5

LUST

1. Antony said, ‘I think that the body has a natural movement within itself, which obeys the orders of the mind, a kind of inclination of which the body’s actions are only symptoms. There is a second movement in the body, caused by eating and drinking, by which the blood is heated and excited. That is why St Paul said, ‘Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess’ (Eph. 5:18), and again the Lord commanded his disciples in the Gospel, ‘See that your hearts be not overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness’ (Luke 21:34). There is a third movement which comes from the deceit and envy of demons against those who are trying to live a good life. It is a help to know that there are three bodily inclinations – from nature, from too much food, and from the demons.’

2. Gerontius of Petra said, ‘Many people who are tempted by pleasures of the flesh do not sin with the body but lust with the mind; they keep their bodily virginity but lust in their heart. It is better then, beloved, to do what is written, “Let everyone keep a close guard upon his heart” (Prov. 4:23).’

3. Cassian said, ‘Moses the Hermit told us, “It is good not to hide our thoughts; we ought to disclose them to discreet and devout elders; but not to those who are old merely in years, for many have found final despair instead of comfort by confessing to those whom they saw to be old, but who were in fact inexperienced.” ’

4. There was once a brother who was very eager to seek goodness. Being very disturbed by the demon of lust, he came to a hermit and told him about his thoughts. The hermit was inexperienced and when he heard all this, he was shocked, and said he was a wicked brother, unworthy of his monk’s habit because he had thoughts like that. When the brother heard this, he despaired, left his cell and started on his way back to the world. But by God’s providence, Apollo met him. Seeing he was so upset and sad, he said to him, ‘Son, why are you so unhappy?’ The brother was very embarrassed, and at first said nothing. But when Apollo pressed him to say what was happening to him, he admitted everything and said, ‘It is because lustful thoughts trouble me. I confessed them to that hermit, and he says I now have no hope of salvation. So I have despaired, and am on my way back to the world.’ When Apollo heard this, he went on asking questions like a wise doctor, and gave him this counsel, ‘Do not be cast down, son, nor despair of yourself. Even at my age and with my experience of the spiritual life, I am still troubled by thoughts like yours. Do not fail now; this trouble cannot be cured by our efforts, but only by God’s mercy. Do as I say and go back to your cell.’ The brother did so. Then Apollo went to the cell of the hermit who had made the brother despair. He stood outside the cell, and prayed to the Lord with tears, saying, ‘Lord, you permit men to be tempted for their good; transfer the war that brother is suffering to this hermit: let him learn by experience in his old age what many years have not taught him, and so let him find out how to sympathize with people undergoing this kind of temptation.’ As soon as he ended his prayer he saw a black man standing by the cell firing arrows at the hermit. As though he had been wounded, the hermit began to totter and lurch like a drunken man. When he could bear it no longer, he came out of his cell, and set out on the same road by which the young man started to return to the world. Apollo understood what had happened, and went to meet him. He came up to him and said, ‘Where are you going? Why are you so upset?’ When the hermit saw that the holy Apollo understood what had happened, he was ashamed and said nothing. Apollo said to him, ‘Go back to your cell and see in others your own weakness and keep your own heart in order. For either you were ignorant of the devil in spite of your age, or you were contemptuous, and did not deserve to gain strength by struggling with the devil as all other men must. But struggle is not the right word, when you could not stand up to his attack for one day. This has happened to you because of the young monk. He came to you because he was being attacked by the common enemy of us all. You ought to have given him words of consolation to help him against the devil’s attack but instead you drove him to despair. You did not remember the wise man’s saying, which orders us to deliver the men who are drawn towards death, and not to cease to redeem men ready to be killed. You did not remember our Saviour’s parable, “You should not break the bruised reed, nor quench the smoking flax” (Matt. 12:20). No one can endure the enemy’s clever attacks, nor quench, nor control the leaping fire natural to the body, unless God’s grace preserves us in our weakness. In all our prayers we should ask for his mercy to save us, so that he may turn aside this scourge which is aimed even at you. For he makes a man to grieve, and then lifts him up to salvation; he strikes, and his hand heals; he humbles and exalts; he gives death and then life; he leads to hell and brings back from hell (1 Sam. 2:6). So Apollo prayed again, and at once the hermit was set free from his inner war. Apollo urged him to ask God to give him a wise heart, in order to know how best to speak.

5. When Cyrus of Alexandria was asked about the temptation of lust, he said, ‘If you are not tempted, you have no hope; if you are not tempted, it is because you are sinning. The man who does not fight sin at the stage of temptation is sinning already in his body. The man who is sinning in his flesh has no trouble from temptation.’

6. A hermit asked a brother, ‘Do you often talk with women?’ The brother said, ‘No.’ He went on, ‘My temptations come from paintings old and new, memories of mine which trouble me through pictures of women.’ But the hermit said to him, ‘Do not fear the dead, but flee the living; flee from consenting to sin or committing sin, and take a longer time over your prayers.’

7. Mathois used to say that a brother came and told him that the slanderer was worse than the fornicator. He replied, ‘This is a hard saying.’ Then the brother said to him, ‘What do you think about the matter?’ Mathois said, ‘Slander is bad, but it can be cured quickly; the slanderer can do penance and say “I have spoken wrongly,” and it is over. But lust is certain death.’

8. Poemen said, ‘As a bodyguard is always standing by to protect the Emperor, so the soul should always be ready to fight the demon of lust.’

9. A brother once came to Poemen and said to him, ‘What am I to do, abba? I am wretched with lust. I went to Hybistion, and he told me: “You must not let this passion live in you any longer.” ’ Poemen said to him, ‘Hybistion lives like the angels in heaven, and he does not know about these things. But you and I are full of lust. If the monk controls his stomach and his tongue, and stays in solitude, he can trust that he is not yet lost.’

10. They said of Sarah that for thirteen years she was fiercely attacked by the demon of lust. She never prayed that the battle should leave her, but she used to say only, ‘Lord, give me strength.’

11. They also said of her that the same demon of lust was once attacking her threateningly, tempting her with vain thoughts of the world. She continued in the fear of God and maintained the rigour of her fasting. Once when she climbed up on the roof to pray, the spirit of lust appeared to her in bodily form and said to her, ‘You have overcome me, Sarah.’ But she replied, ‘It is not I who have overcome you, but my Lord Christ.’

12. A brother was obsessed by lust and it was like a fire burning day and night in his heart. But he struggled on, not examining the temptation nor consenting to it. After a long time, the fire left him, extinguished by his perseverance.

13. Another brother was obsessed by lust. He got up in the night and went to tell a hermit about his temptations and the hermit consoled him. So he returned, strengthened, to his cell. But again the spirit of lust tempted him and a second time he went to the hermit. This happened several times. The hermit did not reproach him, but said these words to his profit, ‘Do not give in to the devil, and be careful about your soul. Whenever the demon troubles you, come to me, and this will rebuke him, and so he will go away. Nothing troubles the demon of lust more than laying bare his urgings. Nothing pleases him more than the concealment of the temptation.’ Eleven times the brother went to the hermit, and blamed himself for his imaginings. Then the brother said to him, ‘Of your charity, abba, say something encouraging.’ The hermit said to him, ‘Believe me, my son, if God allowed the imaginings which attack me to be passed to you, you would not be able to bear them but would be utterly destroyed.’ So by the words and deep humility of the hermit the brother found rest from the temptation to lust.

14. Another brother was attacked by lust. He began to struggle and to fast more, and for fourteen years he guarded himself against this temptation and did not give in to it. After that he went to the community and told to them all what he was suffering. A decree was made, and for a week they all fasted on his behalf, praying to God continually; and so his temptation ceased.

15. A hermit said about the temptation to lust, ‘Do you want to be saved? Go, and discipline yourself, “Seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened to you” (Matt. 7:7). In the world there are boxers who are hit hard and yet stand firm and receive crowns. Sometimes one is set upon by two at once, and their blows give him strength so that he overcomes them. Have you not seen what strength exercise brings? So stand and be strong and the Lord will defeat your enemy for you.’

16. On this same temptation, another hermit said, ‘You should be like a man walking along the street past an inn, and sniffing the smell of meat frying or roasting. Anyone who likes goes in and eats. People who do not want it, pass by and only sniff the smell. So you ought to put the smell away from you; get up and pray “Lord, Son of God, help me.” Do this against other temptations. We cannot make temptations vanish, but we can struggle against them.’ At once a light appeared in his heart.

17. Another hermit said, ‘We suffer temptation because we are careless. If we always remember that God dwells in us, we shall never bring into ourselves anything that is not his. The Lord Christ is in us and with us, and watches our life. Because we have Him within us and contemplate Him, we ought not to be idle; we should make ourselves holy as He is holy. If we stand upon a rock, the power of the wicked one will be broken. Do not be afraid of him, and he can do nothing against you. Pray with courage this psalm, “They that trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion; they that dwell in Jerusalem shall stand fast for ever” (Ps. 125:1).’

18. A brother said to a hermit, ‘If a monk falls to sin, he is punished like a person who has fallen from a higher state to a lower, and must work hard until he rises again. But he who comes from the world, is like a beginner advancing to a higher state.’ The hermit replied, ‘A monk falling into temptation is like a ruined house. If he is a serious, sober person, he can rebuild this ruin. He will find the right materials for building, and he will lay foundations, collect stone and sand, and everything else he needs, and so his building will grow rapidly higher. But the builder who did not dig or lay foundations, and has none of the right materials, will go away just hoping that some day the house will be built. If the monk falls into temptation, and turns to the Lord, he has the best materials, that is, meditation on the law of God, psalmody, work with his hands, prayer, and silence, which are the foundations of his building. A newcomer will find himself low down on the ladder of religion until he has learnt all these.’

19. A brother who was obsessed by lust went to a famous hermit and said to him, ‘Of your charity, pray for me, for I am beset by lust.’ The hermit prayed for him to the Lord. He came a second time to the hermit and said the same words, and again the hermit was careful to beseech the Lord on his behalf, and said, ‘Lord, show me why the devil is doing this work in that brother; I prayed to you, but he has not yet found peace.’ The Lord showed him what was happening to that brother. He saw the brother sitting down, and the spirit of lust near him playing with him. An angel was standing near to help him and was frowning at that brother because he did not throw himself upon God, but took pleasure in playing with his thoughts, turning towards them. The hermit realized that the chief trouble was in the brother himself. So he said to him, ‘You are toying with these thoughts.’ Then he taught him how to reject thoughts like these. The brother’s soul revived under the hermit’s teaching and prayer, and he found rest from his temptation.

20. Once the disciple of a great hermit was tempted by lust. When the hermit saw him struggling, he said, ‘Shall I ask the Lord to release you from your trouble?’ But he said, ‘Abba, I see that although it is a painful struggle I am profiting from having to carry this burden. But ask God in your prayers, that he will give me enough patience to endure it.’ Then his abba said to him, ‘Now I know that you are far advanced, my son, and beyond me.’

21. They said of one of the hermits that he had initially gone to Scetis taking his infant son with him. The boy was brought up among the monks and did not know what women were. When he became a man, the demons showed him visions of women at night. He told his father, and wondered what they were. Once they both went into Egypt and saw women. The son said, ‘Father, there are the people who came to me during the night in Scetis.’ His father said, ‘These are monks of the world, my son. They wear one kind of dress, and monks of the desert another.’ The hermit was amazed that the demons had shown him visions of women in Scetis, and they both went straight back to their cell.

22. A brother was tested by temptation in Scetis. The enemy brought into his mind the memory of a beautiful woman which troubled him deeply. By God’s providence it chanced that a visitor came from Egypt and arrived in Scetis. When they met to talk, he told the brother that his wife was dead (she was the woman about whom the monk was tempted). When he heard the news, he put on his cloak at night and went to the place where he had heard she was buried. He dug in the place, and wiped blood from her corpse on his cloak and when he returned he kept it in his cell. When it smelt too bad, he put it in front of him and said to his temptation, ‘Look, this is what you desire. You have it now, be content.’ So he punished himself with the smell until his passions died down.

23. A man once came to Scetis wanting to be a monk. He brought with him his infant son, who had just been weaned. When the child grew to be a young man, the demons began to attack him and trouble him. He said to his father, ‘I am going back to the world, because I cannot bear these bodily passions.’ His father helped him but the young man said, ‘I cannot bear it any longer, father. Let me go back to the world.’ His father said to him, ‘Listen to me, son. Take forty loaves, and enough palm leaves for forty days’ work, and go to the inner desert; stay there forty days and God’s will be done.’ He obeyed his father and went into the desert and remained there, making plaits from the dry palm leaves and eating dry bread. After he had been there twenty days he saw a demon coming to attack him. The devil came to him like a black woman, evil-smelling and ugly. He could not bear her smell and thrust her from him. She said to him: ‘I am she who seems sweet in the hearts of men. But because of your obedience and travail, God has not let me seduce you, but has shown you my ugliness.’ He got up and thanked God, and came to his father, and said, ‘Now I do not want to go to the world, father. I have seen the devil’s work, and his foulness.’ But his father knew what had happened, and said, ‘If you had stayed there forty days, and done all that I told you, you would have seen still greater things.’

24. A hermit was once living far out in the desert. A woman of his family wanted to see him after many years; she found out where he was and took the road to the desert. She joined some camel-drivers and went with them into the desert, for she was being drawn there by the devil. When she reached the hermit’s door, she knocked, saying who she was. ‘I am your kin,’ and she stayed with him. But another monk was living nearer to Egypt.

He was filling his jug with water at supper time. Suddenly the jug was upset, and the water spilt. By God’s inspiration he said to himself, ‘I will go to the desert, and tell the others what happened to this water.’ He got up and went. At evening he slept in a pagan temple by the roadside, and during the night he heard demons saying, ‘Tonight we have driven that monk to lust.’ When he heard this, he was grieved and he went to the hermit, and found him sad, and said to him, ‘What am I to do, abba? I filled my jug with water and at supper time it was spilt.’ The hermit said to him, ‘You have come to ask me why your jug was upset. But what am I to do? Last night I fell into lusting.’ He replied, ‘I knew that.’ The hermit said, ‘How did you know?’ He replied, ‘I was sleeping in a temple, and I heard demons talking about you.’ The hermit said, ‘Look here, I am going back to the world.’ But he begged him not to saying, ‘Don’t go, abba, stay here in your cell but send that woman away. This has happened because the enemy attacked you.’ When the hermit heard this, he made his way of life more penitential and sorrowful, until he returned to his earlier state.

25. A hermit said, ‘Chastity is born of tranquillity, and silence, and inner prayer.’

26. A brother asked a hermit, ‘If a man happens to fall into temptation, what becomes of those who are caused to stumble by it?’ The hermit told him this story. ‘In a monastery in Egypt there was a deacon. An official, persecuted by a judge, came there with all his family. By the devil’s instigation, that deacon lay with the official’s wife and all the brothers were shocked. But he went to a hermit, and told him what had happened. Now the hermit had a secret inner room to his cell. When the deacon saw this, he said, “Bury me alive here, and do not let anyone know.” He hid in that inner room, and there did true penance. A long time after, it happened that the Nile failed to flood. When they were all saying litanies, it was revealed to one of those holy men that unless the deacon who had hidden with such and such a monk, should return, the water would not rise. When they heard this, they marvelled, and came and hurriedly brought him out of his hiding place. He prayed, and the water rose. The men who had before been shocked by him, were now edified by his penitence and glorified God.’

27. Two brothers went to a town to sell what they had made. In the town they separated, and one of them fell into fornication. Afterwards the other brother said, ‘Let us go back to our cell, brother.’ But he replied, ‘I’m not coming.’ The other asked him, ‘Why, brother?’ He replied, ‘Because when you left me, I was tempted, and was guilty of fornication.’ The other, wanting to help him, said, ‘The same thing happened to me; after I left you, I also fell into fornication. Let us go together, and do penance with all our might, and God will pardon us sinners.’ When they returned to their cell, they told the brothers what had happened to them, and were told what penance they should do. But the one did penance not for himself, but for the other, as though he himself had sinned. God, seeing his earnestness and his charity, revealed to one of the elders, a few days later, that he had forgiven the fornicator because of the charity of the brother who had not sinned. Truly, this was to lay down his soul for his brother.

28. Once a brother came to a hermit and said, ‘My brother keeps leaving me, and goes travelling everywhere: and I am upset about it.’ The hermit said, ‘Bear it calmly, brother. God will see your earnestness and endurance and will bring him back to you. It is not possible for a man to be recalled from his purpose by harshness and severity; demon cannot drive out demon. You will bring him back to you better by kindness. That is how God acts for our good, and draws us to himself.’

He told him this story: In the Thebaid were two brothers. When one of them began to suffer lust, he said to the other: ‘I am going back to the world.’ The other wept and said, ‘I won’t let you go away, my brother, to lose your toil and your chastity.’ But he refused to listen and said, ‘I am not staying here: I am going. Either come with me, and I will return with you, or let me go, and I will remain in the world.’ The brother came and told this to a great hermit. The hermit said to him, ‘Go with him, and because of your effort, God will not let him perish.’ So he went with him to the world. When they came to a village, God looked on the efforts of him who followed his brother out of love and took away the other brother’s passion. He said to his brother, ‘Let us go back to the desert, my brother. Look, I imagine that I have already sinned with a woman and what have I got out of it?’ So they returned to their cell unharmed.

29. A brother, being tempted by a demon, went to a hermit and said, ‘Those two monks over there who live together live sinfully.’ But the hermit knew that a demon was deceiving him. So he called the brothers to him. In the evening he put out a mat for them, and covered them with a single blanket, and said, ‘They are sons of God, and holy persons.’ But he said to his disciple, ‘Shut this slandering brother up in a cell by himself; he is suffering from the passion of which he accuses them.’

30. A brother said to a hermit, ‘What am I to do, for these foul thoughts are killing me?’ The hermit said to him, ‘When a mother wants to wean her baby, she smears something bitter on her breasts: and when the infant comes as usual to suckle, he tastes the bitterness and is repelled. So you ought to put bitterness into your thought.’ The brother said to him, ‘What bitterness is this?’ The hermit said to him, ‘The thought of death and torment, which is prepared in the next world for sinners.’

31. A brother asked a hermit about thoughts of this kind. The hermit said, ‘I have never been tempted by that.’ The brother was scandalized by him, and went to a second hermit and said, ‘Look here, that hermit said this to me and I am shocked, because it is unnatural.’ He said to him, ‘The meaning of the words of that man of God isn’t on the surface. Go and apologize to him and he will show you the power in his words.’ So the brother went to the hermit, and apologized to him. He said, ‘Forgive me, abba, I was a fool, and did not say goodbye to you when I left. I beg you, explain to me how it is that you are not troubled by lust.’ He said to him, ‘The reason is this: ever since I became a monk, I have never taken my fill of bread, or water, or sleep, and because I am tormented by desire for food, I cannot feel the pricks of lust.’ So the brother went away, having profited by the words of the hermit.

32. A brother asked a hermit, ‘What can I do? My mind is always thinking about fornication; and does not let me rest even for an hour, and my heart is suffering.’ So the hermit said to him, ‘When the demons sow thoughts in your heart, and you feel this, don’t listen to your heart, for that is the demons’ suggestion. Though the demons are careful to send thoughts to you, they do not force you to accept them. It is up to you to receive or reject them. Do you know what the Midianites did? They decked their daughters, and set them where the Israelites could see them: but they did not force them to intermingle; it was as each one wished. Others were wrathful and uttered threats, and avenged the act of whoredom with the death of those who had dared do it. This is what should be done with the lust that rises in us.’ But the brother replied, ‘What am I to do, if I am weak, and this passion masters me?’ The hermit said, ‘This is the way to be strong: when temptations start to speak in your mind do not answer them but get up, pray, do penance, and say “Son of God, have mercy upon me.” ’ But the brother said, ‘Look here, abba, I meditate on such words, but they do not help me to be penitent, for I do not know the meaning of the words on which I am meditating.’ The hermit said, ‘Well, go on meditating. I have heard that Poemen and other monks said that a snake-charmer does not know the meaning of his words: but the snake hears them, and knows their meaning, and obeys the charmer and lies down. So though we do not know the meaning of the words, the demons hear, and are afraid and flee.’

33. A hermit used to say, ‘A lustful thought is brittle like papyrus. When it is thrust at us, if we do not accept it but throw it away it breaks easily. If it allures us and we keep playing with it, it becomes as difficult to break as iron. We need discernment to know that those who consent lose hope of salvation and for those who do not consent, a crown is made ready.’

34. Two brothers who were attacked by lust went away and married wives. Afterwards they said to each other, ‘What have we done? We have ceased to live like angels and have lost purity, and later on we will come to fire and torment. Let us go back to the desert, and do penance for our fault.’ They went to the desert, and asked the fathers to accept them, and confessed what they had done. The monks shut them up for a whole year, and gave them each an equal amount of bread and water. Now they were alike in appearance and at the end of the year’s penance, they came out. The fathers saw that one looked pale and melancholy, the other strong and bright. They were astonished, for they had been given the same quantity of food and drink. They said to the man who was sad and troubled, ‘What did you think about while you were in that cell?’ He said, ‘I was thinking about the punishment I shall incur for the evil I have done; I was so afraid that my bones cleaved to my flesh.’ Then they asked the other, ‘What were you thinking while you were in the cell?’ He said, ‘I was thanking God that he has saved me from pollution in this world and punishment in the next, and has called me back to live here like the angels and I thought continually on my God and was glad.’ The monks said, ‘The penitence of both men is equal before God.’

35. In Scetis there was a hermit who became gravely ill, and was nursed by the brothers. When the hermit saw how much they did for him, he said, ‘I’d better go to Egypt, and then I shan’t be a trouble to these brothers.’ Moses said to him, ‘Don’t go; you will fall into lust.’ Now the hermit was vexed by this and said, ‘My body is dead. How can you say that to me?’ So he got up and went to Egypt. When the inhabitants in Egypt heard that he had arrived, they brought him many gifts. A pious maiden came to him, wishing to minister to him because he was ill. After a short time he recovered somewhat from the illness which had gripped him, and he lay with her, and she conceived. When her neighbours asked her who the father was, she said, ‘This hermit,’ but they did not believe her. Then the hermit said, ‘Yes, I am the father. Keep the baby for me when it is born.’ When the baby had been weaned, the hermit carried it on his shoulders, and arrived at Scetis on a feast day; he went into church in front of all the brothers. When they saw him, they wept. He said to them, ‘Do you see this baby? He is the child of disobedience. Beware, my brothers, remember what I have done though I am old, and pray for me.’ Going to his cell, he returned to his earlier way of life.

36. A brother was sorely tempted by the demon of fornication. Four demons appeared before him like beautiful women, and attacked him continuously for forty days. He fought like a man, and was not overcome. Seeing how good a fight he put up, God gave him grace not to suffer the sting of bodily passion ever again.

37. In lower Egypt there was a very famous hermit, who lived alone in his cell. It happened that by Satan’s wiles a harlot heard of him, and said to the young men, ‘What will you give me, if I seduce that hermit?’ They agreed to give her a present. In the evening she came to his cell pretending she had lost her way. When she knocked at his door, he came out and seeing her, he was troubled, and said, ‘What have you come here for?’ She pretended to weep, and said, ‘I’ve lost my way.’ He felt truly sorry for her, and led her into the little courtyard, and went himself to the inner room of his cell and shut the door. She cried aloud, ‘Abba, the beasts will eat me here.’ Again he was anxious, and afraid of the judgement of God and he said to himself, ‘Why has God’s wrath come on me like this?’ He opened his door and brought her inside. Then the devil began to goad his heart to desire her. He knew that it was the devil’s goading, and said silently, ‘The ways of the enemy are darkness, but the Son of God is light.’ He got up and lit the lamp. When he began to burn with desire, he said, ‘People who do things like this go into torment. Test yourself, and see whether you can bear a fire which is everlasting.’ Then he put his finger in the flame of the lamp and he burnt it, but he did not notice the pain because of the fire of passion within him. So, until the dawn came, he burnt his fingers one after the other. The wretched woman saw what he was doing, and in terror she lay as still as a stone. At dawn the young men came to the monk and said, ‘Did a woman come here yesterday evening?’ He said: ‘Yes, she is asleep over there.’ They went in, and found her dead. They said, ‘Abba, she is dead.’ Then he turned back the cloak that he was wearing, and showed them his hands, and said, ‘Look what that child of the devil has done to me. She has cost me every finger I possess.’ He told them what had happened, and said, ‘It is written, “Render not evil for evil” (1 Pet. 3:9).’ He prayed, and restored her to life. She was converted and lived chastely for the rest of her days.

38. A brother was assailed by lust. By chance he came to a village in Egypt, and saw the daughter of the pagan priest there, and he fell in love with her. He said to her father, ‘Give her to me to be my wife.’ He answered, ‘I cannot give her to you until I have consulted my gods.’ He went to the demon whom he served and said, ‘Here is a monk wanting to marry my daughter. Shall I give her to him?’ The demon replied, ‘Ask him if he denies his God, his baptism, and his monastic vows.’ The priest came and said to the monk, ‘If you deny your God, and your baptism, and your monastic vows I will give you my daughter.’ The monk agreed. At once he saw something like a dove fly out of his mouth and up into the sky. Then the priest went to the demon and said, ‘He has promised to do the three things you said.’ Then the devil answered, ‘Do not give your daughter to be his wife, for his God has not left him, but will still help him.’ So the priest went back and said to the monk, ‘I cannot give her to you, because your God is still helping you, and has not left you.’ When the monk heard his, he said in himself, ‘If God has shown me such kindness, though like a wretch I have denied him, and my baptism and my monastic vows, if God is so good that he still helps me though I am wicked, why am I running away from him?’ He came to his senses and went into the desert to a great hermit, and told him what had happened. The hermit said, ‘Stay with me in this cave, and fast for three weeks, and I will pray to God for you.’ The hermit worked hard on behalf of the brother and said to God, ‘I beg you, O Lord, grant me this soul, and accept its penitence.’ God heard his prayer. At the end of the first week, the hermit came to the brother and asked him, ‘Have you seen anything?’ The brother replied, ‘Yes, I saw a dove in the sky over my head.’ The hermit said, ‘Look into your heart, and pray to God earnestly.’ After the second week the hermit came again to the brother, and asked him, ‘Have you seen anything?’ He replied, ‘I have seen a dove coming down towards my head.’ Then the hermit urged him, ‘Pray, and pray seriously.’ At the end of the third week, the hermit came again and asked him, ‘Have you seen anything else?’ He replied, ‘I saw a dove and it came and sat on my head, and I stretched out my hand to catch it, and it entered my mouth.’ The hermit thanked God and said to the brother, ‘See, God has accepted your penitence. In future be careful, and on your guard.’ The brother answered, ‘I will stay with you now, until I die.’

39. One of the hermits in the Thebaid used to say that he was the son of a pagan priest, and as a little boy he had often seen his father go into the temple and sacrifice to the idol. Once, when he had crept in secretly, he had seen Satan on his throne, with his host standing round him, and one of his chief captains came and bowed before him. The devil said, ‘Where have you come from?’ He answered, ‘I was in such and such a province, and there I stirred up wars and riots, and much blood was spilt, and I have come to tell you.’ The devil asked him, ‘How long did it take you?’ He answered, ‘A month.’ Then the devil said, ‘Why on earth did you take so long over it?’ and ordered him to be beaten. Then a second came to bow before him and the devil said to him, ‘Where have you been?’ The demon replied, ‘I was in the sea, and I raised storms, and sank ships, and drowned many, and have come to tell you.’ The devil said, ‘How long did that take you?’ He answered, ‘Twenty days.’ The devil said, ‘Why ever did you take so long over this one task?’ and ordered him also to be flogged. Then a third came and bowed to him and the devil said to him, ‘What have you been up to?’ He answered, ‘I was in such and such a city: and during a wedding I stirred up quarrelling until the parties came to bloody blows, and in the end even the husband was killed, and I have come to let you know.’ The devil said, ‘How long did it take you?’ He answered, ‘Ten days.’ The devil commanded him also to be flogged because he had been idle. Another came to adore him, and he said: ‘Where have you been?’ He answered, ‘I was in the desert: and for forty years I have been attacking one monk. At last in the night I prevailed, and made him lust.’ When the devil heard this, he got up and kissed him. Taking off his own crown, he put it on his head, and made him sit with him on a throne, and said, ‘You have been brave, and done a great deed.’ When I heard and saw this, I said to myself, ‘Great indeed is the discipline of the monks.’ So it pleased God to grant me salvation: and I went out, and became a monk.

40. They said of one monk that he had lived in the world and had turned to God, but was still goaded by desire for his wife; and he told this to the monks. When they saw him to be a man of prayer and one who did more than his duty, they laid on him a course of discipline which so weakened his body that he could not even stand up. By God’s providence another monk came to visit Scetis. When he came to this man’s cell he saw it open, and he passed on, surprised that no one came to meet him. But then he thought that perhaps the brother inside was ill, and returned, and knocked on the door. After knocking, he went in, and found the monk gravely ill. He said, ‘What’s the matter, abba?’ He explained, ‘I used to live in the world, and the enemy still troubles me because of my wife. I told the monks, and they laid on me various burdens to discipline my life. In trying to carry them out obediently, I have fallen ill and yet the temptation is worse.’ When the visiting hermit heard this, he was vexed, and said, ‘These monks are powerful men, and meant well in laying these burdens upon you. But if you will listen to me who am but a child in these matters, stop all this discipline, take a little food at the proper times, recover your strength, join in the worship of God for a little, and turn your mind to the Lord. This desire is something you can’t conquer by your own efforts. The human body is like a coat. If you treat it carefully, it will last a long time. If you neglect it, it will fall to pieces.’ The sick man did as he was told, and in a few days the incitement to lust vanished.

41. A very old hermit, of saintly life, lived on a mountain near Antinoë, and helped many people towards sanctity by his teaching and example, or so I have been told by well-known monks. Because he was saintly, the devil was stirred to envy him, as he envies all men of true goodness. So the devil sent into his heart the thought that if he was really the man he wanted to be, he ought not to let others minister to his needs, but ought to be ministering to theirs or at least, if he could not minister to the needs of others, he ought to minister to his own needs. So the devil said, ‘Go to the town and sell the basket you are making, and buy what you need, and come back to your cell, and so be a burden to no one.’ Now the devil suggested this because he envied his stillness and his opportunity of leisure to hear God, and the good which he did to so many people. All round him the enemy was scurrying, hurling darts at him, trying to capture him. He assented to what he believed to be a good thought, and came down from his hermitage. Everyone admired him and recognized him when they saw him, but did not know that he was entangled in the devil’s net. After a long time he saw a woman. Because he was being careless, he was overthrown, and lay with her. Then he went into a desert place, with the devil at his heels, and fell down by a river. He thought that the enemy rejoiced at his ruin, and he wanted to despair, because he had sorely grieved the Spirit of God, and the holy angels, and the venerable fathers, many of whom had overcome the devil though they lived in towns. Because he could not become like them, he was utterly downcast; and he forgot that God is a God who gives strength to them who devoutly turn to him. Blinded, and seeing no way to cure his sin, he wanted to throw himself in the river which would have filled the enemy’s cup to overflowing. In the agony of his soul, his body began to sicken. Unless God in his mercy had helped him, he would have died impenitent, to the perfect satisfaction of the enemy. But at the last moment he came to his senses again. He resolved to inflict a severe penance upon himself, and pray to God in sorrow and grief and in this resolve he went back to his cell. He marked the door of his cell in the usual way which showed that the man inside was dead, and so he wept and prayed to God. He fasted, and watched, and became thin with his austerity and still he did not think he had made fit penance or satisfaction. When the brothers came to him to be taught, and knocked at the door, he said that he could not open it, ‘I am bound by an oath to do penance for a whole year. Pray for me.’ When they heard this, they were shocked, because they believed him to be truly honourable and great: but he found no means of explaining himself to them. For a whole year he fasted rigidly, and did penance. On Easter Eve, he took a new lamp and put it in a new pot, and covered it with a lid. At evening he stood up to pray, and said, ‘Merciful, pitying Lord, who desires that barbarians be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth, I flee to you, the Saviour of the faithful. Have mercy upon me because I moved you to anger, and pleased the enemy: I am dead, but obedient to you. Lord, you have mercy even on the wicked, even the pitiless; you commanded us to show mercy to our neighbours; therefore have mercy upon me, humbled here before you. With you nothing is impossible, for at the mouth of hell my soul was scattered like dust. Have pity on what you have made because you are good and merciful; on the day of the resurrection you will raise up even the bodies of those who are not. Hear me, O Lord, for my spirit has failed, and my soul is wretched. I have polluted my body, and now I cannot live, because I had no faith. Look at my penitence and forgive my sin, a sin that was double because I despaired. Send life into me, for I am contrite and light this lamp with your fire. So I may be able to have confidence in your mercy and forgiveness, and so keep your commandments, remain in awe of you, and serve you more faithfully than before, for the rest of the life which you have given me.’ On the night of Easter Eve he prayed like this and wept. He went to see if the lamp were lit. When he took off the lid, he saw that it was not. Again he fell on his face and besought God, ‘I know, O God, that when I lived a life of austerity for reward, I was not able to withstand, but rather chose the pleasures of the body and so I deserve the punishment of the wicked. But spare me, Lord. Here am I and again I confess my disgrace to you who are all-goodness, and in the presence of your angels, and of all just men; I would confess to all mankind, if I would not cause them thereby to stumble. Lord, have mercy upon me, and I will teach others. Lord, send life into me.’ When he had prayed three times, God heard his prayer. He looked and found the lamp burning brightly. His heart leapt with hope and happiness, and he worshipped God who had forgiven his sins, and answered his soul’s prayer. He said, ‘Thank you, O Lord, for having mercy on one who is not worthy to live in this world, and for giving me confidence by this great new sign of your power. You are merciful and spare the souls which you created.’ He was still praying like this when the dawn came and forgetting his need for food, he rejoiced in the Lord. All his life he kept that lamp alight, pouring in oil from the top to prevent it going out. So, once again, God’s Spirit dwelt within him, and he was famous among all the monks, and showed humility and joy in his praise and thanksgiving to God. A few days before his death it was revealed to him that he should pass over into life.