AS AN ATHEIST WITH SAME-SEX ATTRACTION, Rachel never thought she would end up becoming a follower of Jesus. But to her own surprise, it happened.
Her faith journey began in a philosophy class at Yale University. Her professor presented an argument for the existence of God that she rejected, but it made her wonder if there were better arguments she should consider. And so she began to research further.
Wanting to know if God was okay with same-sex unions, Rachel asked one of the few Christians she knew at Yale for some guidance. Interestingly, this girl was a lesbian and believed that God was fine with same-sex romantic relationships. She gave Rachel some material to read. Even though Rachel had no formal biblical training, she was not convinced. Looking at the biblical passages in context (as we will do below) made it very clear that God had designed sex to be experienced in the marital union of one man and one woman. Rachel knew that if she became a Christian, it meant saying no to same-sex romance.
To make a long story short, Rachel stole a copy of C. S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity from a friend, read it carefully, and became a Christian.
God began to change her life radically, but some nagging questions persisted: What should I do with my same-sex attraction? Why would God not want me to act on the desire for love? If it felt so right to be attracted to the same sex, how could it be condemned as wrong? What made it especially hard was the incessant cultural message to follow her sexual desires. She had also had a few girlfriends, so the issue was very personal for her.
Rachel quickly understood what the Bible teaches about same-sex unions, but she struggled to understand why. Yet as she wrestled with the issue more deeply, the most pressing question in her mind became Will I obey God, even if I don’t understand?
This is the heart of the issue.
Following a “Nonsensical” Law
As we saw in the last chapter, there is one good reason for following a law even if we don’t understand it: trust in the one who gave it. While it seemed that God was withholding something good from her—like with Adam and Eve in the Garden—Rachel ultimately decided that God could be trusted with her sexuality. Why? The answer is simple: Jesus. “Yes,” she said, “I could trust God because in Christ he had proven himself trustworthy.”[1] She found his love sweeter, richer, and more beautiful than anything the world has to offer.
Although it may surprise you, Rachel is now happily married to a man and is a mother. Looking back, she can see why God designed sex for marriage. Sex is what brings children into the world, and they thrive best with both a mom and a dad. And marriage is meant to depict God’s relationship with the church, which requires the difference between male and female to illustrate God’s great love for humankind.
There is much more to her story than this.[2] Yet here’s the key point I hope you take away: though they don’t get much attention from the wider culture, there are many Christians with same-sex attractions who are being faithful to the sexual ethic of Jesus, and they are experiencing rich lives. Some are living faithfully in marriage, and others are living faithfully as singles. To counter many of the false narratives in our culture, and to give people hope, their stories need to be told.
Can You Be Gay and Christian?
How we might answer this question depends on what we mean by “gay.” Let’s consider three different ways this question can be taken.
First, can a Christian experience same-sex attraction? Of course. Many Christians do. Many of my Christian friends have shared with me that this is a continuing struggle for them. Same-sex attraction doesn’t magically disappear when someone chooses to follow Jesus. As Christians, we can experience all sorts of attractions that are not in line with how God wants us to live.
Second, can a Christian commit sexual sin, including engaging in homosexual behavior, and be forgiven? Absolutely! Engaging in homosexual behavior is not the unforgivable sin. The Bible does take same-sex sexual behavior seriously, as it does all forms of sexual sin, but the Bible also says, “If we confess our sins, [Jesus] is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). In case you missed it, the word all means ALL.
Third, can a person engage in unrepentant same-sex sexual behavior and be a Christian? That’s tougher to answer. The Bible is clear that sex is meant for one man and one woman in marriage. Also, the apostle Paul places homosexual behavior in the category of sins that keep someone from inheriting the Kingdom of God (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-11). While God ultimately judges the heart, practicing homosexual behavior violates God’s desire for the Christian life. It is something God calls us away from and not toward.
What the Bible Says about Same-Sex Sexual Behavior
The Bible has much to say about homosexual behavior, but for brevity and clarity, we can ask two important questions to start us off.
What Did Jesus Think?
To understand what Scripture teaches about homosexual behavior, it is first necessary to understand God’s original blueprint for human sexuality. As we saw in the last chapter, God designed sex to be experienced only within the marital union of one man and one woman (see Genesis 1–2). When asked about the permissibility of divorce, Jesus affirmed this Creation account as the standard for human relationships (see Matthew 19:3-6). Although Jesus did not mention homosexual behavior explicitly in his teaching, he condemned all sexual behavior outside the marriage relationship (see, for example, Mark 7:21-22), which would include both heterosexual and homosexual behavior. To put it simply, Jesus believed that same-sex sexual behavior violated God’s design for sexuality.
What Did Paul Think?
The apostle Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, wrote much of the New Testament and is one of the primary sources in teaching us how to think Christianly about any issue. In Romans 1:21-27, Paul explains that just as turning to idols violates our rightful duty to worship our Creator, turning to same-sex sexual relations violates God’s natural design for the use of our bodies. Some have claimed that Paul was only condemning pederasty, a socially permissible sexual relationship between a man and a boy that was prevalent in ancient Greece. However, in this passage, Paul describes the men as performing the same kind of unnatural practice as the women, yet there was no female practice of pederasty. Thus, Paul cannot be speaking just about pederasty in Romans 1.
Others have claimed that Paul was condemning excessive lust, not loving same-sex relationships. In this passage, Paul does say that people were “consumed with passion for one another.” But he also condemns the acts themselves. Why? Because they reflect a denial of the existence of God by violating his clearly seen design for men and women (see 1:18-21). The focus of Romans 1 is not on excessive lust but on the idolatrous nature of people who have suppressed their knowledge of God, worshiping things in creation rather than the Creator and rejecting God’s natural design for sexual relations. As with Jesus, Paul points back to Creation to ground sexual morality.
Other biblical passages address homosexual behavior, such as Leviticus 18:22 and 1 Corinthians 6:9. We are just skimming the surface here. I hope you will read more on this topic so you can develop biblical convictions about God’s design for sex.[3] Nevertheless, it should be clear that a straightforward reading of the Bible reveals that God has designed sex to be between one man and one woman in marriage.
How Should We Respond?
Allow me to offer three thoughts.
[1] Rachel Gilson, Born Again this Way: Coming Out, Coming to Faith, and What Comes Next, (Epsom, Surrey, England: The Good Book Company, 2020), 25.
[2] If you want to hear more of Rachel’s story, check out my YouTube interview with her: “Christians and the LGBTQ Conversation: A Powerful Story of Redemption,” August 27, 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbO-XtchZvc.
[3] If you want more depth about God’s design for sex, check out my student book Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2020).