CHAPTER 27
AFTER this, the Lord brought to my mind the longing that I had for him before. And I saw that nothing held me back but sin. And so I looked generally upon us all, and I thought: ‘If sin had not been, we would all have been clean and like our Lord, as he made us.’
And so, in my folly, before this time I often wondered why the great foreseeing wisdom of God did not stop the start of sin, for then all would have been well, or so I thought. These sorts of thoughts were hard to be rid of, but pursuing them without reason and discretion, I found my self mourning and sorrowful.
But Jesus, who in this vision informed me of all that I need, answered by this word, saying: ‘Sin is necessary. But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.’
In this naked word ‘sin’, our Lord brought to my mind, in a general way, all that is not good and the shameful despising, the utter humiliation that he endured for us in his life and his dying; and the pains and suffering of all his creatures, spiritual and bodily for we all share in his humiliation and this will happen as we follow our master Jesus, until we are purged; that is to say, until we are fully rid of our mortal flesh and all inward affections which are not truthful and good. Such was the beholding, with all pains that ever were or ever shall be, compared to which I understood the suffering of Christ to be the most painful of all. All this was shown in a moment but then quickly passed over into comfort; for our good Lord does not wish the soul to be frightened by this terrible sight.
But all the while, I never saw sin; for I do not believe it has either manner of substance or any part of being, and is known only by the pain it causes. And as far as I can see, this pain, it must have its time; for it purges and makes us to know ourselves and to ask mercy. While the passion of our Lord is comfort to us amidst all this, and so is his blessed will. And out of the tender love that our good Lord has for all who will be saved, he is quick to offer sweet comfort, for this is his meaning: ‘It is true that sin is cause of all this pain; but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.’
These words were said so tenderly, and showed no hint of blame to me or to any who will be saved. And so it was a great unkindness for me to blame or question God over my sin, since he does not blame me for my sin.
And in these words I saw a marvellous and lofty mystery hid in God, which shall become openly known to us in heaven. And in that knowing we shall truly understand the reason why sin had to be allowed. When this is seen, we shall enjoy God endlessly.
CHAPTER 28
Thus I saw how Christ has compassion on us because of sin. And just as previously I was filled with pain and compassion at the vision of Christ’s suffering, so with this vision was I filled, in part, with compassion for all my fellow Christians; for these are his beloved people who he will save. Yet God’s servants, the holy Church, shall be shaken in sorrow, anguish and tribulation in this world, as people shake a cloth in the wind.
But our Lord answered in this manner: ‘I shall make a great thing of this in heaven, something of endless worship and everlasting joys.’ And then I saw why our Lord found joy in the tribulations of his servants, though with pity and compassion. For each person who he loves, to bring them to his bliss he lays on them something that is free of blame in his sight; yet which in the world, they are blamed for and despised, scorned, mocked and ostracised. And this he does to protect them from the temptations of pomp and vain-glory in this brief life, and to prepare their way to heaven, and raise them up into his eternal bliss. For he says: ‘I shall wholly break you of your vain affections and your vicious pride; and after that I shall gather you together again, and make you mild and meek, clean and holy, by becoming one with me.’ And then I saw that each kind of loving compassion we have for our fellow Christians, it is Christ in us. The same self-emptying that was shown in his passion was shown again here in this compassion.
There were two sorts of understanding in our Lord’s meaning. The one was the bliss that we are brought to, in which he wills that we rejoice. The other is for comfort in our pain; for he wants us to understand that one day it will all be turned to honour and profit by virtue of his suffering. He longs us to see that we do not suffer alone, but with him who we know as our ground; and that we understand his pains and humiliation to be so far beyond anything we could suffer, that it is quite beyond thought.
The beholding of this will save us from muttering and despair when we feel pain. And though we truly see that our sin deserves it, yet his love excuses us, and of his great courtesy he removes all our blame and beholds us with pity and care as innocent and charming children.
CHAPTER 29
BUT I stood beholding things in general, troubled and mourning, saying this to our Lord, meaning it and with some fear: ‘Ah! Good Lord, how can all be well, for sin has brought great hurt to your creatures?’ For I desired, as much as I dared, to speak openly about this and thereby find some peace in this matter.
Our blessed Lord answered meekly and with a lovely face, and showed that Adam’s sin was the most harmful thing ever done or which ever shall be done to the world’s end. He also showed that this sin is openly known by the holy Church on earth. Furthermore he taught me that I should behold the glorious fulfilment; for this making of amends is more pleasing and honouring to God, than ever was the sin of Adam harmful; the two cannot be compared. The meaning of our blessed Lord in this teaching, and that which we should take heed of, is this: ‘Since I have made well that which is most harmful, it is my will that you also know that I shall make well all that is less.’
CHAPTER 30
HE gave me understanding of two parts of this truth. The one part is our Saviour and our salvation. This blessed part is open and clear, fair, light and plentiful; for all humankind of good will, both now and in the future, are included in this part. This is how we are bound to God, and drawn, counselled and taught inwardly by the Holy Spirit and outwardly, through the same grace, by the holy Church. In this our Lord wills that we focus on this, enjoying him just as he enjoys us. The more plentifully we accept his joy, with due reverence and meekness, the more thanks we receive from him and the more benefit to ourselves, as we enjoy our part of our Lord, so to speak.
The other part is hidden, however, and closed off from us; by which I mean, all that is apart from our salvation. For these things belong to our Lord’s secret counsel, and it belongs to the royal lordship of God to keep his privy counsel in peace, and it belongs to his obedient and reverent servant, not to have full knowledge of his counsel. Our Lord has pity and compassion on us because some creatures make themselves so busy in these matters; and I am sure if we knew how much we would please him and ease ourselves by leaving such things alone, we would. The saints that are in heaven, they desire to know nothing but that which our Lord wills to show them. Their love and desire is ruled by the will of our Lord, and our will should be like theirs. Then we shall neither will nor desire anything except the will of our Lord, as they do; for we are all one in God’s seeing.
And here I was taught that we shall trust and rejoice only in our Saviour, blessed Jesus, for all things.
CHAPTER 31
And so it was that our good Lord answered all the questions and doubts that I could make, comforting me by saying: ‘I may make all things well, I can make all things well, I will make all things well, and I shall make all things well; and you will see for yourself that all manner of things shall be well.’
When he says ‘I may’, I understand it to mean the Father; and when he says ‘I can’, I understand it to mean the Son; and when he says ‘I will’, I understand it to mean the Holy Spirit; and when he says ‘I shall’, I understand it to mean the unity of the blessed Trinity: three persons and one truth; and when he says, ‘You will see for yourself’ I understand this to mean the oneness of all humankind that shall be saved by the blessed Trinity.
In these five words God wills us to be enclosed in rest and in peace. Thus shall the spiritual thirst of Christ have an end. For this is the spiritual thirst of Christ: the love-longing that lasts, and always will, until we see that sight on Doomsday. For of those who shall be saved and shall be Christ’s joy and bliss, some are still here and some are yet to come, and so some shall be alive on that very day. Therefore this is his thirst and lovelonging, to have us altogether whole in him, and to be his happiness, this is what I see; for we are not now as fully whole in him as we shall be then.
For we know in our faith, and it was shown also in the Revelations, that Christ Jesus is both God and man. Concerning the Godhead, he is himself the highest bliss, and was from the beginning, and shall be without end. And this endless bliss can never increase in him or be diminished in him, something clearly seen in every showing; and especially in the twelfth, where he says: ‘I am that which is highest.’ And concerning Christ’s humanity, it is known in our faith, and was also shown, that he, by virtue of the Godhead, and out of his love and desire to bring us to his bliss, suffered pains and passions and died. And these are the works of Christ’s humanity which he celebrates, and which he showed in the Ninth Revelation, when he says: ‘It is a joy and bliss and an endless happiness to me that I suffered my passion for you.’ And this is the bliss of Christ’s works, and his meaning when he says in that same showing: ‘We are his bliss, his prize, his honour and his crown.’
Concerning Christ as our head, he is glorified and beyond suffering; and yet concerning his body in which all his members are knit, he is not yet fully glorified nor beyond suffering. Therefore the same desire and thirst that he had upon the cross – the desire, longing and thirst that was in him from the beginning in my view – he still has it, and will do until the time when the last soul is saved and has joined him in his bliss.
For as truly as there is pity and compassion in God’s nature, there is also thirst and longing in God’s nature. And by virtue of this longing in Christ, we in turn long for him, for without it no soul comes to heaven. And this nature of longing and thirst comes from the endless goodness of God, even as the nature of pity comes from his endless goodness. And though longing and pity are two different natures, in my view, in this stands the purpose of the spiritual thirst, which is the desire in him as long as we need it, to draw us up into his bliss. And all this was seen in the showing of compassion, for that shall cease on Doomsday.
And so it is that he has pity and compassion for us, and also a longing to have us; but his wisdom and his love do not allow the end to come until the best time.
CHAPTER 32
On one occasion, our good Lord said: ‘All things shall be well’; and another time he said: ‘You will see for yourself that all manner of things shall be well.’ And in these two sayings the soul heard different understandings.
One was that he wills us to know that he pays attention not only to noble and great things, but also to the little and small, the low and the simple; to one and to the other. And this is his meaning when he says: ‘All manner of things shall be well.’ He wills us to know that the least thing shall not be forgotten.
Another understanding is this: that we see such evil deeds being done and such harm caused, that it seems to us that it is impossible that good will ever come of it. We look around us, full of sorrow and mourning, and cannot submit to the blissful contemplation of God as we should. The reason is the use of our reason which presently is so blind, so base and so simple that we cannot appreciate the high and marvellous wisdom, the might and goodness of the blissful Trinity. And this is his meaning when he says: ‘You shall see for yourself if all manner of things shall be well.’ As if he said: ‘Take heed now faithfully and trustingly, and in the end, you shall see it truly in the fullness of joy.’
And so in the same five words previously mentioned: ‘I may make all things well,’ etc., I understand a mighty comfort in all the works of our Lord God that are yet to come. In my view, there is a deed which the blessed Trinity shall do in the last day. But when the deed shall be done and how it is done, is unknown to all creatures beneath Christ, and shall remain so until it is done. And the reason he wills us to know of this deed, is that he would have us more at ease in our souls and more set in peace in love, turning our gaze from the troubling things that might keep us back from true enjoyment of him. This is the great deed ordained of our Lord God from the beginning, treasured and hidden in his blessed breast, known only to himself, and by which he shall make all things well. For just as the blissful Trinity made all things from nothing, so the same blessed Trinity shall make well all that is not well.
I marvelled greatly at this sight and considered our faith, struck by this: our faith is grounded in God’s word, and it belongs to our faith that we believe God’s word shall be kept in all things. Now one point of our faith is that many creatures shall be condemned, whether the angels who fell out of heaven for pride, and who are now fiends; or the many on earth who die without the faith of holy Church. I refer to the heathens and to those who have received a Christian life yet live an unchristian one and so die outside love. All these shall be condemned to hell without end, as holy Church teaches me to believe. And given such things, I thought it impossible that all manner of things should be well, as our Lord showed at this time.
Concerning this, I had no other answer in the showing of our Lord God but this: ‘That which is impossible to you is not impossible to me. I shall keep my word in all things and I shall make all things well.’ Thus I was taught, by the grace of God, that I should steadfastly hold to the faith as I had previously understood it, and that I should firmly believe that all things shall be well, as our Lord showed at this time.
For this is the great deed our Lord shall do, the deed by which he shall keep his word and shall make all well that is not well. How it shall be done is not known by any creature beneath Christ, nor shall they know it until it is done. This was my understanding of our Lord’s meaning at this time.
CHAPTER 33
And yet in this I desired, as far as I dared, that I might have full sight of hell and purgatory. It was not my intention to question any matters of faith, for I steadfastly believed that hell and purgatory exist for the purpose that holy Church teaches. Rather, my intention was to see what more I could learn about my faith, and thereby live more wholly for God’s worship and to my benefit.
But for all my desire, I saw nothing of this, except as I mentioned in the first showing, where I saw the devil reproved by God and endlessly condemned. By this I understood that all creatures who are of the devil’s way in this life, and die in this state, are no more mentioned before God and his holy ones than the devil; notwithstanding the fact that they are humanity, whether Christened or not.
For though the revelation was concerned with goodness and made little mention of evil, yet I was not drawn by it away from any point of the faith that holy Church teaches me to believe. For I had sight of the passion of Christ in a number of showings - namely the first, second, fifth, and eighth – in which I had some of the sorrow of our Lady and of his true friends who saw him in pain. But I did not see anything of the Jews who put him to death, even though I knew from my faith that they were accursed and condemned without end, except those converted by grace. And I was strengthened and taught generally to keep my faith in every way, and in all I had understood before, hoping in this way that I was within the mercy and the grace of God; desiring and praying in my intention that I might continue in it until my life’s end.
It is God’s will that we have great regard for all the deeds he has done, but that we now cease from imagining what his deeds will be. Let us desire to be like our brethren the saints in heaven, who will nothing but God’s will and are well pleased both with hiding and with showing. For I truly saw in our Lord’s teaching, the more we busy ourselves with his secret counsels in this or any other matter, the farther we shall be from knowing them.
CHAPTER 34
Our Lord God showed two kinds of secrets; and one is this great secret with many details surrounding it. Concerning these secret things, he wills that we should know they are hidden until the time when he will clearly show them to us. The others are the secret things that he wills to make open and known to us; for he would have us understand that it is his will that we should know them. They are secrets to us not only because he wills they should be secrets, but they are secrets also because we are blind and ignorant. Therefore he has great pity, and wills to make them more open, to help us know him, love him and cling to him. For our courteous Lord will show us all that is expedient for us to learn and to know; along with all the preaching and teaching of holy Church. For it is his holy Church: he is the ground, the substance and the teaching. He is the teacher, he is the taught, and he is the prize for which every human soul searches. And this is made known, and shall be known, by every soul to whom the Holy Spirit declares it. And I truly hope that he will give speed to all who seek this, for they seek God.
All that I have now told you, and more that I shall tell later, is a comfort against sin. For in the third showing when I saw that God does all that is done, I saw no sin; and then I saw that all is well. But it was when God showed me sin that he said: ‘All shall be well.’
CHAPTER 35
When God Almighty had showed his goodness so generously and joyfully, I desired to find out for certain whether someone I loved would continue in good living, which I hoped by the grace of God was begun. And in this desire for a particular revelation it seemed that I hindered myself, for I was shown nothing at this time. And then I was answered in my understanding, as it were by a friendly voice: ‘Look at things generally, and behold the graciousness of the Lord God as he shows to you; for it is more honouring to God to behold him in all things than in any particular thing.’ And from this I learned that it is more honouring to God to know all things in general, rather than take pleasure in any particular thing. And if I were to respond wisely to this teaching, I would not only be glad for nothing in particular, but I should not be greatly distressed about anything, for all shall be well. For fullness of joy is to behold God in all, since by the same blessed might, wisdom and love that he made all things, he now leads them continually, and shall bring them there himself; and when it is time, we shall see it. The ground of this was shown in the first revelation and more openly in the third, where it says: ‘I saw God in a point.’
All that our Lord does is right, and that which he allows is good. And in these two is comprehended good and ill: for all that is good the Lord does, and all that is evil, the Lord permits. I do not say that any evil is good, but I say the allowance of it by our Lord God is good; whereby his goodness shall be known without end, in his marvellously meek and mild nature, by the working of mercy and grace.
Rightfulness is whenever something is so good that it cannot be better than it is. For God him self is true rightfulness and all his works are performed rightfully as they are ordained from the beginning of time by his high might, his high wisdom and his high goodness. And as he rightfully ordained matters for the best, so he works continually and leads them to the same end. Therefore he is always pleased with himself and with all his works.
And to behold this blissful harmony is most sweet to the soul that sees by grace. All the souls that shall be saved forever in heaven are made rightful in the sight of God, and by his own goodness. And we are endlessly and marvellously kept in this rightfulness, above all creatures.
Mercy is a work that comes from the goodness of God, and it shall continue to work as long as sin is allowed to pursue rightful souls. When sin is no longer allowed to pursue, however, then the working of mercy shall cease, and all will be brought to rightfulness and remain there forever.
By his permission, we fall; but we are kept in his blissful love with his might and wisdom; and by mercy and grace we are raised to many more joys. It is in rightfulness and mercy he wills to be known and loved, now and without end. And the soul that wisely beholds it in grace is well pleased with both and enjoys them endlessly.
CHAPTER 36
Our Lord God revealed that a deed will be done, and that he himself shall do it; and while I shall do nothing but sin, yet my sin shall not hinder his goodness working. And I saw that beholding this is a heavenly joy in a fearing soul whose nature through grace always desires God’s will. This deed shall be begun here, and it shall bring honour to God and generous benefit to his lovers on earth. And when we come to heaven, we shall see it in marvellous joy, and it shall continue like this until the last day; yet the honour and happiness that belongs to it shall endure before God and all his holy ones in heaven for ever. This was how the deed was seen and understood in our Lord’s meaning; and the reason why he showed it is to help us rejoice in him and in all his works.
When I saw his showing continue, I understood that it signified a great thing that was to come; something which God would himself do and a deed whose nature we have already described. He showed this most blissfully, meaning that I should receive it myself faithfully and trustingly. But what this deed should be was kept secret from me.
I saw in this that he does not wish us to fear knowing the things that he reveals; he reveals them because he wants us to know them; and by this knowing have love for him and endless pleasure and enjoyment in him. For the great love that he has for us is revealed in his honouring and helpful presence in every moment. And even those things he now keeps hidden, out of his great goodness he shows them to be withheld, willing that we believe and understand that we shall see these same things in his endless bliss.
So we rejoice in him for all that he shows and all that he hides; and if we steadily and meekly do this, we shall find great ease of mind and receive from him endless thanks. And this is the meaning of his words: that it shall be done for me, means that it shall be done for the humankind in general; that is to say, all who will be saved. It shall be honouring and marvellous and abundant and God himself shall do it; and this shall be the highest possible joy, to behold the deed that God himself shall do, while humans do nothing but sin. This is what our Lord means, as if he is saying: ‘Behold and see! Here is your reason for meekness, here is your story of love, here is your chance to be nothing, and here is the way to enjoy me. See my love for you, and enjoy it, for of all things, that pleases me the most.
And as long as we are in this life, whenever in folly we turn to the life of the wicked, our Lord God touches us tenderly and blissfully calls us, saying in our soul: ‘My dearest child, let go of all this love and turn to me. I am enough for you, so bask in your thy saviour and your salvation. This is our Lord’s working in us, and I am sure the soul that has understanding by grace shall see it and feel it. And though it is true that this deed is performed for people in general, it does not exclude the individual. For what our good Lord will do for each of his poor creatures, it is presently unknown to me. But this deed and the other previously mentioned, they are not one but two different deeds. This deed shall be done sooner, when we come into heaven; and to whom our Lord gives it, may also be known in part here on earth. But that great deed of which I spoke shall neither be known in heaven nor on earth until it is done.
Furthermore he gave special understanding and teaching of the working of miracles, in these words: ‘It is known that I have done miracles here before, many and various, high and marvellous, praiseworthy and great. And so as I have done, I do now continually, and shall do in the time that is to come.’
It is known that before miracles come sorrow, anguish and tribulation. Therefore we should be aware of the feebleness and mischief sin leads us into. It does this to humble us and make us fear God and cry for help and grace. Miracles follow, and they come from the high might, wisdom and goodness of God, showing his virtue and heavenly joy as far as is possible in this brief life. And this is done to strengthen our faith and to increase our hope, in love. And so it pleases him to be known and worshipped in miracles.
This is his meaning: he wills that we are bowed low by the sorrow and tempests that befall us, for it has always been like this before the miracle’s arrival.
CHAPTER 37
God brought to my mind that I would sin. And caught in my delight in beholding him, I did not pay attention to that showing. Yet our Lord mercifully remained, and gave me grace to attend. And this showing I took to be for myself; but in the gracious comfort that followed, as you shall see, I was taught to take it also for all my fellow Christians; for everyone and not just myself. So although our Lord showed me that I would sin, by me alone I understood everyone.
And there developed in me a quiet fear. And to this our Lord answered: ‘I keep you secure.’ This word was said with more love, security and spiritual keeping than I can ever tell. For just as it was shown that I would sin, so was the comfort also shown: security and safe keeping for all my fellow Christians.
What can make me love my fellow Christians more than to see in God that he loves all that shall be saved as though they were all one soul? For in every soul that shall be saved is a godly will that never assented to sin, nor ever shall. Just as there is a beastly will in the lower part that can will no good, so there is a godly will in the higher part, whose will is so good that it can never will evil, but only good. And therefore we are those who he loves and we endlessly do that which pleases him.
This our Lord revealed in showing the wholeness of love that we stand in, in his sight. Yes, that he loves us as much now while we are here, as he shall do when we are there before his blessed face. It is only our failing love which causes us grief.
CHAPTER 38
God also showed that sin shall be no shame to humans, but honour. For just as in the real world every sin is answered by a pain, so for every sin, the same soul is given a joy by love. Just as various sins are punished with various pains depending on their gravity, so shall they also be rewarded with various joys in heaven depending on the pain and sorrow experienced in their soul on earth. For the soul that shall come to heaven is precious to God and the place so honouring that the goodness of God never allows any soul that shall come there to sin without rewarding them for the pain of their sin. And this is made known for eternity, as they are happily restored by an overflow of honour.
In this vision my understanding was lifted up into heaven, and then God brought merrily to my mind David and many others under the old law. And under new law, he brought to my mind first Mary Magdalene, Peter and Paul, Thomas India and Saint John of Beverley and many others. They are all known in the Church on earth by their sins, yet it is no shame to them, for everything is now turned to their honour. And in this way our courteous Lord showed how it is here partially just as it will be in heaven in fullness; for there the token of sin is transformed into honour.
And our Lord, both for our comfort and out of his familiarity, showed Saint John of Beverley in highest glory, and brought to my mind how he was a fellow countryman and well known by us. And God simply called him Saint John of Beverley as we do, and that with a most glad and sweet expression, showing that in his sight, he is a most treasured saint in heaven, full of glory. And with this he made clear that as a youth of tender years he was a dear servant to God, both loving him and fearing him. Yet God allowed him to fall, mercifully keeping him so that he did not die, nor lose any time. And afterwards God raised him to abundantly more grace; and for his meek and contrite life, God has given him many joys in heaven, surpassing that which he would have had if he had not fallen. And to show this is true on earth, God performs many miracles around his body.
And all this was to make us glad and merry in love.
CHAPTER 39
Sin is the sharpest scourge that any chosen soul may be struck by. It is a scourge which rips remorselessly into man and woman, and makes them hateful in their own sight, to such a degree that afterwards they imagine they are worth nothing but to sink into hell. Such imagining lasts only until the moment contrition takes them to the touch of the Holy Spirit, which turns bitterness into hopes of God’s mercy. And then their wounds begin to heal, and the soul is revived and turns to the life of holy Church. The Holy Spirit leads them to confession, with a will to show their sins nakedly and truly, with great sorrow and great shame at having defiled the fair image of God. Then they receive penance for every sin, as given by the confessor, who is grounded in holy Church by the teaching of the Holy Spirit. And this is one act of meekness that greatly pleases God; as does bodily sickness which he sends, and also sorrow and shame from without and the reproof of the world, with all manner of frustration and temptations that come our way, whether bodily or spiritual.
Our Lord keeps us most preciously when it seems to us that we are forsaken and cast out by our sin because we have deserved it. And because of the meekness we gain by this, we are raised very high in God’s sight by his grace, together with great contrition, compassion and a true longing for God. Then they are suddenly delivered from sin and from pain, and taken up to bliss, and made quite as high as the saints.
By contrition we are made clean; by compassion we are made ready and by true longing for God we are made worthy. These are three means, as I understand, whereby all souls come to heaven; that is to say, those who have been sinners on earth and shall be saved, for by these three medicines it is fitting that every soul be healed. And though the soul is healed, his wounds are seen before God not as wounds but as a badge of honour. And on the other hand, as we are punished here with sorrow and penance, we shall be rewarded in heaven by the courteous love of our Lord God Almighty, who wills that none who come to him lose in any way for their labours; for he beholds sin as sorrow and pain to his lovers, to whom, out of love, he attributes no blame. The prize that we shall receive shall not be little, but high, glorious and honouring. And so shall shame be turned to honour and more joy.
Our courteous Lord does not will that his servants despair at their frequent or grievous falling; for our falling does not hinder his love for us. Peace and love are ever in us, at work in our being; but we are not always in peace and in love. Nevertheless he wills that we take heed that he is the ground of our whole life in love; and furthermore that he is our everlasting keeper and defends us strongly against our enemies, who attack us full and fierce; and our need is all the more when we invite them onto us by our falling.
CHAPTER 40
This is the sovereign friendship of our courteous Lord: that he keeps us so tenderly while we continue to sin. And furthermore he touches us quite secretly and shows us our sin by the sweet light of mercy and grace. But when we see our self so foul, and fear God’s anger with us for our sin, then we are stirred by the Holy Spirit to contrition becoming prayer and desire, that with all strength we might amend our life, to lessen the wrath of God, until the time we find rest in our soul and a softness in our conscience. Then we hope that God has forgiven us our sins, and it is so.
Our courteous Lord then shows himself to our soul, merry and smiling, with a friendly welcome as if our soul had been in pain and in prison, saying sweetly: ‘My darling, I am glad you are come to me. I have been with you throughout your troubles, and now that you see my loving and we will be made one in bliss.’ And so it is that our sins are forgiven by mercy and grace, and our soul honourably received in joy, as it will be when it arrives in heaven. And whenever this happens, it comes by the gracious working of the Holy Spirit and the virtue of Christ’s passion.
Here I understood in truth that all manner of things are made ready for us in advance by the great goodness of God, that whenever we ourselves are in peace and love, then truly we are saved. But because we cannot know this in fullness while we are here, it falls to us evermore to live in sweet prayer and lovely longing with our Lord Jesus; for he always longs to bring us to the fullness of joy, as I have said when referring to his spiritual thirst.
But now a warning lest anyone, because of the spiritual comfort spoken of here, be stirred by folly to say or to think: ‘If this be true, then it is good to sin so as to have the more reward,’ or else to imagine themselves less guilty for sinning, beware of this stirring. Truly, if such thoughts arise, know them to be untrue and from the enemy of the same true love that teaches us that we should hate sin and only love. I am sure by my own feeling, that the more any naturally loving soul sees this in the courteous love of our Lord God, the more loathe he is to sin and the more he is ashamed. For if before us were laid together all the pains in hell, purgatory and the earth, death and others, and then by itself, sin, we would rather choose all that pain than sin. For sin is so vile and so greatly to be hated that it can be likened to no pain which is not sin. And it was shown to me there’s no harder hell than sin; for a normal soul has no hell but sin.
And when we make love and meekness our intent, by the working of mercy and grace we are made fair and clean. As mighty and as wise as God is to save people, so is he as willing. For Christ him self is the ground of all the laws of Christians, and he taught us to do good rather than bad. Here we can see that he is himself this love, and does to us just as he teaches us to do; for he wills that we be like him in the wholeness of endless love to ourselves and to our fellow Christians. Just as his love for us is not broken by our sin, neither does he will that our love for ourselves or fellow Christians be broken. But rather, that we endlessly hate the sin and endlessly love the soul, as God loves it. Then we shall hate sin like God hates it, and love the soul as God loves it. And this word that he said is an endless comfort: ‘I keep you securely.’