CHAPTER 41
“After this our Lord showed me about prayer. In this showing, according to our Lord’s meaning, I saw two conditions: one is rightfulness and the other is sure trust.
Often our trust is not full. We are not sure that God hears us because of our imagined unworthiness, and because we feel as nothing. Often we feel as barren and dry after our prayers as we were before our prayers. And this feeling and this folly is the cause of our weakness, and I have felt in myself.
And all this brought our Lord suddenly to my mind, and he spoke these words: ‘I am the ground of your asking. First, it is my will that you have it, and then I make you will it yourself. I then make you ask for it and you do ask for it. How then could it be that you do not receive what you ask for?’
And so in this first reason, that he is our ground, and then with the three that follow, our good Lord showed great comfort, as may be seen in these very same words. And in the first reason, he says this: ‘And you do ask for it.’ There he shows his great pleasure and the endless reward that he will give us for our asking. And in the second reason, where he says: ‘How then could it be?’ etc, this was said to indicate the impossible. For it is quite impossible that we should ask for mercy and grace and not receive it. For everything that our good Lord leads us to ask for, he has himself ordained for us from the beginning. Here we see that our own asking is not cause of God’s goodness; as he showed clearly when he spoke in these sweet words: ‘I am the ground.’ Our good Lord wills that this is grasped by his lovers on earth; and the more that we grasp it, the more we should we ask for it, if our Lord’s meaning is wisely understood.
Seeking is a true, gracious and lasting will of the soul, by which we are oned and fastened into the will of our Lord by the sweet inward work of the Holy Spirit. Our Lord himself, he is the first receiver of our prayer, as I saw, and takes it full thankfully and with much enjoyment. He then sends it up above and sets it among the treasures, where it shall never perish. It is there before God with all his holy ones continually received, ever speeding the meeting of our needs. And when we shall receive our bliss, it shall be given us back to us as a degree of our joy, with endless praise and thanks from him.
Our Lord is so glad and merry with our prayer; and he looks out for them and longs to receive it, for with his grace he makes us like himself in condition as we are by nature. And this is his blissful will. Therefore he says this: ‘Pray inwardly even though you imagine it does not help you; for it is profitable, though you do not feel it and see nothing; yes, even though you think you can do nothing. For in dryness and in barrenness, in sickness and in feebleness, then is your prayer especially pleasant to me, though you imagine it helps you but little. And it is the same with all your believing prayer in my sight.’
Because of this reward and the endless thanks that he wishes to give us, he is eager for our continual prayers in his sight. God accepts the goodwill and the hard labour of his servants, however we feel, and so it pleases him that we work both in our prayers and in good living, with his help and his grace, quietly keeping our focus fixed on him on him, until we have Jesus, the one who we seek, in full happiness. And this he showed me further on in the fifteenth revelation, saying this: ‘You shall have me as your reward.’
Alongside seeking, thanking also belongs to prayer. Thanking is a true inward knowing, in which with great reverence and loving fear we turn ourselves with all our strength to the working that our good Lord stirs in us, enjoying and thanking inwardly. And sometimes, in exuberance, it breaks out with voice, and says: ‘Good Lord, I thank you! May you be blessed!’ And then at other times, when the heart is dry and cannot feel, or when tempted by the enemy, it is driven by reason and by grace to cry out again to our Lord, recalling his blessed passion and great goodness. And the virtue of our Lord’s word enters our soul, makes alive the heart and encourages it by his grace into true working, making it pray blissfully. We enjoy the Lord truly when we are thanking.
CHAPTER 42
Our Lord God wills that we understand well three things that belong to our prayer. The first concerns the source from whom our prayer springs and the how. The source he shows when he says ‘I am the ground.’ and the how, by his goodness, in the words ‘It is my will.’ The second concern is this: in what manner and how we should use our prayer? It is our will turned to the will of our Lord in joy, which is his meaning when he says ‘I make you to will it.’ The third concern is that we should know the fruit and the end of our prayers; that is, that we become one with and like our Lord in all things. To this intent and this end was this beautiful lesson given, and he will help us, and we shall make it happen just as he has said. May he be blessed!
For this is our Lord’s will, that our prayer and our trust should both be large. For if we do not trust as much as we pray, we do not give full honour to our Lord in our prayer, and also we hinder and pain our self. I believe the reason is that we do not truly grasp that our Lord is the ground from whom our prayer springs; and also that we do not know that it is given to us by the grace of his love. If we knew this, we would trust in our Lord’s gift for all we desire; for I am sure that no one asks for mercy and grace with sincerity unless mercy and grace have already been given to them.
Sometimes we think that despite having prayed for a long time, we have not received what we have asked for. But we should not be depressed about this; for I am sure of our Lord’s meaning in this that we must simply wait for a better time, or for more grace or a better gift. He wills that we have a true knowing of him as our being, and that our understanding is grounded in this knowledge, with all our strength and all our intent and all our meaning; and it is on this ground that he wills us to take our stand and make our base, and by his gracious light that we have understanding of these things that follow.
The first is our noble and excellent making; the second, our precious and dear redemption; and the third, all the things he has made beneath us and made to serve us, and how, for the love of us, he keeps them.
His purpose in this was as if he said: ‘Behold and see that I have done all this before any of your prayers; yet now you are, and you pray to me.’ By this he says it is necessary for us to learn that he has already done the greatest deeds, as holy Church teaches; and in beholding this truth, with thankfulness, we ought to pray for the deed he is now doing; and that is, that he rule and guide us in this life, to his honour, and bring us finally to his bliss. And then he will have done all.
This is what he means: that we should both see what he does, and pray for what he does. For the one is not enough. For if we pray yet do not see what he does, it makes us heavy of heart and doubtful; and that does him no honour. And equally, if we see what he does, and yet do not pray for it, we do not pay our debt to him, and that cannot be; that is to say, it is not what he wishes to see. But to see what he does, and to pray it so, then he is honoured and we are helped along. All things that our Lord has ordained to do, it is his will that we pray for, either in special ways or in general. And in my view, the subsequent joy and bliss that is his, and the thanks and worship that is ours, pass the understanding of all creatures.
For prayer is a right understanding of that fullness of joy that is to come, with great longing and sure trust. The loss of the bliss kindly ordained for us, fills us with longing; while true understanding and love, in sweet mindfulness of our Saviour, graciously leads us into trust. And in these two workings our Lord beholds us continually; for it is our duty and his goodness expects nothing less.
And so we should work diligently, and having done all we can, count it as nothing for so it is. But if we do our best, and ask in truth for mercy and grace, all that we have lost, we shall find in him. And this is what he means when he says: ‘I am the ground of your seeking.’ And in this blessed word, along with the showing, I saw our weakness and doubting fears fully overcome.
CHAPTER 43
Prayer ones the soul to God; for though the soul is always like God in nature and substance when restored by grace, it is often unlike God in its condition, because of human sin. Then prayer becomes a witness that the soul wills as God wills, and it comforts the conscience and leads us to grace. And so he teaches us to pray, and to trust mightily that we will find grace. He beholds us in love and would make us partners in his good deeds; and so he stirs us to pray for that which it pleases him to do. And for this prayer and good will that he gives us, he will reward us with endless gifts.
And this was shown in this word: ‘And you seek it.’ In this word, God showed such pleasure and contentment, as though he is in our debt for every good deed that we do, (even though it is he who does it,) because we passionately ask him to do all things that seem to good to him. It is as if he said: ‘What can please me more than that you ask me, mightily, wisely and earnestly, to do that thing that I shall do?’ And so the soul by prayer is in harmony with God.
But when our courteous and gracious Lord shows himself to our soul, we have that which we desire. And then for a time, we do not see further things we need pray for; but rather, all our intent and might is focused on contemplating him. And this is a high and indescribable prayer, as to my sight; for the reason why we pray merges into the sight and beholding of the one to whom we pray. There is marvellous enjoyment in this holy fear, and such sweetness and delight in him that in this moment we can pray nothing but what he stirs in us. And as I know well, the more the soul sees God, the more it desires him by his grace.
But when we do not see him like this, because of our failing, then we feel both need and reason to pray to Jesus, to bring life back to ourselves. For when thesoul is storm-tossed and troubled, and left to itself by unrest, then it is time to pray, to make it self pliable and obliging to God. (But no amount of prayer makes God obliging to the soul; for his love makes him ever thus.)
And this I saw: whenever we see our need pray, then our good Lord follows us, helping our desire; and when by special grace we behold him clearly, seeing no other concerns, then we follow him and he draw us towards him by love. For I saw and felt that his marvellous and abundant goodness fulfils all our powers. I saw also that his constant working in all manner of things is done so well, so wisely and so mightily that it transcends all our imagining, and all that we can guess and think; and then we can do no more than contemplate him, enjoying him with a high and strong desire to be oned with him, and centred on his dwelling. Here there is joy in his love and delight in his goodness.
And then with his sweet grace, continuing in the work of meek prayer, we come to him now in this life by many secret touches of sweet spiritual sights and feelings, given to us as our simple souls may bear. And this is done, and shall be done, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, until we die in longing for love. And then shall we all come to our Lord, our self clearly knowing and God fully owning. And all of us shall endlessly be hidden in God. Then we will see him truly, feel him fully and hear him spiritually, breathing him in with delight and drinking from him sweetly.
And then we shall see God face to face, homely and fully. The creature who is made shall see and endlessly behold God who is the maker. For no one can see God and continue to live; that is to say, in this mortal life. But when of his special grace he shows himself here, he strengthens the creature above its self, and measures the showing, after his own will, as it most benefits them in that moment.