PART THREE
8
WHEN WAS THE last time you got a good night’s sleep? For busy parents who may be sleep-deprived themselves, this can be a tough question to answer—and may even feel like a luxury! But when it comes to your children, you probably don’t take these disruptions as lightly. In fact, your child’s sleep routines likely carry great significance in the quality of your day-to-day life. It’s easy to see how going to bed too late, waking up too early, or missing the nap window often leads to cranky behavior and tantrums, turning sleep-deprived kids from sweet to scary in the blink of an eye.
According to Ayurveda, sleep is one of the three pillars of life essential for health and well-being. Its fundamental role within our bodies is best conveyed in direct translation from the Vedic text: “Happiness, nourishment, strength, virility, knowledge, and life itself depend on proper sleep”!
Benefits of Sleep
Establishing a regular bedtime is an important part of the Ayurvedic daily routine for all age groups to ensure health, harmony, peace, happiness, and longevity. And the benefits of healthy sleep go well beyond feeling rested, especially for children. A good night’s sleep enhances learning ability, heightens focus and attention, sharpens memory, balances emotions, and improves quality of life. When your children go to bed too late or experience disturbed sleep, it can lead to many mind-body problems including fatigue, constipation, low energy, impaired mood regulation, a lack of focus, falling asleep in the classroom, and of course, increased irritability—which, as you know, can persist for an entire day. The American Academy of Pediatrics estimates that sleep problems impact 25–50 percent of children and 40 percent of adolescents. Sleep deprivation is a public health crisis in the United States and has grave mental and physical health impacts on children and adolescents that often continue right into adulthood:
•Poor sleep in early childhood has been linked to allergic rhinitis, immunity issues, obesity, diabetes, and anxiety and depression.
•It may lead to disorders of the immune system and increase susceptibility to infections.
•It has been linked to anxiety and depression.
•It can lead to attention and behavioral issues.
•It can cause future cardiovascular risks.
•It can increase the chances of developing type 2 diabetes, obesity, and high blood pressure.
•It can worsen cognitive and academic performance and mental health.
•Sleep deprivation can cause car crashes and sports injuries in teens.
Sound Sleep
Sleep is not the same as rest—and while periods of rest are important for everyone’s health and well-being, they cannot make up for lost sleep. Rest on its own will not compensate for or prevent sleep deprivation because sleep is when both the body and the mind rest and is the time for mental digestion as well as processing of all the day’s sensory impressions. As mentioned, Ayurveda considers sleep one of the three pillars of a balanced life and, for this reason, gives much more importance to the hours your child is asleep than the hours your child is awake. From the time your child wakes up in the morning until they go to sleep at night, there is constant wear and tear on the body, mind, and senses. Sleep is the prime time for recovery and recuperation and for critical physiological processes that occur during different stages of sleep such as healing tissue injuries from the day, brain waste clearance, energy preservation, modulation of immune responses, cognition, repair of brain cells, and restoration of vitality. Most importantly, though, all of the information your child gathered throughout the day through sensory perceptions and experiences of the mind, like what they learned in school that day, as an example, is reconsolidated from the frontal cortex of the brain to long-term memory. This can only occur during the deepest state of sleep.
Bedtimes for Children
Early to bed and early to rise is the Ayurvedic mantra for maintaining good health and ensuring longevity. Your children need a lot more sleep than you do, as they are in the growing phase of their life. Activity causes depletion, and sleep facilitates nourishment and growth.
According to Ayurveda, children between three and six years old need to sleep for more than half of the full twenty-four hours in a day. The required twelve or thirteen hours don’t need to be in a single stretch at night but can instead be broken up into ten to eleven hours at night and one to two hours in an afternoon nap. It is ideal for children of all ages to go to bed by 8 p.m. and wake by 6 or 7 a.m. Children over the age of six need an average of ten to twelve hours of sleep a day. As you well know, the afternoon nap has either been shortened or completely given up at this age. Teenagers over thirteen need eight to ten hours of sleep. According to the CDC, six out of ten middle schoolers and seven out of ten high schoolers are not getting a sufficient amount of sleep.
The Ayurvedic daily routine is based on when you go to sleep—the time that determines when you wake up. Establishing earlier bedtimes for your children at every age supports a healthy mind and body. Nowadays, many children stay up late on their digital devices playing video games and chatting with friends and miss this critical window. When these patterns continue, they can create imbalances in your child’s mind and body.
Aligning with Nature’s Rhythms
Ayurveda has followed natural rhythms for prevention long before the Nobel Prize was awarded to scholars for discoveries on the molecular mechanisms of circadian rhythms in 2017. In fact, the science of Ayurveda has been at it for over five thousand years and recognizes the daily cycle of the doshas as it relates to both our own biological clock and to nature’s rhythms. This is why it’s so important to go to sleep before the pitta time of night begins at 10 p.m.—for example, so you will not have to struggle to shut down the active and sensitive state of the mind governed by the cycle of the doshas at this time. Following the same principle, the kapha time of day, between 6–10 p.m., is the preferred time to fall asleep and naturally supports the winding down of all the senses and relaxing in the evening. You will also fall asleep much easier and more quickly during this window!
Our connection with nature is vital. When you live out of sync with the rhythms and flow of nature, imbalances arise. Have you ever noticed that before the sun even rises, you start to hear the birds singing? Nature wakes up during the middle part of the vata time of the morning, 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. When the sun begins to rise, our innate nature also rises because our bodies, rhythms are connected with nature’s circadian rhythms. Children tend to naturally wake up toward the end of the vata period of the morning and the beginning of the kapha period at 6 a.m. You may notice as your children get older, this timing shifts—especially in the teenage years.
If you or your children are not in alignment with nature’s circadian rhythms, it may take a little time and conscious adjustment to bring the body’s rhythms back into balance. Remember, the waking cycle is determined by when you go to sleep. When the sun starts to go down and the moon rises, we naturally begin to settle down, just as many animals in nature do preparing for rest. Sleep allows your body to rejuvenate itself from the day, essential not only for your precious growing children but also for you to stay healthy and balanced and in alignment with nature. The kapha time of the evening, 6 p.m. to 10 p.m., carries qualities of being heavy and slow-moving; this is the time to go with nature’s flow, slow down, and settle in for the night. Since this time is governed by the energy of cohesion, it’s best to eat a lighter meal to avoid feelings of heaviness and then enjoy relaxing evening routines like reading, sharing the day’s events with family, and maybe even listening to some soft music. A relaxed mind and body can easily drift off to sleep before 10 p.m.
If someone’s bedtime routine in your home needs adjusting, the shifts should always be gradual as extreme changes can create stress on the body system. Make any necessary time shifts in thirty- to sixty-minute increments. For example, if you have a teenager who goes to bed at 11:30 p.m., move the bedtime to 11 p.m. for a couple of weeks and then adjust it again to 10:30, and so on, until you find your child is asleep no later than 10. Once your child’s sleep schedule is reset, they will naturally begin to wake up earlier.
Do your children wake up just in time to go to school and sometimes rush out of the house without even eating breakfast? This type of morning routine creates undue stress for both children and parents. Helping your children set up healthy sleep habits will get them out of bed earlier and give them time for their morning routines, prepare for school that day, have a proper breakfast, and go to school peacefully. This supports your children all day long mentally and emotionally to feel calm and balanced, be better focused on academics, and enjoy their friends and classroom activities.
Sleep and Your Child’s Dosha
You will find through your everyday experiences that your children’s sleep patterns are based on their doshic tendencies. In a recent article in Psychology Today, Ayurveda was credited as the first science to adopt “bio time” as a foundation of medicine and disease prevention and recognized for supporting sleep practices based on the doshas.[1] Following these individual guidelines can help you support and tailor healthy sleep routines based on your child’s dosha.
vata
Vata children need more sleep compared to the other doshas to avoid degeneration and depletion, though they may want to sleep less. Their sleep tends to be light, restless, and filled with dreams. Vata sleep imbalances often involve difficulty sleeping, teeth grinding, sleepwalking or talking, and waking up frequently—or waking during vata time from 2 to 6 a.m. These sleep disturbances can lead to feelings of anxiety and not being rested. To bring vata back into balance, Ayurveda recommends a full-body massage with warming oils like sesame oil or applying a drop of oil on the scalp and massaging the feet before bed. Offering your child a thicker blanket, or even a weighted blanket, may help with vata imbalances.
pitta
Pitta children need consistent hours of sleep to relax and unwind because their minds are prone to intellectualization! Their sleep tends to be light, but it is easy for them to fall back to sleep if they wake up. Their mind often keeps them awake at night, which can cause difficulty sleeping, especially between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. when sleep is essential to “digest” the day and effect cellular repair. Pitta imbalances can leave them feeling angry and sweaty. Their dreams tend to be vivid and involve problem-solving. To balance pitta, avoid stimulating activities at night, as well as caffeine and spicy food, and use coconut oil or another Ayurvedic cooling oil for body or foot massage. Don’t overheat these children at night with heavy covers, especially when it’s warm outside.
kapha
Kapha children experience the deepest sleep and so need less than other kids, though they may crave more. They generally do not dream and often want to take daytime naps, which should be avoided as they grow older. Kapha imbalances lead to daytime fatigue, daytime sleeping, and feeling groggy during the day. To balance kapha, encourage your child to get plenty of vigorous exercise and eat warm, light foods with spices. Vary their activities and massage them lightly with a warming oil before bed.
Insufficient sleep at night can cause many body mind problems in children including fatigue, constipation, low energy, attention issues, difficulty in mood regulation, falling asleep in the classroom, being unable to stay asleep, reduced social skills, and difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. It is not only a lack of sleep that can cause problems. It is important to note, especially for parents of adolescents who may want to sleep until noon that too much sleep can also cause issues such as extreme fatigue, slow digestion and metabolism, obesity, anxiety, and even memory issues.
Sleep Tips for Parents
Ayurveda considers sleep one of the pillars of life and ultimate rejuvenators of the mind and body, yet getting sound sleep is much neglected in the twenty-first century. Balanced health calls for maintaining equilibrium of building and burning, inputs and outputs, and activity and rest—in short, a dynamic harmony. Sleep is critical for the developing brain of your child and overall physical and mental well-being and facilitates that harmony through restoration, rest, and recuperation. Prioritizing your children’s sleep routines supports their overall continued health and well-being and sets everyone up for a good night’s sleep. Here are some sleep tips the whole family can follow!
1.Follow a routine. Do your best to ensure your children have a regular bedtime. Maintaining a set sleep schedule reminds a child’s mind-body system to stay in alignment with natural circadian rhythms.
2.Encourage your children to go to sleep early and wake up early. While this may be difficult for older children and teens who tend to stay up late studying, it’s a good habit to adopt that will also aid morning evacuation and leave time for breakfast.
3.Discourage teenagers trying to catch up on sleep from sleeping late on the weekends as this just makes them groggy during the day. It is important to note that too much sleep can also lead to extreme fatigue, slow digestion and metabolism, obesity, anxiety, and even memory issues. It’s better to wake them up early and encourage them to take a catnap during the day if they feel depleted.
4.Set up better sleep routines for your children like taking a warm bath in the evening or giving them a loving massage.
5.Establish a relaxing bedroom environment without a TV in the room! A clean, uncluttered space with dim lighting and music or mantras playing softly in the background helps promotes relaxation. Night-lights are calming for younger children.
6.Wear comfortable, breathable fabric at night.
7.Choose bedtime stories that are uplifting and help children feel secure—perhaps a story with a moral or a short children’s myth or legend! Always avoid any stimulating activities or discussions or scary stories before going to bed.
8.Avoid going to bed hungry or eating heavy meals that are difficult to digest like oily, fried, and processed foods. Drinking too much water before bedtime could mean waking up to use the bathroom; be mindful to sip water in the evening.
9.Avoid stimulating TV shows, movies, or news at least an hour before sleep.
10.Ayurveda suggests home remedies to promote sound sleep in children such as applying soothing and calming oils like Ksheerabala Thailam oil to the crown of the head and soles of the feet before bed. Wear socks to prevent slipping!
11.Offer your child an Ayurvedic sleep tonic made with whole milk and a small pinch of nutmeg (see chapter 16).
12.Breathwork and meditation enhance sleep quality. A few minutes of slow and steady Alternate Nostril Breathing or deep inhalations followed by long exhalations before bed can calm a child’s mind.
13.Soothe your children’s senses. This is the age of sensory and digital overload. You can help a child minimize and counterbalance these effects by not overdoing any sensory activities like overeating or staring at screens for too long. Take care of your child’s sensory organs with practices such as tongue cleaning, oil massage, splashing the eyes with cool water, oil pulling (see chapter 10), and applying a couple of drops of oil in the nostrils (nasya) as recommended by your Ayurvedic professional.
14.Encourage sleeping on the left side to aid digestion.
15.It is ideal for children and adults to sleep with the head toward the south or east. Avoid sleeping with the head pointing west or north.
16.Electronic devices should be turned off or put in airplane mode. Ideally, internet modems should also be switched off when your children are sleeping. Encourage children not to stay up too late doing homework; ideally, blue light and devices should be turned off after 9 p.m.
17.Good health practices like calming yoga and exercise aid sleep. A research paper published in the Archives of Diseases in Childhood reported that every hour of the day kids are inactive adds three minutes to the time it takes to fall asleep; children that exercise not only fall asleep faster, they also sleep longer.[2]
18.Exercising and playing outdoors and in nature helps children unwind and relax, and improves their quality of sleep.
Some Thoughts on Co-Sleeping
Do you have a child that wants to sleep in your bed or insists you lie with them until they fall asleep? Co-sleeping is a controversial topic in America today, adopted by some and rejected by many. The Ayurvedic perspective is to co-sleep when necessary to ensure your children feel safe and can have a good night’s sleep. Most children are fine sleeping on their own without any issues, but some feel very insecure and scared of the dark or of being alone in their room at night. You should always do your best to protect your child’s mind from frightening experiences (as we discussed earlier when we looked at perception in chapter 7), such as scary movies or spooky Halloween events, that can easily cause nightmares when children relive these memories as they often do when alone or in a dark bedroom at nighttime.
If your child is scared and unable to sleep alone, the righteous practice for you as a parent is to provide the love and support your child needs to have a healthy night’s sleep. This could mean staying with your child until they fall asleep, or maybe sleeping in your child’s room for a few nights and providing some tools to help develop the confidence and courage to sleep alone. Children love sleep rituals! Saying simple prayers before bed integrating your family’s faith practices, asking for blessings, and seeking protection and courage in whichever forms are meaningful to you are all very helpful to children, as is reassuring them these routines will impart safety and protection. You can find simple mantras you may like to recite with your children in chapter 11. If your child sleeps well on their own but wakes up because of a nightmare and is too scared to go back to sleep alone, give them a tight hug and invite them to enjoy sleeping with you that night. Children need love, support, and feelings of security and comfort to develop into healthy and stable adults.