CHAPTER 67
And then our Lord opened my spiritual eye and showed me my soul in the middle of my heart. I saw the soul so large as though it was an endless worldand a blissful kingdom. And by the things I saw in there, I understood it to be a glorious city. In the midst of the city sits our Lord Jesus, God and man, a fair person of large stature, highest bishop, most majestic king, most honourable Lord and dressed majestically and worshipfully to my eyes. He sits in the soul, set straight in peace and rest. The Godhead rules and sustains heaven and earth and all that is, sovereign might, sovereign wisdom and sovereign goodness; butthe place that Jesus takes is in our soul, and he shall never leave it, ever, as I saw it; for in us is his most familiar home and his endless dwelling.
And in this vision, he showed the satisfaction he receives in making our soul. For as well as the Father makes a creature, and as well as the Son makes a creature, so does the Holy Spirit will that our soul is made, and so it is done. And in this way the blessed Trinity endlessly enjoys the making of our soul, for he saw from the beginning what would please him without end.
Everything he has made reveals his Lordship. And an understanding of this was given to me at this time through the example of a creature who sees great treasures and kingdoms belonging to a lord. When he had seen all this earthly nobility, beneath the lord, he marvelled, and was moved to look up to the high place where the lord dwells, knowing by reason that his dwelling must be in the worthiest place. And by this I understood in truth that our soul may never find rest in things that are beneath its self. And even when it rises above all other creatures and into its self, yet it cannot remain in contemplation of its self. Rather, its contemplation is to be blissfully set in God who is the Maker living within them. For our soul is his true dwelling; and the highest light and the brightest shining of the city is the glorious love of our Lord, as I saw.
And what can give us more joy in God than to see that he enjoys the highest of all his works? For I saw in the same showing that if the blessed Trinity had made our soul any better, any fairer or any nobler than it was made, he could not have been more pleased with our soul’s making.
And so he wills that our hearts be mightily raised above the deepness of the earth and all vain sorrows, to rejoice in him.
CHAPTER 68
This was a delightful sight and a restful showing that is quite without end. And the beholding of this while we are here is most pleasing to God and of great benefit to us; for the soul becomes what it beholds and is oned with it in rest and peace by his grace. And it was a singular joy and bliss to me that I saw him sitting; for the still security of his sitting showed this to be an endless dwelling.
And he gave me a sure knowing that it was he who had shown me everything before this. And when I had noticed this well, then our good Lord spoke words humbly, without voice and without opening his lips, just as he had done before, saying most sweetly, ‘Know well, it was no raving you saw today. But take it and believe it, and keep yourself in it and comfort yourself with it, and trust yourself to it; and you shall not be overcome.’
These final words were given to convince me that it is our Lord Jesus who showed me all these things. And just as in the first word that our good Lord showed, around his blissful passion, ‘By this is the devil overcome’, so he said in his final word, with absolute certainty and meaning us all: ‘You shall not be overcome.’
And all of this teaching about comfort is true for all my fellow Christians, as I have said, and so is God’s will. And this word: ‘You shall not be overcome,’ was said clearly and strongly for assurance and comfort in all tribulations that may come our way. He did not say: ‘You shall not be tempted, you shall not be in travail, you shall not be afflicted.’ But rather, he said: ‘You shall not be overcome.’ God wills that we take heed of these words, and remain strong in sure trust, in both health and woe. For he loves and enjoys us; and so he wills that we love and enjoy him and trust in him mightily; and all shall be well.
And soon after, all was closed and I saw no more.
CHAPTER 69
After this the fiend came again with his heat and stench, and kept me very busy. The stench was vile and painful, frightening and hard to endure. Also I heard bodily chatter, as if there were two people; and both, to my thinking, chattered at the same time, as if they were holding a parliament with great business. But it was all soft muttering, so I understood nothing of what they said. And all this was to bring me to despair, or so I thought; for it seemed to me they were mocking my praying of prayers, gabbling them with their mouths, and not giving the devout attendance and diligence which we owe to God in our prayers. But our Lord God gave me grace mightily to trust in him, and to comfort my soul by speaking out loud as I might have done to another person in trouble. I thought this activity to be unlike any bodily activity I knew.
I set my gaze on the same cross where I had found comfort before. With my tongue I spoke of Christ’s passion and rehearsed the faith of holy Church; and with my heart, I fastened on God with all trust and strength. And I thought to myself, saying: ‘You now have a great task to keep yourself in the faith, for you must not be taken by the enemy. If you were equally busy from this time on and for evermore keeping yourself from sin, then this would be a good and excellent occupation!’ For truly, I thought that if I kept myself from sin, then I would be safe from all the fiends of hell and enemies of my soul.
And so they occupied me all that night, and also in the morning until Prime. And then suddenly they were all gone and all passed; and they left nothing but a stench that lingered for a little longer; and I scorned them.
In this way I was delivered from them by virtue of Christ’s passion; for there is the fiend overcome, as our Lord Jesus Christ said before.
CHAPTER 70
Throughout this blessed showing, our good Lord gave me to understand that the sights would pass; after which I was to keep the blessed showing by faith, with his own good will and grace. For he left me with neither sign nor token by which to know it; but rather, left with me his own blessed word truly understood, bidding me most heartily to believe it. And so I do, and may he be blessed! I believe it was our Saviour who showed it, and that it is the faith that he showed. Therefore I believe it, rejoicing. And I am bound to it, and to all he meant in the following words: ‘Keep yourself within it, comfort yourself with it and trust yourself too it.’
In this way I am bound to keep the showing in my faith. For on the same day that it was revealed, at the time the sight faded from my view, like a wretch I forsook it, and I said quite openly that I had raved. But our Lord Jesus in his mercy would not let it perish, but showed it to me again in my soul more fully, with the blessed light of his precious love, saying these words, so humble and so strong: ‘Know this well now: it was no raving that you saw this day.’ It was as if he had said: ‘When the sight passed from you, you lost it and had not the skill to keep it. But know it now; that is to say, now that you see it once more.’
This was said not only for that that time, but also that I might set the ground of my faith here, for he added straightway: ‘But take it, believe it and keep yourself within it, comfort yourself with it and trust yourself to it; and you shall not be overcome.’
In these six words that follow, when he says ‘Take it’, his intention is to fasten it faithfully in our heart, for he wills that it dwell with us in faith to our life’s end, and then after in fullness of joy. He desires that we continue in steadfast trust in his blissful promise, knowing his goodness. For our faith is opposed in many ways by our own blindness, and our spiritual enemy, within and without; and so our precious lover helps us with spiritual sight and true teaching in many ways within and without, by which we may know him.
Therefore in whatever way he teaches us, he wills that we discern him wisely, receive him sweetly and remain in him faithfully. For there is no goodness higher than faith in this life, as to my sight, and beneath faith, no help for the soul; but within the faith, this is where the Lord wills we keep ourselves. And so we keep ourselves in the faith by his goodness and his working; and by his permission our faith is tested by spiritual enemies and made strong. For if our faith had no enemies, it would deserve no reward, according to my understanding of our Lord’s teaching.
CHAPTER 71
Glad and merry and sweet is the blissful and lovely face of our Lord to our souls. For he beholds us constantly, living in love-longing; and he wants our souls to be glad and cheerful towards him, to give him his reward. And so I hope that with his grace he has drawn, and shall draw again, our outer face to his inner face, to make us one with him and with each other, in the true and lasting joy that is Jesus.
I understand our Lord’s face in three ways. The first is the face of passion, which he showed while he was here in this life, dying. Though this manner of seeing was mournful and troubled, yet it is glad and joyous, for he is God. The second is the face of pity and compassion; and this he shows, with the assurance of safety, to all his lovers who take themselves to his mercy. The third is the blissful face, as it shall be without end; and this was shown most often and continued for the longest time.
And so in the time of our pain and our woe, he shows us the face of his passion and his cross, helping us to bear it by his own blessed strength. And in the time of our sinning, he shows to us the face of compassion and pity, strongly keeping us and defending us against all our enemies. And these are the most common faces which he shows to us in this life, mingling with them the third, which is his blissful face, a glimpse of how it shall be in heaven. And this is a gracious touching and sweet lighting of the spiritual life, by which we are kept in sure faith, hope and love, with contrition and devotion; and also in contemplation and all manner of true solace and sweet comforts. The blissful look of our Lord God works all this in us by grace.
CHAPTER 72
But now I must tell you how I saw deadly sin in those who shall not die for sin, but live in the joy of God without end.
I saw that two opposite things could never be together in one place; and the most opposite are highest bliss and deepest pain. The highest bliss is to have God in the clarity of eternal life, seeing him truly, feeling him sweetly and enjoying him perfectly and fully. In this way was the blissful face of our Lord shown in pity; a showing in which I saw that sin is the most opposite, and to such extent that as long as we are meddling with any part of sin, we shall never see clearly the blissful face of our Lord. And the more horrible and grievous our sin, the further we are in that moment from this blissful sight. And therefore it often appears to us that we are in peril of death and in a part of hell, such is the sorrow and pain of sin to us. And thus we are momentarily dead from the true sight of our blissful life.
But in all this I saw truthfully that we are not dead in the sight of God, and neither does he ever leave us. But he shall never have his full bliss in us until we have our full bliss in him, truly seeing his fair and blissful face; for we are destined for this by nature, and arrive there by grace. So I saw how deadly sin is for a short time in the blessed creatures who will gain endless life.
And the more clearly the soul sees this blissful face by loving grace, the more it longs to see it in fullness. For notwithstanding that our Lord God dwells in us and is here with us; and despite the fact that he clasps us and encloses us in tender love that can never leave us, and is nearer to us than tongue can tell or heart can think - yet we will never stint in our moaning or our weeping or our longing until the time we see him clearly in his blissful countenance. For in that precious and blissful sight, no troubles can remain and no health can fail us.
And in this I saw reason for mirth and reason for moaning. The reason for mirth is this: our Lord, our Maker, is so near to us and in us and we in him by a sureness of keeping through his great goodness. The reason for our moaning is this: our spiritual eye is so blind and we so burdened by the weight of our mortal flesh and darkness of sin, that we cannot see our Lord God clearly in his fair and blissful face. No, and because of this murkiness, we can scarcely believe and trust in his great love and in the safety of our keeping. And so it is as I say, that we can never stop moaning or weeping.
This weeping does not only mean the pouring out of tears by our bodily eye, but has also a more spiritual understanding. For the natural desire of our soul is so great and immeasurable, that if for our solace and comfort we were given all the noble things that God had ever made in heaven and in earth, and yet were denied sight of his fair and blissful face, then we would not stop our moaning or the spiritual weeping of painful longing, until the time we could truly see the fair and blissful countenance of our maker! And if then we were in all the pain that heart can think and tongue may tell, yet saw his fair and blissful smile, then all this pain would not grieve us. Such is the wonder of this blissful sight that all manner of pain in the loving soul is ended, while it is filled with all manner of joy and bliss. And this he showed me in the high and marvellous words when he said: ‘I am the one who is highest; I the one who is lowest; I am the one who is all.’
Three ways of knowing are ours. The first is that we know our Lord God; the second is that we know our own self; what we are by him, in nature and grace; while the third is that we are humbly aware of our self with regard to our sin and feebleness. And for these three reasons were all the showings given to me, as I understand.
CHAPTER 73
All the blessed teaching of our Lord was shown in three ways. That is to say, they were given by bodily sight; by words formed in my understanding and by spiritual sight. The bodily sight I have described as I saw, and as truly as I can; the words, I have expressed them just as our Lord showed them to me; and concerning the spiritual sight, I have told of this in some degree, but I can never fully tell it. I am therefore stirred to speak more of this sight, as God’s grace allows.
God showed two kinds of sickness which we have: one is impatience or sloth by which we bear our travails and hurt with heaviness; the other is despair or frightened doubt, as I shall speak of later. He showed me sin in general, in which all were included, but he especially showed these two; for it is these which most trouble and tempt us, according to the Lord’s revelations to me; and he wishes us to be aware of them. I speak here of such men and women who for God’s love hate sin and dispose themselves to do God’s will, but who then, by spiritual blindness and bodily heaviness, find themselves inclining to them. And therefore it is God’s will that they be revealed, for then we shall refuse them as we do other sins.
And to help us in this, our Lord humbly showed the patience he had in his harsh passion; and also the joy and pleasure he had in his passion, for love. And this he showed to show that we should gladly and wisely bear our pains, for that is very pleasing for him and of endless benefit to us. And the reason why we are so troubled by them is our ignorance of love. Though the three persons of the Trinity are all equal in themselves, the soul finds most understanding in love; yes, and he wills that in all things we make our gaze and our joy in love; for we are most blind to this understanding. For some of us believe that God is almighty and may do all; and that he is all-wise and can do all; but that he is all-love and will do all, there we stop short. And it is this ignorance that most hinders God’s lovers, in my eyes. For when we begin to hate sin, and amend our lives according to the teaching of holy Church, there remains a fear that holds us back, as we look at ourselves and all our past sins, and for some of us, at our daily sins; for we do not keep our promises, nor keep ourselves in the cleanness our Lord set us in. Instead, we often fall into so much wretchedness that we feel ashamed when we see it. And acknowledging this makes us so sorry and so down, that there is scarcely any comfort to be found. And this fear we sometimes mistake for humility, but it is a foul blindness and a weakness. And we do not despise it as we do other sins that we know to be sin, for it comes subtly from the enemy and is against truth.
It is God’s will that of all the natures of the blissful Trinity, we should have most security and comfort in love; for love makes us strong and wisdom makes us humble. For just as by the courtesy of God he forgives our sin as soon as we repent, so he wants us to forgive our sin, in respect of unhelpful depression and doubting fears.
CHAPTER 74
For I understand that there are four kinds of fear. One is the fear of a fright that comes to us suddenly by frailty. This fear does good, for it helps to purge us, as does bodily sickness or other pain that does not arise from sin. All such pains help us if they are patiently endured. The second is fear of pain, whereby we are stirred and wakened from the sleep of sin. For a time, we may be unable to discern the soft comfort of the Holy Spirit, until we have understanding of this fear of pain, of bodily death and of spiritual enemies. This fear stirs us to seek the comfort and mercy of God and in this way helps us, and enables us to be contrite by the blissful touching of the Holy Spirit. The third is doubtful fear. Doubtful fear - that which draws us into despair - God wills it to turn into love in us, by the knowing of love; that is to say, the bitterness of doubt is transformed into the sweetness of natural love by grace; for it can never please our Lord that his servants doubt in his goodness. The fourth is reverent fear; for there is no fear that fully pleases God except reverent fear. And that is most soft, for the more it is known, the less it is felt for sweetness of love.
Love and fear are brothers, and they are rooted in us by the goodness of our maker, and they shall never be taken from us, ever. Both nature and grace give us love; and both nature and grace give us fear. It belongs to God’s lordship and fatherhood to be feared, as it belongs to his goodness to be loved. And it belongs to us who are his servants and his children to fear him for his lordship and fatherhood, as it belongs to us to love him for goodness.
And though this reverent fear and love cannot be separated, they are not one and the same, but rather, they are two in their nature and in their working; and neither of them may be had without other. Therefore I am sure that they who love also fear, though they feel it but a little.
All fears that come to us, other than holy fear, may come under the colour of holiness, but they are not true, and we can tell them apart in this way. The fear that makes us flee hastily from all that is not good and fall into our Lord’s breast as a child into the mother’s bosom, with our intent and our mind, aware of our feebleness and our great need, knowing his everlasting goodness and his blissful love, seeking only him for salvation and clinging to him with sure trust: the fear that brings us to this disposition is natural, gracious, good and true. But all fear that is contrary to this, is either wrong or it is mingled with wrong. And this is the remedy: to know them both and refuse the wrong.
For the natural benefit of fear which we have in this life by the gracious working of the Holy Spirit, shall be the same in heaven before our gentle, courteous and most delightful God. And so we shall, in love, be homely and near to God, and we shall, in fear, be gentle and courteous to God; and both equally alike.
Let us then desire from our Lord God that we fear him reverently, love him humbly and trust in him deeply; for when we fear him reverently and love him humbly our trust is never in vain. For the more we trust and the more deeply, the more we please and honour our Lord who we trust in. And if we fail in this holy fear and humble love – and God forbid we should! - our trust will falter for a time. And so we need to pray to our Lord of grace that we may possess this holy fear and humble love, his gift to us, both in our heart and in our work. For without this, no one may please God.
CHAPTER 75
I saw that God can do all that we need. And I shall speak of three particular needs: love, longing and pity. Pity in love keeps us in the time of our need; and longing in the same love draws us up into heaven. For God thirsts to have all humankind come to him, and in this thirst he has drawn his holy ones who are now in bliss. And in gaining more living members, he ever draws and drinks, and yet always thirsts and always longs.
I saw three kinds of longing in God, and all to one end; and we have the same longing in us, by the same strength and for the same end. The first is that he longs to teach us to know him and love him evermore, as is appropriate and enabling for us. The second is that he longs for us to know his bliss, as souls do when they are taken out of pain into heaven. This third is to fill us full of bliss; and that shall be on the Last Day, when we shall be filled forever; for I saw, as it is known in our faith, that the pain and sorrow shall end for all who are saved. And not only shall we receive the same bliss that souls had before in heaven, but we shall also receive a new bliss, which shall flow plentifully into us from God and fill us; and these are the goods which he decided to give us from the very beginning. These goods are treasured and hid in himself; for until that time, no creature is capable or worthy enough to receive them.
In this filling, we shall truly see the cause of all the things he has done; and for eternity we shall see the cause of all the things he has allowed. And the bliss and the filling shall be so deep and so high that, in wonder and marvel, all creatures will know such a great and holy fear of God, surpassing anything seen or felt before, that the pillars of heaven shall tremble and quake. But this manner of trembling and dread shall have no pain; for it belongs to the worthy might of God to be looked on in this way by his creatures. They will look in great fear and trembling, in both humble and joyful quaking, marvelling at the greatness of God the maker and at the littleness of all that is made. For gazing on this makes the creature marvellously humble, meek and mild.
Therefore it is God’s will and also our duty both in nature and grace, that we know and understand this, desiring this sight and this working; for it leads us in the right way, keeps us in true life and ones us to God. And as good as God is, so he is great, and as much as his goodness is to be loved, so is his greatness to be feared. For this reverent dread is the fair courtesy offered to God’s face in heaven. And as much as he shall then be known and loved more than he is now, so also shall he be feared more than he is now.
And so it must be that all heaven and earth shall tremble and quake when the pillars shall tremble and quake.
CHAPTER 76
I speak but little of holy fear, for I hope it may be seen in those things just described. But I am well aware that our Lord showed me no souls but those who fear him. For I know well that the soul who truly receives the teaching of the Holy Spirit, hates the vileness and ugliness of sin more than it hates all the pain that is in hell. For as I see it, the soul that beholds the fair nature of our Lord Jesus, hates no hell but sin. And therefore it is God’s will that we are aware of sin, and pray busily, labour earnestly and seek teaching humbly so that we do not fall blindly into it; and if we do fall, that we rise quickly. For it is the most pain a soul can have, to turn from God at any time in sin.
The soul that wills to be at peace when another’s sin comes to mind, must flee it like the pain of hell, and seek out God for a remedy, for help against it. For the beholding of another’s sin creates, as it were, a thick mist before the eyes of the soul, in which we cannot, for the time, see the fairness of God; until, that is, we are able to see the person with contrition, compassion and with a holy desire for them before God. For without this, it harms, tempts and hinders the soul who beholds them. This I understood from the revelation about compassion.
In this blissful showing by our Lord I received understanding of two opposite things. The first is the wisest thing any creature can do in this life, and the second is the most folly. The wisest thing a creature can do is to follow the will and counsel of his highest sovereign friend. This blessed friend is Jesus, and it is his will and his counsel that we hold ourselves to him, and fasten ourselves to him in a homely way for evermore, in whatever state we are; for whether we are foul or clean, we remain the same in his love. In health or trouble, he never wants us to flee from him.
But because we are so changeable in ourselves, we often fall into sin. Then in our folly and blindness, the enemy stirs in us a doubting fear saying this: ‘You see clearly that you are a wretched creature, a sinner and also unfaithful, for you do not keep your promise. You often promise our Lord that you will do better, and then soon after, you fall again in the same way, especially sloth and time wasting.’ And that is the beginning of sin, as I see it; and especially for the creature who has given themselves to serve our Lord, inwardly beholding his blessed goodness. This feeling makes us fear to appear before our courteous Lord. And in this way our enemy holds us back with his false fear, by threatening us in our wretchedness and our pain. For it is his intention to make us so heavy and weary with it all, that we forget all about the fair, blissful contemplation of our everlasting friend.
CHAPTER 77
Our good Lord showed the enmity of the fiend, by which I understood that all that is contrary to love and peace is from the fiend and his party. Because of our feebleness and our folly, we must fall; and because of mercy and grace from the Holy Spirit, we must to rise to more joy. And if our enemy wins anything from our falling, for that is his pleasure, he loses a great deal more in our rising by love and meekness. And this glorious rising is a great sorrow and pain to him, and such is his hate for our soul, that he burns continually in envy. And all the sorrow he would inflict on us, shall be turned on him self. And for this reason our Lord scorned him, and it made me laugh loudly.
This then is the remedy: that we are aware of our wretchedness and flee to our Lord; and the needier we are, the more speedily must we draw close to him. And let us summarise like this: ‘I know well that I have a sharp pain; and that our Lord is almighty and can punish me mightily; and that he is all-wisdom and can punish me discerningly; and that he is all-goodness and loves me most tenderly.’ And we must live in this understanding, for there is a lovely humility in a sinful soul, brought by the mercy and grace of the Holy Spirit, when we willingly and gladly take the scourge and chastening of our Lord that he will give us. And it shall be very tender and most easy, if only we keep ourselves satisfied with him and with all he does.
The kind of penance we must take on ourselves was not shown to me; that is to say, not specifically. But it was shown specially, clearly, and with a most lovely look, that we shall meekly bear and suffer the penance that God himself gives us, with a mind to his blessed passion. For when we consider his blessed passion, with pity and love, then we suffer with him as his friends did who were there. And this was shown in the thirteenth showing, near the beginning, where it speaks of pity. For he says: ‘Do not accuse yourself overly, imagining that your troubles and woe are all your fault; for I do not want you to be heavy or unduly sorrowful; for I tell you, whatever you do, you will have troubles. And therefore I wish you to understand that this is your penance, and see in truth that all your life is a penance for your benefit. This place is prison and this life is penance, yet he wills that we rejoice in the remedy. For the remedy is that our Lord is with us, keeping and leading us into the fullness of joy. For our Lord intends this to be an endless joy: that he shall be our bliss when we are there and our keeper while we are here. Our way and our heaven are true love and sure trust; and he gave expression to this in all the revelations; and especially in the showing of the passion where he made me mightily choose him for my heaven.
When we flee to our Lord we shall be comforted; when we touch him we shall be made clean and when we cling to him we shall be secure and safe from all manner of peril; for our courteous Lord wills that we should be as homely with him as heart can think or soul desire.
But let us beware that we are not so familiar as to forget the courtesy. For our Lord himself is sovereign homeliness; yet just as he is homely, so also is he courteous, for he is courtesy itself. And the blessed souls who shall be in heaven with him for eternity - he wants them to be like him in every way. And to be perfectly like our Lord is our true salvation and our complete bliss.
And if you do not know how you shall do all this, then seek our Lord and he shall teach you, for it is his own liking and his honour. May he be blessed!
CHAPTER 78
Mercifully, our Lord shows us our sin and our feebleness by the sweet and gracious light of himself; for our sin is so vile and so horrible that out of courtesy he will not show it to us except by the light of his grace and mercy. He wishes us to know four things therefore. The first is that he is our ground from whom we have all our life and being. The second is that he keeps us mightily and mercifully even at the time when we are in our sin and among our enemies, when they fall forcefully upon us. (We are in so much more peril when we give them an opening and yet do not know our need.)The third is how courteously he keeps us and reminds us when go astray. The fourth is how steadfastly he abides with us never changing his look; for he wills that we turn again and be oned to him in love as he is to us. And thus by this gracious knowing we may see our sin helpfully and without despair, for we need to see it in this way. We shall be made ashamed of ourselves, and our pride and presumption brought down; for it is necessary to see ourselves as nothing but sin and wretchedness.
And so by the sight of the lesser sins that our Lord shows us, more can be conjectured which we do not see. For out of his courtesy, he measures that which is shown to us; for it is so vile and so horrible that we could not endure to see it as it is. And in this way, by meek knowing, contrition and grace, we shall be loosed from all that is not our Lord. And then shall our blessed Saviour perfectly heal us, and one us to him self.
Our Lord intends this breaking and this healing for humankind in general. For those who are highest and nearest to God may see themselves as sinful and needy like me. And I, who am the least and lowest of the saved, may be comforted with the one who is highest. In this way our Lord has oned us in love: when he showed me that I would sin. In my joy at beholding him I did not give due attention to that showing, and our courteous Lord stopped there and would not teach me anything more until he gave me the grace and will to understand. And by this I learned that though we are lifted up into high contemplation by the special gift of our Lord, yet it remains necessary for us to have awareness and sight of our sin and our feebleness. For without this knowing we may not have true humility, and without humility we cannot be saved.
And afterwards, I also saw that we cannot gain this knowledge either from our selves or from any of our spiritual enemies; for they do not will good things for us, and if it were left to them, we would not see it until the day of our death. And so we are much in God’s debt that he wishes, out of his love, to reveal it in this time of mercy and grace.
CHAPTER 79
I also received further understanding from this revelation. When he showed me that I should sin, I took it literally to be about me; for I was not shown otherwise at that that time. But by the high and gracious comfort of our Lord that came after, I saw that his understanding was for humankind in general; that is to say, for all people who are sinful, and shall be until the last day - of which group by God’s mercy I hope I am a member. For the blessed comfort that I saw, it is large enough for us all.
And here I was taught that I should see my own sin and not that of another, unless it is for the comfort and help of my fellow Christians. And also in this same showing where I saw that I would sin, I was taught to fear my uncertain self. For I did not know how I would fall, nor the measure nor the greatness of the sin; and I would like to have known that, with due fear, but I had no answer. Also our courteous Lord at the same time showed most definitely and mightily his endless and unchanging love; and that by his great goodness and the inward keeping of grace, his love and our soul would never be parted in two, without end. And so in this fear, I have reason for the humility that saves me from presumption; and in the blessed showing of love, I have reason for true comfort and joy that saves me from despair.
All this homely showing by our courteous Lord is a lovely lesson and his own sweet and gracious teaching for the comfort of our soul. For he wills us to know by our sweet and homely love of him, that all that we see or feel that is contrary to this, within or without, is from the enemy and not of God. And so if we are stirred to be more reckless in our living or in the keeping of our hearts, because we know of this plentiful love, then we must beware. For this stirring, if it comes, is untrue, and we ought to hate it with a passion, for it all has no likeness to God’s will.
And when have fallen, by frailty or blindness, then our courteous Lord touches us and stirs us and calls us; and then wills that we see our wretchedness and meekly be aware of it. But he does not wish for us to stay like this, nor that we become busy with accusation, nor feel wretched about ourselves. Instead, he wills that we immediately turn ourselves to him. For he stands alone and waits sorrowfully and mournfully until we come to him, and is eager that we do; for we are his joy and delight, and he is our ointment of healing and our life.
When I say he stands all alone, I fail to mention the speech of the blessed company of heaven, and speak rather of his office and his work here on earth, for such was the manner of the showing.
CHAPTER 80
There are three things we stand upon in this life; and by these three God is honoured, and we are helped onwards, kept and saved.
The first is our use of common sense; the second is the common teaching of holy Church and the third is the inward and gracious working of the Holy Spirit. And these three are all from one God, for God is the ground of our common sense; and God, the teaching of holy Church; and God is the Holy Spirit. And all are sundry gifts which he wills us to notice well and attend to. For these work in us continually, all together; and these are great things. And he wills that we have knowledge of these great things here, like in an A.B.C.; that is to say, that we have a little knowledge here; and then a full knowledge in heaven. And this is to help us onwards.
We know in our faith that God alone took our nature, and none but he; and furthermore that Christ alone did all the works that belong to our salvation, and none but he. In the same way, he alone stays with us now to the very end; that is to say, he dwells here with us, and rules us and governs us in this life and brings us to his bliss. And he shall do for as long as any soul bound for heaven is on earth, to such an extent that if there were but one soul remaining, he would be remain alone until he had brought him up to his bliss. I believe and understand the ministration of angels, as scholars tell us, but it was not shown to me. For he himself is nearest and meekest, highest and lowest, and does all; and not only all that we need, but he also does all that is honouring for our joy in heaven.
And when I say he waits sorrowfully and full of grief, it means all the true feelings that we find in ourselves in contrition and compassion - our sorrow and grief that we are not oned with our Lord. And everything that is helpful, it is Christ in us. And though these are rare feelings for some of us, they never pass from Christ until such time as he has brought us out of our woe. For love is never allowed to be without pity. And when we fall into sin and forget about him and the keeping of our own soul, then Christ alone keeps sole charge; and stands sorrowfully and full of grief.
Then it is our duty out of reverence and kindness to turn hastily to our Lord and to no longer leave him alone. He is here alone with us all; that is to say, only for us is he here. And when I am estranged from him by sin, despair or sloth, then I let my Lord stand alone, in as much as he is in me. And it is so with all of us who are sinners. But though it is true we often do this, his goodness never allows us to be alone, but he is lastingly with us, tenderly excuses us and always shields us from blame in his sight.
CHAPTER 81
Our Good Lord showed himself in various ways both in heaven and on earth, but I saw him take no place except in the human soul. He showed himself on earth in the sweet Incarnation and in his blessed passion. And in other ways he showed himself on earth as in the revelation where I say: ‘I saw God in a point.’ And in another way, he showed himself on earth as if he were in pilgrimage; that is to say, he is here with us, leading us and shall be until he has brought us all to his bliss in heaven. He showed himself reigning at various times, as I have said, but principally in the human soul. He has made there his resting-place and his fair city; and he shall never rise from nor leave it.
Marvellous and solemn is the place where the Lord dwells, and therefore he wills that we answer readily to his gracious touch, rejoicing more in his whole love than sorrowing for our frequent fallings. For it is the most honouring thing we can do for him above all others: that for his love, we live gladly and merrily in our penance. For he looks upon us so tenderly that he sees all our living here a penance; for our natural longing for him is a lasting penance in us; a penance which he works in us and mercifully helps us to bear.
His love makes him long for us, while his wisdom, truth and rightfulness make him suffer in us here; and this is the way he wants it to be in us. For this is our natural penance and the highest in my view. For this penance never leaves us until the time we are fulfilled, when we shall receive him as our reward. And therefore he wills that we set our hearts on the transcendent; that is to say, from the pain that we feel to the bliss in which we trust.
CHAPTER 82
But our courteous Lord showed here the grief and the mourning of the soul, meaning this: ‘I know well you will live for my love, joyously and gladly suffering all the penance that may come to you; but in as much as you do not live without sin, for my love you suffer all the woe, tribulation and distress that can come to you. This is true. But do not be too aggrieved with the sin that falls to you against your will.’
And by this I understood that the Lord regards the servant with pity and not with blame. For this passing life does not ask to be lived without blame and sin. He loves us endlessly, we sin habitually and he exposes us very gently. Then we sorrow and mourn discreetly, turning ourselves to gaze on his mercy, hugging his love and goodness, seeing that he is our medicine and perceiving we do nothing but sin. And so with the humility won by sight of our sin, faithfully aware his everlasting love, thanking and praising him, we please him.
‘I love you and you love me, and our love shall not be separated in two; for this benefit I suffer.’ And all this was shown in spiritual understanding, with the blessed words: ‘I keep you most surely.’ And by the great desire that I saw in our blessed Lord that we should live in this manner - that is to say, in longing and enjoyment, as this whole lesson of love reveals - I understood that that which is opposed to us is not from him but from our enemy. And he wishes us to know it by the sweet gracious light of his kind love. And if there is any lover on earth who is continually kept from falling, I do not know them, for it was not shown to me.
But this was shown: that in falling and in rising we are always kept precious in one love. For in beholding God we do not fall, and in beholding our self we do not stand; and both these are true as I see it. But beholding our Lord God is the highest truth. Then we are so greatly bound to God that he will in this life show us this high truth. And I understood that while we are in this life it is most helpful to us that we see both these at once. For the higher beholding keeps us in spiritual solace and true enjoyment of God; while the lower beholding keeps us in fear and makes us ashamed of ourselves. Our good Lord wills always that we hold ourselves much more in the higher contemplation; yet forget not awareness of the lower, until the time when we are brought up above, where we shall have our Lord Jesus for our reward and be filled with joy and bliss without end.
CHAPTER 83
I had, in part, touch, sight and feeling of three characteristics of God, in which the strength and effect of the whole revelation stands; and they were seen in every showing, and most particularly in the twelfth, where he often said: ‘It is I.’
The characteristics are these: life, love and light. In life there is marvellous homeliness, in love is gentle courtesy and in light is endless nature. These properties were one in goodness; and with this goodness my reason sought to be oned, clinging to it with all its might.
I beheld with reverent fear - highly marvelling at the sight and feeling of the sweet accord - that our reason is in God. I understood that it is the highest gift we have received and that it is grounded in nature.
Our faith is a light, kindly coming from the Endless Day who is our Father, God. In this light our Mother, Christ, and our good Lord, the Holy Sprit, lead us in this passing life. This light is measured carefully, there for us in the need of the night. The light is the cause of our life; the night is the cause of our pain and of all our woe, for which we earn recompense and thanks from God. For we, with mercy and grace, steadfastly know and trust our light, entering into it wisely and confidently. And at the end of our troubles, our eyes shall suddenly be opened, and in the clear light our sight shall be whole. This light is God, our Maker and Holy Spirit, in Christ Jesus our Saviour.
And so I saw and understood that our faith is our light in our night; and the light is God, our endless day.
CHAPTER 84
The light is love, and the measuring of this light is done for us beneficially by the wisdom of God. For neither is the light so bright that we can see our blissful day, nor is it shut out. But it is the kind of light in which we can live duly rewarded, with deserving labour and the endless worship of God. And this was seen in the sixth showing where he said: ‘I thank you for your service and for your work.’ And in this way love keeps us in faith and hope, and hope leads us in love. And in the end all shall be love.
I had three ways of understanding this light of love. The first is love unmade; the second is love made; the third is love given. Love unmade is God; love made is our soul in God and love given is virtue. And that is a precious gift of working in which we love God for himself; and ourselves, in God; and that which God loves, for God.
CHAPTER 85
And in this sight I marvelled highly. For notwithstanding our simple living and our blindness here, our courteous Lord endlessly beholds us in this work, rejoicing. And we please him best by wisely and truly believing these things, and by rejoicing with him and in him. For as truly as we shall be in the bliss of God without end, praising and thanking him, so truly we have been in the foresight of God, loved and known in his endless purpose from time without beginning. In this unbegun love he made us; and in the same love he keeps us and never allows us to be hurt in a way by which our bliss might be lost.
Therefore when the last day is called and we are all brought up above, then we shall clearly see in God the secret things which are hidden from us now. Then shall no one be stirred to say in any way: ‘Lord, if it had been so, then it would have been well.’ But rather, we shall all say with one voice: ‘Lord, may you be blessed for it is so, and it is well; and now see we truly that all things are done as you ordained before anything was made.’
CHAPTER 86
This book was begun by God’s gift and grace, but it is not yet performed, as to my sight. For we all pray for love, together with God’s working, thanking, trusting and enjoying. For this intent may our good Lord be prayed to, for this was the understanding I took from all his meaning and from the sweet words where he says so merrily: ‘I am the ground of your beseeching.’ For truly I saw and understood our Lord’s intent to reveal these things for he wishes they were better known than they are; for in such knowing he gives us grace to love him and clasp him. For he beholds his heavenly treasure on earth with such great love that he wants to give us more light and solace in heavenly joy, by drawing our hearts to him, from the sorrow and darkness we are in.
And from the time it was shown, I often desired to learn our Lord’s meaning. And fifteen years later and more, I was answered in spiritual understanding, with these words: ‘You wish to learn the Lord’s meaning in this thing? Learn it well: love was his meaning. Who showed it to you? Love. What did he show you? Love. Why did he show it? For love. Hold yourself there and you shall learn and know more of the same. But you shall never know nor learn any other thing there.’ In this way I was taught that love was our Lord’s meaning.
And I saw so clearly that before God made us he loved us; and this love never slackened, nor ever shall. In this love he has done all his works; in this love he has made all things to benefit us and in this love our life is everlasting. In our making we had a beginning; but the love in which we were made was in him and without beginning. In this love we have our beginning; and all this we shall see in God, without end.
May Jesus grant us this.
Amen.