficult situation.”
In the three months that follow, Dorothy’s diaries reflect a wide range of emotions as she and George prepared to part forever.
JUNE 12, 1929 A disgusting dawn when I couldn’t resist making a pointed remark about his lady love! God knows he’s often made beastly insinuations about all the men I like! Row, the first in weeks. For both or us are being icily polite and “careful.”… David home from school! Hooray!
JUNE 13, 1929 What do I want? What is there in life or permanent value? What really counts? Am I resenting age and change, or am I meeting it becomingly? A year ago I had to go to dances every week or felt wretchingly sulky and “lost.” So far I’ve not been this summer, don’t even know when they are! Always, too, after dancing late, I’m wakeful and miserable and on edge with resentment. Why? Sex? Passion? I don’t know!
JUNE 24, 1929 I suspect G.P. occasionally looks into this diary! He must have done so to say the things he did this morning! He’s fed up, cured, isn’t in love with me anymore and is eager, now, for me to go ahead and get a divorce. Odd. He’s got over being in love with me as he called it in about two weeks.