FIVE
When Indra sent Lomasa to the Pandavas, the muni also brought a secret message from the Deva, just for Yudhishtira.
Indra said, "I know the dread in your heart, Yudhishtira. You fear Karna because you think he is a greater archer than Arjuna. Do not be afraid, I will take some of Karna's power away from him."
Yudhishtira kept Indra's message close and it consoled him. And one dark night of a new moon, Indra decided to keep his promise to Yudhishtira. The Pandavas' exile neared its end and the great war drew near; it would not do to leave Karna as invincible as he was. But Karna's father, Surya Deva, divined Indra's intention.
That night, as Karna lay asleep, the Sun God came to him in a dream. He came as an illustrious brahmana. He said to the warrior, "Listen to what I have to say, Karna. I have come to save your life."
The brahmana seemed strangely familiar and Karna said, "Tell me what you have come to say, Brahmana."
The brahmana said, "You worship the Sun God at noon and never turn away anyone who comes to you for alms at that hour. Your charity sets you apart from other men.
But tomorrow, Karna, a mortal enemy will come to you for alms. Indra himself will come to you as a brahmana and he will ask for your kavacha and kundala. He is Arjuna's father and the alms he will ask for are the two things that are your very life."
In the dream, Karna stood amazed before the brahmana whose eyes were flames. He stood passive, in the way of dreams and listened avidly. The brahmana continued, "Your golden earrings belong to Aditi, the mother of the Devas and the armor you wear was dipped in amrita. Part with the kundalas, Karna and you will part with half your life. Give away your kavacha and you will not live long after. The mail you wear is protection not merely against enemies' weapons but time itself.
I wish you well, Karna. When Indra asks for your kavacha and kundala, offer him anything else in their place. Offer him your army, your kingdom, but tell him he cannot have the earrings and the armor."
Karna was moved. "How fond you are of me, stranger! And you are no ordinary brahmana, who know what will happen tomorrow. Why, you know the mind of Devendra himself.
Then, Brahmana, you are even more extraordinary in that you seem to love me. I have lived many years in this sad world and only two people have truly cared about me. My mother Radha loves me and Duryodhana loves me like his own brother. Now you seem to be a third. Brahmana, tell me who you really are."
The brahmana shone brighter than ever in Karna's dream. He said, "I am Surya whom you worship every day and I bear you great love!"
Karna saw the brahmana's body was iridescent now and he fell at the Deva's feet. He cried in a fervor, "My Lord! You are my Ishta Devata, the only God I worship. I am blessed a thousand times tonight, that you have come to me yourself."
Karna clasped the brahmana's feet in his hands and wept for joy. Surya Bhagawan said, "Karna, there is more truth in you than any other man alive. I have not come lightly, but to warn you of dire peril and to save your life. When he comes begging tomorrow, do not give your kavacha and kundala to Indra."
Karna raised his eyes to look into the face of the God, who was his father, though the son did not know it. He said, "My Lord, I have sworn my oath for you. Every day, after I worship you, I wait for someone to come to me for alms. The alms I give are in your name and I give anything I am asked.
All these years, I have never wavered in this ritual. The oath I swore was in anguish, that the world shunned me because I was a sutaputra. My own guru cursed me when he discovered what I was. It was after Bhargava cursed me that I swore my oath and since that day, some peace entered my life. This charity is what sustains me; it calms my unquiet heart.
The dearer what I give away is to me, the greater the peace I find. Lord, if someone asks me for my very life, I pray I have the wisdom and the courage to give it without a thought. For that shall be my Salvation and bring me honor."
The splendid Sun stood over his child, listening to him absorbed, in deeper love than Karna guessed, anxiety and pride. Karna went on, "I have never loved this life of mine much, anyway. I have never belonged anywhere, or to anyone. Not even to my mother Radha, since I am not her flesh and blood, though she loves me more than her life.
Above everything else, I crave honor. Honor is the only balm that soothes my pain and I have won honor for myself in the hardest way any man ever has. If tomorrow Indra asks me for my kavacha and kundala and I refuse to give them to him, my honor will die in a moment. It is true that I might live longer then, but my shame will outlive me.
If the Lord of heaven himself, who slew Vritrasura, comes to me as a beggar, why, it will be with pride that I give him my very life. And that final charity must bring me eternal fame."
A shadow crossed Karna's proud, ravaged face. He smiled wryly, "Fate has never been my ally, not since my natural mother abandoned me. It seems I have a harder road to walk than any other man. I have no doubt that, like Indra, fate is also on the side of the Pandavas. In my heart, I know that even if I am the better archer, Arjuna will kill me. I have never told this to anyone before, but I know when he and I face each other in battle, finally, as we were born to, I will die by Arjuna's hand.
I am certain of this and not a day passes without my thinking of it. Yet, even if Arjuna take my life, there is one thing he shall never have: my honor. I love my honor more than my life. Long ago, I chose honor for my bride and I will cling to her even in death. Only she imbues my life with meaning, invests it with purity. Without honor, life is meaningless. Why should I seek to prolong my life after I abandon its meaning, its very soul?
I care nothing if Indra takes my kavacha and kundala, when, by doing this, he shall bless me with the everlasting life of the spirit.
I swear in your name, Surya Deva, my only Lord, I will not refuse Indra what he wants. Why, most of all, because he asks for no less than my life!"
The Sun God said, "Ah Karna, don't do this foolish thing. Life is as precious as honor. And what about your wife and your sons? And Duryodhana, who you say loves you as his brother? Give away your kavacha and kundala and you will give away the war that is coming; for only you can stand between the Pandavas and victory.
What use, Karna, will honor be to you when you are dead? My bhakta, even as you have worshipped me every day, I too have loved you. In the name of that love, I implore you, don't do this senseless thing! Turn Indra away when he comes tomorrow to beg for your life."
With tears in his eyes, Karna said, "It is only you I have ever worshipped and my heart is full today seeing how you love me. Yet, I cannot do as you ask. I am not afraid of death, but the very thought of dishonor terrifies me. I have sworn an oath. I must not betray myself by breaking it, not for the sake of victory, or of all our lives.
Ah, my Lord, what greater joy can I wish for than your coming to me like this? Bless me, Surya Deva. Lay your hands on my head and grant me undying fame."
Surya, the brahmana, said, "Your dharma is greater than even Yudhishtira's: almost as if you both were brothers and you the elder one! I am proud of you, Karna. When Indra comes tomorrow and takes your kavacha and kundala, ask him for his Shakti in return. That Shakti will protect you, in some measure, when your golden armor is gone."
The Sun God laid his nitid palms on Karna's head and vanished from the warrior's dream. Karna awoke with a start in the darkness of night. Over and over, he relived his dream, until dawn lit the world outside.